Slightly Faded

How does it sing, and what does it say?

Incapable.

Not good enough.
Fat.

Stupid.

Worthless.

Usable. 

The words that used to mean so much, 

mean so little with every little touch,

your scent lingers on my clothes, 

with every little kiss, you fill my holes, 

Capable.

Good enough for me.

Beautiful.
Intelligent.

Worth more than you know.

Lovable. 

The words that make the most impact, 

with every little insecurity, you react,

because with you I know that there is hope,

and with him, I always knew how to get good dope. 

Suppressed and used,

undressed and bruised, 

stressed and abused,

messed and refused.

I'm wondering how I even got here,

and how I let you get so near so I could hear,

all the names you called me and and how much I bawled,

emotionally drained and nothing did I gained with you, 

how I wonder if you survived all these years and all those beers.

Glowing and love, 

Outgoing and above him,  

Knowing and beloved,

Growing and free of him.

Author's Note

I know the rhyming is a little cheesy.

Reviews

[trainwreck]

having a solid rhyme scheme is not a bad thing, but you need to be careful and make sure that it actually makes sense, which in this case it did. I was impressed that you managed a very consecutive story in this format with a rigid rhyme scheme. Great job.

[Zackery Alan Daley]

Wow this is a great poem! I haven't commented on any of the submissions in the contest I created, until now. The only bad part is it didn't fit the criteria of the contest enough, however it fits my criteria as a writer and I hope you accept my friend request

Zacky D.

[miguelbovine]

I like it,WASNT ONE OF MY FAVS BY YOU..STILL IT'S better than alot of published stuff i read.

[FemmeSpookyCorpse]

This is a really good piece! It flows greatly, and your descriptions are vivid and strong. Great work!

[Ripple of Aqua]

I like the way that you were curt with some words, and then with others you completely let it out. Great read.

[bobby]

You know I might have been distracted but because the timing was so bad I didn't hear the rhyming. I did like the depth of topic and references to negative words cause holes and kindness fills them that was good.

[amdc101]

Love how him is crossed out at the end. Nice touch. It sucks that people can be like that, but way to let it go.

[w2de35657u687y4324rf]

The word "usable" has both good and bad connotations. It fit the context, but the reaction I got wasn't as immediate as the rest of your work. You were right about the rhyming. It's good to know you are above "him", but it got confusing when you dipped into the present with the second sequence and went back to the past with the third. Good work.

[Tasha]

I didn't find it cheesy. It was a very good story you told. Well done.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[OT]

nice job! and I'm with trainwreck - you managed to keep to the story with the rhyme whereas many compromise what they're saying to squeeze it into the form - I'd remove a few syllables here and there to make the meter more snappy and consistent (mean so little with every touch/with every kiss, you fill my holes) etc. - but no I didn't find the rhyming too cheesy! great write!

[Lily Mae]

A great write and no cheese :) x