Long Nights

Death ends a life, not a relationship. ~ Robert Benchley

Dozing now and then

the sound of hissing, beeping

murmured voices in the corridor

constant drip of glucose

waiting out the hours

knowing the end

will come

 

Listening to the dark

yet listening for your

exhausted breath sounds

which, of course, all the time knowing

those too will end

keeping time with your breathing

willing my life force into you

knowing that’s futile

 

Watching your face

obscured by tubes and tape

yet you look peaceful

my insides are not at peace

knowing what must be done

preparing to step up

and fulfill your wishes

to turn the switch from on to off

 

Wondering if your new neighbourhood

will be quiet and peaceful

will you miss me and what we’ve enjoyed

will your loved ones be waiting

will you carry memories with you

will you be able to see past the curtain

will you hear me when I speak to you

will you meet me when my time comes

 

Exhaling standing

wrapping my arms around you

kissing you for the last time

whispering my love into your ear

nodding my permission fulfilling your wish

silence from the hissing and beeping

feeling your spirit being released

as your body grows heavy

 

Standing at my post

taking in your scent for the last time

in the silence that comes with death

not caring who witnesses

for there is no room for shame

tears flow with such raw emotion

yet grateful for my chest wall

otherwise, my shattered heart would litter the floor

 

 

 pen & ink on paper MCS

Author's Note

Respecting my father’s wishes was, without question, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Reviews

[Relic]

This is really moving to read. I took care of my father until he died. It was a terrible time in my life.
Great writing here.

[K. Louis]

I like the way this deals with the complexity of emotions surrounding end-of-life-care without trying to simplify or resolve them. It's really honest about the difficulty of making tough decisions. The love and grief are palpable. The last image the heart feeling like it would litter the floor if not held together by the chest wall..that's a really powerful expression of grief.

[MCS]

KL, I apologize for this late response. Somehow I missed your comment. Thank you for reading and sharing your feedback always appreciated.

[K. Louis]

No worries MCS. Hope you are doing well.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Long nights'
MCS,
The same layers of time which make up your relationship with this dear one's time untill their passing seem to be relayed with the same care in above stanzas. What do any of us know about what is on, "the other side?' Your beautiful thoughts and thoughtful actions seen are encouraging to me. We are all so mortal. Thank your for writing your own lovely and heartfelt honest piece.
Blessings,
Kathy

[MCS]

Kathy, thank you for coming by and reading. "The other side" the not knowing is overwhelming at time.

[ron]

This is a sad and heartfelt poem. Well written.

[Sami Khalil]

"wrapping my arms around you

kissing you for the last time

whispering my love into your ear

nodding my permission fulfilling your wish

silence from the hissing and beeping

feeling your spirit being released

as your body grows heavy "

A very nice poem. I like those lines the most...Bravo