Distinct Malfunction.

You say i'm not worth it

i'm struggling to hold on

my future had you right by my side

yet you refuse to have such a dream

you refuse to be with me

i'm struggling to hold on

you say i'm a mess

and a sham

you say i'm pathetic

lost

careless

stupid

hopeless

and a failure

my hand clutches my sides as i realize there is no hand of yours to hold in my dreams

there is a heart to slay

a soul to demolish

and a memory to be destroyed

i curse your name, wish every sin upon your existence

and wish it all away two minutes later.

i loved you too much

and cared too much

to watch you fall

and push a smile

you can't see it

i won't let you see it

no one will see it

but i'm struggling to hold on.

Author's Note

its a quick one that i just kind of jotted down, very rough and just really sentences i thrashde upon my keys. i'm just curious, opinions?

Reviews

[chloe cruz]

This was really great! I mean, it may not have flowed really well in some parts, and sure it was rough, but some poems are really good that way. Hey, it's a writer's style sometime. It's different. Edgy. Great job, once again! Talk to you later- mail me.

Chloe.

[Sheila Kline]

It is somewhat "defragmented", but the idea of it is easily grasped. Keep working at it as it has potential to be better. You have the idea of what you want to say....just piece it together a bit. You do have some wonderful lines in it!...there is a heart to slay, a heart to demolish...ZING!

[Jason]

This is truly deep and full of emotion. I love the way you just opened up your soul and spilled it into poetry. "I loved you too much, and cared too much to watch you fall" So open and bluntly to the point, but so very deep at the same time. I think it is a wonderful display of artistic emotion...thank you so much for sharing.

Jay

[Aekmy]

The flow is a little rough, but with practice and an overlook this could be smoother. Great job though.

-Maria

[Emma.]

some parts don't flow as well as others, but all in all, this is a great poem. keep it up. (: