The Bully Reads Me His First Poem

D'you like it?
his eyes dart
hummingbird traces around
inside his head.
I lick my lips, shove hands in
pockets, make myself small.
He is begging for an answer
so quietly you almost wouldn't
hear it. Nervous energy I can
not stand, and now he's an
electrical fire. I'm stoned.
Well? he pleads, eyes focusing
for a desperate moment before
flirting onwards. I look at his
hands. They're not unlike my own.
His are slender and pale; mine,
slender and somewhat tanned.
It's flawless, _, I say.
He starts, and then begins to grin
in recognition. He does not understand
how backhanded this is.
Out here, he's an animal,
stupid and uncomprehending.
I study again his hands,
wonder at how two people
so similar
could cause each other such pain.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

And then days later when the poet thought the great unwashed had finished smearing filthy hands over the alabaster curves of his creation another post arrives. Just another reader with five minutes to spare and an opinion to complete the unmatched paring of his possessions.

Of course it's wonderful. How could I say otherwise? Yes, I'm threatened. I admit it, and at the risk of Aesopian varietal tart grapes I insist that I never thought of myself as poetic anyway. Well, I don't now anyway. "Two people so similar". That has a nice thought to it - a thought that corkscrews its barbs into the gray jello of the head.

Well done.

[itsnoteoin]

thank you, friend. :)

[CD Campbell]

I liked it. Far greater reviewers have said what's on my mind. CD

[W.k.kortas]

Soemtimes we wound with the pen, and sometimes it with the sword, or perhaps a qucik right to the cheekbone. Utterly cinematic in its rendering, highly visual stuff.

(As an aside, I would have gone with the "it's the finest poem of its kind" non-committal banality.)

[itsnoteoin]

as usual, I'm in your debt. :)

[snowman]

Just wow! you got a beautiful mind and knows exactly how to put feelings into words

[itsnoteoin]

flattering beyond flattering. thank you. :)

[Emily B]

wow! you picked an amazing moment to wander into my horizon

you may be older than your years

[Mashairi]

Huh. What an interesting piece. I liked it a lot; definite favorite ^^