I dreamt about nature's indifference

i just let my thoughts flow with every now and again a quick revision and frantically trying to keep the core idea from slipping away.

Don't mind me as words of despair dribble and trickle out merely the residual flooding, jump/kickin starting ravaging fragments of awful sleep state leaves me utterly fatigued possibly rem states influenced by frightful nonfictional news worthy hallucinations generating anticipatory anxiety about the end of the world as we know it.

I dreamt about nature's indifference to civilization and collective attendant discontents in general, and how unknown brilliant minds courtesy predecessors harkening back millenniums ago hashtagged as geniuses today (sprouting up like hardy flora unpredictably surviving against the odds even under the most adverse circumstances that would vitiate a less robust and optimistic creature to wither and die like the author of these words), those born with an extrasensory innate insight with blithe nonchalance (cue a flick of their finger) and with modesty unwittingly inaugurate quantum leaps of comprehension, and by George - rocket those (against their will) like myself, (a humble human forced to bite the dust, but wait... a heavenly miracle amazingly gracefully intervenes just in the nick of time where angels of mercy salvaged these lovely bones with flesh fully intact) unfortunately pitted against dark forces from the underworld where the furies simultaneously propelled me at lightspeed into smithereens only to usher and under_score further existential nihilism by magnitudes that suddenly exploded mine body electric with a wimpy big bang (whew glad that nightmare over despite eyes wide shut), nevertheless I ask myself why must this Dummkopf suffer and wallow in mental, physical and spiritual despair foisting, creating, and affecting self defeat burying himself within an abysmal hell hole whereat countlessly time and again I find himself swimming against the tide all these three score and seven years), where within psyche id est yours truly (me), an anonymous snippet of proto Homo sapiens sapiens gifted or cursed me with an unhealthy dose of skepticism (proving prognosticators worse case scenario, whereat a horrible premonition regularly haunts sleep, where ruthless nasty, short and brutal power hungry self anointed egomaniacal mad men declare themselves gods while scattered bands of scared souls huddle in makeshift bunkers where within altered states of deep (purple) dead to the world restlessly slumber, within subconscious the vast majority of people forced to resort to atavistic primal instincts - each man, woman and child forced to summon forth long since atrophied animalistic basic long since forgotten self reliance upon him/herself, nevertheless while dreadful drama only a dream, I can't assimilate knowledge assiduously enough in pursuit of self motivated ambition to extricate myself from torturous bountiful self absorption (analogous to plants, whose roots reach deep underground for vital nourishment and thrive) their woody material to be repurposed into cumulative books (the so called classics) where self appetite for handy dandy blue's clues trigger that eureka moment of discovery (learning something new even after perusing them for the umpteenth time) courtesy reading while the planet flares up in a towering inferno of flames, this strange juxtaposition when feeling like a zombie utterly exhausted to turn another page of conscious expanding material but corporeal essence barely stumbling across obscure tomes that hinted of apocalypse now, which temporarily lyft sagging enthusiasm to bring an end being alive to the hellish fiasco played out within sixty plus shades of gray matter and finally deliver uber enlightenment that an extra dose of pain-reliever can't easily end raging red bull on par with the inquisition analogous to a warped door-dash delivery gig driver buzz-feeding an insatiable appetite to wipe out these recurring agonizing diabolical heady mauling courtesy viciously wickedly troublesome rem cycles frankly zapping any chance to experience peace of mind, thence upon awakening, I continue to plod along the boulevard of broken dreams just barely enduring a life sentence of anxiety/panic attacks, dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorders, and palmar hyperhidrosis.

Ofttimes, I can't cope with mailer daemons upstaging tentative survival skills, (albeit feeble attempts to stay alive) grasping upon detritus of just desserts for surrendering into sordid adultery life, but a terrible dream grasping flotsam and jetsam to remain afloat (as within the cyber sea with nothing but streaming destruction swirling all around me Tubi or not Tubi caught within a riptide of exceptional strength) with nary another human being far as the eye can see only the aftermath of some cataclysm that rent asunder global destruction where latent meteorological phenomena (mixed in with the weapons of mass destruction unleashed furious forces) surpassing any previous natural killer wailing walls of water far and above exceeded those recorded courtesy when the then known class ten hurricane hashtagged as Katrina and the waves lapped with a hungry heart tongue like floundering doggone foo fighting beastie boys or indigo girls as if planet earth exceeded an irrevocable tipping point of no return where last ditch efforts laughable as the powers that be spitefully unleashed and damn the torpedoes.