The Cold

 

Bam.
A single shot rings through the air,it's not a bullet but an arrow.
It's head dipped in poison, poison with your name.
I'm thrown to the ground by the force of the shot.
As the arrow pierces my skin,The poison seeps in.
I lay stretched out on the grass, my body growing weak.
My eyes fill with tears, that find escape down my cheek.
I watch the sky as it turns black, and the wind begins to blow.
The wind is met with frost, which turns into snow.
My tears turn to ice, and my breathe begins to slow.
I can feel the poison taking over, I've become the cold.

Author's Note

Just tell me what you think it's about. Does anything seem like it's put wrong?

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Powerful and vivid, full of imagery that reveals the brutal nature of relationships grown cold... Brilliant words!

Craig

[Michelle Tarnowski]

Chilling. I do like what you wrote and I was surprised that you were the one shot and not the other person. Must come from my own instances of vengeance writing. The thing I noticed was that it goes from not rhyming (A single shot rings through the air,it's not a bullet but an arrow. It's head dipped in poison, poison with your name. I'm thrown to the ground by the force of the shot.) to rhyming later. That made it more difficult to read. Would like to read more of your work.

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

okay this is going to be totally off,but oh well...i thin it's about a loved one hurting you and you've been cold,wicked, or scared to trust anyone after it.... i know that this will probably confuse people, but poems ar supposed to intrigue the mind..

~may