Heavyweight boxer Jarrell Miller forced...

i subscribe to the week, and the last page offers a name the blurb using no more than seven words, and though does yours win, an idea arose to make a poem as a good laugh.

to pay hefty price when
told the bald truth regarding
the dollar value
for a top notch toupee,
which cost rivaled,
and actually exceeded by magnitudes
even compared to scalpers
who did a brisk business
snagging a ring-side seat
analogous to secure an upscale cage
within the human zoo
which livelihood sprung up
after artificial intelligence
linkedin and took over
twenty first century civilization
inspired by how bipedal animals
and rendered just like that
(imagine dragons snapping fingers
but Homo sapiens)
got treated humanely in Zipangu
(or Cipango) the name for Japan
used by Marco Polo, derived
from the Chinese name
for Japan ("Land of the Rising Sun"),
and famously described
in his writings as a wealthy
"Land of Gold"
due to abundant gold in temples,
a legend that inspired
explorers like Columbus who
thought he reached
lucrative storied spice islands
to access its flavor flav
for all four seasons
trade and riches,
believing he reached the East
by sailing across
the Atlantic Ocean
and though disappointed
he still managed to wow
the sold out crowd,
patiently waiting at Madison
Square Garden true
anecdote only found
in one history book I wrote -
with disappointing sales
no pun intended,
but resultant money made
counted as mere chicken feed
because essentially said explorer
misread my chicken scratch

hastily scrawled with my claws

not surprisingly enough
while studying animal husbandry
professor Mister Rooster
he informed all prospective students
to don a custom made getup,
those who made more
of a lifelike costume,
got the higher grade
actually in mis-truth,
I did him one better,
and eagerly availed myself
to receive an experimental drug
supposedly to jump/
kick start a lackluster libido,
which unwittingly
had absolute zero impact
on this bumbling, doodling,
and festering depressive c**k,
but rather transformed yours truly
resulting him resembling a gigantic
Gallus gallus domesticus
about the size of Big Bird,
who felt angry
(and unfortunately
took his own life) at sudden
unpopularity and got pulled
from future episodes of Sesame Street,
and even an unflattering obituary
written about him
since all attention suddenly
got paid to me,
whereat curious bystanders
gravitated toward humble wordsmith,
(he felt he could lay an egg),
which crowdsource found themselves
waiting in a long queue
that snaked around
the entire perimeter of campus
as if waiting for Jawaharlal Nehru
(1889�"1964) an Indian
anti-colonial nationalist,
secular humanist,
and the first Prime Minister
of independent India (1947�"1964).