Boy and Girl {2}

An online conversation between a broken couple. Boy's perspective.

Girl logs on. 

 

Boy logs on.

 

Girl: hey                                                                                                  She’s online.

 

Boy: hi

 

Girl: how are you?                                                                         Why does she care? I left her.

 

Boy: really good. what about you?                            

 

Girl: great! everything's great!                                                                  Great? How come she’s great? What’s great in her life?

 

Boy: that's good.

 

Girl: yeah.                                                                                  

 

Boy: look, i'm sorry, but I had to leave. i couldn't be with you anymore.       Not a lie.

 

Girl: No, it's okay. I understand.                                             

 

Boy: Are you sure?                             Everything can’t be great.

 

Girl: yes.

 

Boy: stop lying.                                                           

 

Girl: What?                                                                 

 

Boy: I know you. I know you're not okay.                  I still know her.                 

 

Girl: Fine. I'm not okay, and I don't understand why you just left me! you didn't even say goodbye!

 

Boy: I know. I'm sorry.                                           What else can I say? I can’t tell her I regret it . . . what if she asks me to come back? I can’t do that. I had to get away. 

 

Girl: why didn't you say goodbye?                                           I couldn’t see you cry. I knew you’d cry.

 

Boy: it would've been too hard. breakups are messy.              

 

Girl: you're just a coward.                                                                                Am I? 

 

Boy: I know.                                                                                                    I am. 

 

Girl: come home. i still love you.                     Please. Don’t tempt me.

 

Boy: i can't. i've met someone else.                        Anything to keep her from wanting me back. She’s too good for me.

 

Girl: but i love you. 

 

Boy: i knew that when i left. it changed nothing.                             

 

Girl: give me a second chance.                 I wish I could.

 

Boy: i'm sorry, but i have to go.                                                          

 

Girl: no! stay!                                                           Please. Stop making this harder than it has to be.

 

Boy: i really am sorry.                                                                              And I still love you too.

 

Boy logs off. 

 

Girl: i am, too.                                                                             

 

Girl logs off.

 

 

Author's Note

this is the boy's perspective in an online conversation with a girl he used to date. i used to have it as him being a total jerk and uncaring about how badly he hurt her, but i decided to change it. it didn't sit right with me. here he still cares, but for unknown reasons, he can't come back. i like this version much better.

Reviews

[Warrior]

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Great visuals and great story telling. It had plot and substance. When you add substance to writing it gets that much better. It gets the reader hooked on it and make them feel as if they are part of it. As long as their is that emotional connection between the reader and the story then it's good. The connection you were able to established in the writing gives the reader a sense of comfortably that they are in tune with the writing. So that way when the writing is over, the reader wants more, and wishes it didn't end. I feel the same way when I watched a movie or tv series that I get so attached to, I never want it to end. And for this writing, I didn't want it to end. You had me hooked, and I am sure everyone else who read it was hooked as well. That is good, that is what you want for people to keep wanting more. The way you put the story together makes me feel like my life is different for that moment in which I read your story. I love it, and it was beautiful. Just keep posting stories like this, and you'll have a good following.

[Sarah E. Pearson]

Really sad, but yes, nicely done, i know a few guys who are like this. he sounds like a ****. lol. i liked this. nice way to show both sides of a story!!

[KAREN]

Nicely done, but really sad.

[TheKaylaPup]

it is way to harsh emma, yeah, some guys are like this, but... any way, if that were really how he felt, he probably would have ignored her when she said hi.

[Dezzyray]

i don't hate the guy in the story but he does sound mean. excpet i sorta think in some ways he is right

[Jenni-Chan]

it's still really sad. :(

[Ness of Love]

I'm mad at the dude! But you illustrated what he was thinking really well. This one and the first one are both good.

[Jasmine Thousand]

Awww, it's so sad... I see you made both what the girl and boy were thinking! Too bad you can't feature two stories at once. Once again, excellent. Wow, htat boy lies a LOT!
~Jasmine Thousand~

[Jennifer]

So sad

[KT]

Awesome!! I kinda lol'd when he thought 'oh crap', cause I think everyone does that at some point when they're in a mood. :) He did sound a little harsh, but it was really good anyway! :D