I haint axing to be cosseted, honored, nor mollycoddled ...

I haint axing to be cosseted, honored, nor mollycoddled ...

A Poem by matthew scott harris
"

i just let thoughts unspool about the countless egregious instances when scoundrels exploited my naivete as an online neophyte getting computer(s) hacked and bank accounts ransacked.

"

just because yours truly
(ist ed - the writer of these words)

fell for the chic clickbait,
complementing outright treachery
with such promising perks
vis a vis vague parries and thrusts
against my p***y footing relinquishing
any salient details about their sham enterprise
except attesting boatloads
of money will be mine
with any number of dollar signs
awaited my acquisition after sharing
my sensitive information
such as Citizens debit cards
and/or social security number,
name, rank and serial number, et cetera
nothing but hollow
Potemkin village spoils galore,
“sure we will include Macbook Pro”
never maxing out of memory
with room for countless megabytes galore

enroute to apartment b44
videlicet their ambuscading,
cheerleading, degrading,
gasconading, goading, masquerading,
persuading, promenading, railroading

rodomontading, serenading,
and spearheading truculence
as mock apple pie,
where malicious merchants and/or vendors
cajoled, harangued, intimidated,
manipulated, and threatened me
with arrest, I kid you not
virtually robbed me of dignity,
while I innocently ambled along
on the information superhighway,
purposely driven off course
with intent to impinge
on my anemic finances
severely leveraging, levering, and leveling
(think wrecking ball)
glaring heinous inconsistencies,
against gifting me,
a veritable stranger with such largesse
and odiously loving
obvious chagrin at my expense,

and got taken as a dummkopf

to the cleaners and
wrung out to dry big time,
while a tempest in a teapot brewed
witnessed sans jagged bolts of lightning
and ear-splitting deafening thunder

all the while fleecing,
shilling, stripping me
of cents and sensibility,
whereby the doubtful thomas
within these lovely bones
got his ejaculations
of suspicion and fraud verbally bulldozed
courtesy those nasty,
brutish and short tempered culprits
contending with absolute zero verity
my intuition, which screamed
incredulous, ludicrous, monstrous,
preposterous, ridiculous
shooting down meek ripostes
and quips of mine rebuffing such
intimations of intuited credibility
(though pride and prejudice
forbade me to post a gofundme page)
yanking pulling the wool over my eyes

with seconds to spare,

the predatory virtual villains
also cleaned my clock,
which finds me ticked off,
hence the reason
for this pseudo poetic rhyme
invariably gently imploring,
pleading, and beseeching
for an altruistic benefactor,

(or a sugar auntie,
daughter, momma, et cetera),

who shucks off guise

of a dolled up indigo girl,

and she (a barenaked lady)
comes charging at breakneck

reo speedwagon velocity on a (pure

as the driven snow) golden sled
propelled courtesy the hoofs-
property of a white steed
giving off an aura, charisma,
and an enigma
variations (on a theme
of Paganini) of enticement

buttering me up with the promise
of entering heaven's gate

into a veritable land
called Shangri La,

where all the women possess strength,
the men handsome,
and children above average
cause they originally emigrated

from Lake Wobegon, Minnesota
peddling (from village to village)
powder milk biscuits,
which purportedly gives shy people
empowerment to stave off
even the most badass cyber crook
selling the Brooklyn Bridge
for the umpteenth time
and believe me you,

chicanery, gamesmanship and legerdemain
nothing but preliminary deceit up their sleeve,

and loathe being outfoxed,
when their intended agenda
included getting elusive subject
triangulated square in the cross hairs
where thyself as intended direct object
got preyed upon time and again
until vile threats hurled
without success learning costly lesson
basically more aware now
that most person's experience cyber crime

and while all ages face risks,
the elderly (60+)
suffer the most financial losses
and report the most crimes,
but children, youth
(teens/young adults),
and those with lower digital literacy
or facing real-world discrimination
(like minorities, immigrants,
LGBT individuals)
also highly vulnerable,
targeted for different reasons
like financial scams (seniors �" like me),
sextortion/grooming (youth),
or harassment (minorities),
wise to the ways that elderly
analogous to being like putty
in the hands cyber criminals
exploiting specific vulnerabilities
like trust, lack of experience,
or social isolation across demographics,
and online stalkers employ
ever more sophisticated strategies
to blindside, deceive, facilitate,
hoodwink, jinx, lambaste,
and rack up one after another

hesitant and reluctant man, woman or child.

© 2025 matthew scott harris


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Added on December 31, 2025
Last Updated on December 31, 2025

Author

matthew scott harris
matthew scott harris

schwenksville, PA



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Would the real “Matthew Scott Harris” (born January 13th mcmlix) please stand up! Curiosity got the better part of me as mined fingers typed Matthew Scott Harris (quite some time, but I.. more..