While feeling constipated...

while initially set to craft a poem, I came to a figurative fork in the road and took the one with more verbosity to enclose.

unable to edit for umpteenth time

so... go ahead

do myself a favor and doze
away with a half sashay
poetic sisters and bro's,
and the attempt flows

mostly smoothly with patches

of superfluous details,

but hopefully not enough

to discourage an avid fan

to still grant me

good and plenty hellos

who one or more respondents

employed at Trader Joe's.

About fifty percent fact

and the identical
percentage fiction I did hi-jack
the once innocent boy within me,
which even then a healthy imagination
parents would attest I did not lack
though impetus to write regularly

found procrastination an easy tack

tick to follow, and surprisingly enough

my both deceased mom and dad

never did resort
to corporal punishment

but in later years
for various and sundry reasons

enumerated in other writings of mine
did verbally land me a whack
while I stood
like a statue made of stone

carved into the shape of a yak.

With sphincter muscles tightly wound...
just to recap status
of my present
lower gastrointestinal dilemma
heady telecommunication
at the speed of sound
to Santa Claus �"
to make a slight diversion
to drop me a stronger laxative
no matter Dulcolax (liquid),
plus one cup of organic
smooth move herbal supplement
cautiously optimistically downed
bowels accentuating agony,
contracting holiday joy, pulsating,
and subtracting desire
to remain alive,
while writhing paroxysms of violent
quakingly, spasmodically, violently
and painfully, corporeally debilitating
torment doth bound
finding me singing a capella,
the dyschezia blues,
where freeing the bowel movement
can be heard all around
throughout The Highland Manor complex
and even audible
in your neck of the woods..

Though regularly post feeble attempts at writing poetry and prose, an endeavor and idea arose (videlicet topic de jure) to interject my semi demitasse - bio �" written introduction (argh, the return/ enter key pressed before modifications made to this blubbery blurb, which this chap birthed January xiii, mcmlix) wrote quite so many moons ago.

Anyway, I tend to go weigh over board when espying a whelk combing message from a facebook stranger offering me a chance to like their storied page. familiar with body of mine, yet unsure where to begin mein kampf - tet offensive against self - aware aversion inadequate to vetting process when this blurb perused baring soul o'er net, but basic needs (according to Abraham Maslow �" yeah him again), this guy and his kindred family of origin met travails abounded - still paying back prepubescent close funereal emotional debt. many years, (nee decades) ago, the effort to function compromised by irritable bowel syndrome, profuse perspiration, nausea, rapid heart beat, vertigo, and sundry other physiological symptoms, which found me more miserable than the person who sits here writing you. perhaps neurological quarks matches the title from Lady Gaga - born that way minus the poker face, but definitely high marks for bad romance since even in the throes of infancy (this from hearsay versus meme or ray 'n mani keen supposedly cried only when my deceased mother held me - oy vey aversion extant 2 ward octogenarian widower pa e'en today n nothing he could say during growing up years okay could affect a loving embrace - nay just the contrary - n puzzling in hindsight why fear, intimidation, loathing kept us at ebay cuz he (nor decade + long deceased mum) n'er abused their only son a. so this grown man sitting here and responding to your gentle probing search for personal information (which response caught me off guard - since cessation of further correspondence made clear a couple emails ago), a product of cumulative experience plus genetic predisposition to mental illness. anyway, no qualm deters this loner of a chap from spelling out much more than he asks the reader (yourself) to share.

One must be mindful of past events (that applies to everyone) when attempting to understand why someone exhibits certain behavior. now - at thirty three years from attaining rank of centenarian perfect 20/20 hindsight offers supreme advantage from said current chronological crisis theorizing numerous educated guesses within mind of this middle progeny and sole sol (of the late Boyce and the later Harriet Harris) why he willfully hurtled his flesh at light speed down the abyss before yours truly inched closer toward death.

A severe depression oriented mental health toward literal and physical lightness of being (think anorexia nervosa) about five and a half decades ago manifested within nooks and crannies prior to full blown symptoms to eliminate sustenance drawing the curtain on brief residence way before high noon of life.

Metamorphosis from boyhood into man found solace in attempting to keep at ebay pubescent natural cycle, which transformation grieved me to pine for nostalgic childhood’s end, (albeit one fraught with idyllic fictitious romanticism) vengefully hastened, interpreted, and jumpstarted attempt to halt dead in the tracks intervention of mother, whose nursing experience helped fend off passive attempt to promulgate passive silent plan to fruition.

In an effort at impossible mission to distract attention from being all consumed courtesy obstructed bowel movement, which vary by cause, but common terms include ileus, paralytic ileus, intestinal obstruction, mechanical obstruction, pseudo-obstruction, and obstructed defecation syndrome (ODS), describing issues from paralyzed bowels (ileus) to physical blockages (adhesions, tumors, fecal impaction) or difficulty passing stool (dyschezia), I dipped my overactive imagination into reservoir (atop an edenic, kinetic, and romantic scenario, and came up with the following story.

Donned atop noggin of mine - with a brittle, dust laden, and frayed thinking cap, but otherwise in mint condition - ha (essentially a family heirloom - that harkened back to my Bubba's Zayda and didst captcha rumination), thru the molecules of the material long since weatherbeaten with encrustation, I vicariously experienced ephemeral faint bodily, interestingly enough vestigially similar sensations one would expect to be associated, affected, and allegedly by whomever wore the individual him or herself, similar affect (I hypothesize since yours truly never endeavored to subject myself to sensual manifestations) when wearing Head-mounted displays, such as Microsoft HoloLens, Magic Leap 2, and Apple Vision Pro, which constitute dedicated AR devices that overlay digital content directly into the user's field of view, which HMDs integrate cameras, inertial measurement units (IMUs), and depth sensors to track head movement and map the immediate environment housing amalgamated sorrows and joys of a life (or lives - as in the case of a troika of closely linkedin ancestral threads courtesy videlicet tightly embedded fibers and yes third eye blind hub banded heart felt, foo fighting beastie boys from past unknown relations of mine, whose aura, charisma, dogma, and persona invisibly transmitted to me, whereat vague emotional residue of their essence (meaning the individual in questions) wrought sentiments experienced by he/him, she/her, or they, them similar to Augmented Reality (AR), which enhanced our real world by overlaying computer-generated digital information, like images, sounds, and text, onto our physical surroundings, creating an interactive, richer experience without replacing reality (unlike Virtual Reality) courtesy devices like smartphones or smart glasses with cameras and sensors, AR blends digital content with our live view, allowing for real-time interaction and context, seen in everything from Pokémon GO to virtual furniture placement apps.

Though actual communication did not occur, nor any handy dandy blues clues visual awareness of either of our respective existences accessed, visualized, nor witnessed, by the other, nevertheless a bonafide twittering subtle uber quintessential electrical force field jump/kick started, snapped, crackled, and popped across the eons of time, perhaps felt all along the webbed, wide, world that encompassed the internet synonymous to byte sized data being carried, integrated, and powerfully transmitted along information superhighway, and gave us more than a spiritual lyft.

A very slightest approximation thereof constituted time traveling - qua clothing heavily fleshly endowed body electric of mine (even though yours truly less than the current average height and weight of grown men) tightly attired me and barely fit mine heavily accentuated ample adipose tissue, especially around the abdomen ever so amazingly graceful allowed, enable, and provided a bit of a challenge slipping in and out of raiment belonging to a grateful dead soul genetically linkedin to me and spirited thru nearly invisible filaments comprising the well preserved not machine made, (but most likely hand sewn, and extremely delicate) article.

Analogous to communicating between myself and long expired kith and even the smattering of kin, wherein all of us lied supine and lovely bones of the latter no longer among the living, but lying intestate, we subconsciously experienced quasi telepathic interaction.