pure exhileration

a poem on flying

push off the cold, hard ground

spread your wings

see what you can do

soar over the skies

on top of the world

you are on top of the world

you have control

break free 

into the pure exhileration

Author's Note

tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Surya pradha]

a spirit-raising poem! made my spirit soar! well written shapirta!

[Botania]

This writing describes what being a bird would feel like. Imaginative.

[Kevin Manson]

A very nice and uplifting piece. 8/10

[Shapirta]

thanks! =)

[Sindu]

As exciting as the blue far streching skies to soar in! Pure joy!!

[Ashira Macy]

I love how uplifting your words are in this. You could literally be talking about flying, or simply soaring high in your goals. Great work my friend.

[Shapirta]

i tried to make it like that!

[Regina K. Pride]

Beautifully simple. I liked your positive message. I thought you could possibly break the poem into two stanzas instead of one. Here are some other minor suggestions:

push off the cold, hard ground
spread your wings
see what you can do
soar over the skies
on top of the world

you are on top of the world -> cut "you are"
you have control
break free -> add "so" before "break"
into the pure exhilaration

Good job! :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Well now I'm inspired..............