Hollow

-Hollow-

Trying to forget
That im dying ,yet
My dreams are unfulfilled,
Such a sad existance billed.
No do-overs I'm afraid,
Just go for it! she said.
Where were you back when I had a chance
and didnt know it?
-can't advance.
I'm stuck waiting, Such torment.
Longing for a moment to shine;
In my pockets a hollow victory; you're mine.

Reviews

[Quiet Child]

love it! conveys a lot of emotions and their versatile, as in they can float either way. emotions i mean. i also like the rhyming

[Inda]

Thank you; this has been recieved at both ends as good and bad, but its cool. We write to get responses; no matter if positive or negative. Having said that i am glad you liked it.

[Quiet Child]

i do! its wonderful, keep it up..

[Baby Ricochet]

Got some good rhymes. Conveys a message. Not bad

[Inda]

Thanks. Glad you liked it.

[Inda]

Would love some feedback on this.

[Adam Whitworth]

this is particularly bad.there's no shame in quietly deleting crap and moving on to better things, I've done it many many times :)

[Inda]

Lol what's so bad about it really?