Fall

The breeze, so warm, sings through the trees
Dances over the bent and broken horses
Of the old merry-go-round. The flowers
wither to the dirt, submerged so quickly
inside a grave of fire-leaves.
The demons run through the open dark,
angels nipping at their heels.

Ghosts sit inside the silence on those bent and broken horses
wishing they were not forgotten like their immobile steeds.
They watch the demons run away from light
and grasp the coat-tails of the angels, desperate to
take flight.

One day those ghosts will walk right over
the flowers’ leafy tombs. They’ll sail from the
battered merry-go-round into the light of day. Trusting
all those angels who reach out for their hands,
they’ll leave behind their noble steeds for just
another fall.

Author's Note

This is something I wrote back in the beginning of the air as an assignment for my creative writing class. The topic was fall, but we weren't told whether he meant fall the season or fall the action of falling.

This is one of the pieces I'm going to be submitted for my portfolio at the end of the semester. Comments and crit appreciated! I'd especially like to know if you think there's anything I should change before I put in my portfolio. :)

Reviews

[Marlena]

I love it ^_^ I like the format you've got and how mythical the whole concept is. Amazing work, love ♥

[Aekmy]

Simply lovely. Nice structure, but, and maybe this is just me, but because some of the words didn't rhyme at the end like I had expected, it sounds a little off. It isn't in a completely bad way. I still really enjoyed this piece. Great job. (:

[Michael X]

I enjoyed this because the pace flowed steady and rapidly moved from image
to image, much like the meaning itself, the flint of youth and imagination.
The words take the reader to another place and time, from beginning to
end, great job, thanks for sharing your talent.