April fools' day - ordinarily all manner of tomfoolery abounds

April fools' day - ordinarily all manner of tomfoolery abounds

A Poem by matthew scott harris
"

scrolling thru my online collection of poems, i came to one that nearly upended civilization as we know it about a half dozen dirty deeds done dirt cheap years ago.

"

Pressed for time

after taking some shut eye
that would rival Rip Van Winkle
I self plagiarize a poem of mine
written back when yours truly
a foolish young guy.

Written/updated since last yesteryear
during global coronavirus pandemic

unlike any other metonym,
when out of this world

outlandish accouterments

people did wear
hermetically sealed

of even faintest tear

to avoid contamination

against coronavirus pandemic
air supply difficult to spare

when wing and prayer

soul saving amazing grace
frankly against scalpers, marauders,
and fraudsters steeling
themselves to profiteer
a mountebank's favorite pseudo holiday.


Pandemic straps tightly

plied girded beltway

unlike any other All fools day

in annals of recorded ("fake") history

western civilization tapestry doth fray

April first two thousand and twenty six

neigh, no time for sergeants nor horseplay

what with coronavirus (COVID-19)

boarded ship of jilted fools cavort being gay
(think Homo sapiens �"
in terms of being happy
no sexual interpretation meant)

barred courtesy omnipotent jackstay

furloughed workers analogous

grumpy minions lay

dwarfed by unfortunate global events, née...

germinating, jackknifing, and wreaking havoc

Mother Earth nonchalantly toying

(indiscriminately) regarding humanity

as bestrewing bajillion biohazards berserkly

bequeathing bedlam into child's play
and grow up as hoodlums
donning clown trappings
taking over Quai D'orsay
(a street along the Seine river in Paris
that serves as the site
of the French Ministry
of Foreign Affairs)
doling out just desserts
pineapple upside down,
she doth understandably repay

man/womankind flicked as flotsam and jetsam

vile treatment diabolically heaped,
jubilantly loosed, maniacally pitched
upon her terrestrial firma oy vey

she chokes, gags, laughs raspily yea

rebuffs, refuses, and renounces further abuse.

Nevertheless toothless gumption, albeit feeble

fighting spirit, her survival instincts assail

cumulative environmental destruction
triggered casus belli expelling deadly toxins,

when Gaia doth exhale

since onset of global interregnum
(think virulent spreading poisonous Kudzu
like wildfire biohazard)

since world wide webbed disease

brought grinding halt

consumerist paradigm in lockdown,

nonetheless within brief interim

noticeable clearer air to inhale

amazingly enough postal system...
intact voila... uninterrupted delivery of mail,

the daily highlight experienced
among people emotionally crippled

pasty faced and pale

finds quivering Captain Kangaroo

courting King Crimson,
plus good n plenti proud primates
each dancing and quivering

like a captive dang gulling dan - sing quail.

© 2026 matthew scott harris


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Added on March 31, 2026
Last Updated on March 31, 2026

Author

matthew scott harris
matthew scott harris

schwenksville, PA



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Would the real “Matthew Scott Harris” (born January 13th mcmlix) please stand up! Curiosity got the better part of me as mined fingers typed Matthew Scott Harris (quite some time, but I.. more..