Dread Locked Dumpster Diver

Fictitious and humorous pièce de résistance about... dumpster diving.

Not by choice this average

bonehead configured Earthlinked

went kicking, and screaming

into refuse bin

naturally (no questions asked,

nor guffaws uttered) with chin

clamped tight, since the missus

(by some rare, min

ness school, one in a

bajillion chancy pin

in a haystack fluke

of circumstance) sin

gull handed dropped,

the entire set of keys (YES) vin

dick heave lee into

the morbid, horrid

and fetid weeks old
garbage filled dumpster,

this an absolute

zero - no win
ning situation, roundly pitched

against a cosmic malicious yin

hmm..., a hunch shot
thru my mind, that she,
whose first name simply Abby

blithely, casually,

and deliberately tossed

the only set of keys free

lee (for sole access

to our apartment, plus

the singular way

to start our car,

a 2009 Hyundai Sonata

as if that makes sum difference),

and with her sinister glee

fully, excitedly, and coquettish lee,

plus maniacally, preternaturally,

and snidely wanted me

to sink deep into the

junk yard rabid dog gone,

maggot and rat

infested stinking pit pre
venting no more violent

fisticuff altercations getting re

tally lit tory revenge e'er since

(I readily, stoically,
and tacitly admit),
this blowhard good

for nothing husband drunken deal

O meg odd, Sigma Epsilon
former frat boy,

who weathered

volleyed unspooled evil
epithet laced expletives
both of us suffering fools dell
lose hen null, asper

this match made in hell

yourr truly inflicting (measure
for measure) un intel

ledge gent till hurtful heaping

glomming pell mell
more'n a death knell

feline times nine

lifetimes of misery hard sell

tum ma crony's, a

worthless corny soul

shucked aye tell

each of our base grotesqueness
equally receiving our
deserved respective weltanschauung
headstrong shouldering keel well

ling kneecaps, and toes

oven angry papa

no match for an absurd

albeit, one petsmart mama bird,
twittering cruelly, emasculating
my manhood, curd
dill ling, and excoriating
thine ego, gird

ding mine entire being

with accursed damnation heard,

this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
sans her blistering, unswerving,

and weltering wicked wrathfulness,

yawping fiendish zeal,

she malevolently espoused

with every scathing word.