Flower of Time

There lies a simply little flower holding on to all the power of time.

At the center of the ocean of the
                color-spotted roses
                where the day bids the moon goodnight
There lies a simple little flower,
its vine twisted ‘round the bower
holding on to all the power of time

On the cusp of the dusk
When the sun bleeds one last drop
Little flower begs the night
Into ravenous flight
Just for a while, until the sun may rise again

All the seconds, minutes, hours
Yield to little flower’s power
hear the clock tick in tune with its heart

And the coffin singers whisper dirges
                to the roses
                that wilt and tumble to their tombs
                to the candles
                that melt down to make their graves
But that simple little flower
                with vines twisted ‘round the bower
                is as young as when its seed burrowed into the ground

Author's Note

Another piece for my creative writing class. I'm also considering putting this one into my portfolio, so if you guys have any crit I would love to hear them before I submit it. :)

Oh, and the picture I used for this one is one of my own pieces.

Reviews

[Pale Rose]

The rhythm of this poem is sublime. I love how it reads. It gives you a sense of what immortality must be like.

Congrats on the Next Top Poem win, by the way!

[Lexi Nicole]

Thank you so much!!

[Audrey Howitt]

This is just gorgeous writing!

[Priya]

How on earth hasn't this got more reviews yet? This is sublime! It is probably a cliche to say that this poem speaks to me on many levels, but it is true. To me, the poem symbolizes hope. How belief in oneself can help one move seemingly immovable obstacles. It is inspirational, not just in message, but in structure as well. The free flowing rhythm and the delightful vocabulary are the petals that adorn this perfectly created flower of yours :)

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

This is the sort of poem that whispers at you from the inside, which each reading I appreciate it a bit more. It's just impressive and I'm glad you shared it.

[Aekmy]

This is absolutely wonderful! Reading this has inspired me to write something myself. Thank you very much. This poem has very nice flow. It isn't choppy. The sentences meet their full potential. You used a very wide vocabulary. It's imaginative yet to the point, but it still leaves room for the thinkers. I really like the concept of this poem, too. Overall, this is fannntastic. (:
Keep writing, please.

[Thomas Fleet]

One of the best poems I have read in a very, very long time. I admire most about this poem its structure. It's a slight break from the ordinary poetry I see. I also appreciate your choice of words in this piece. The first stanza would have to be my favorite, and the entire poem read well, for the most part. I think your structure played a big part in determining how its read; I loved it.