Rain

a poem about the rain

The rains dance,

Slashing with cold and wet,

The winds sway

Slapping your face like, a cruel, hard glove,

The cut of a knife when it hits your bare skin,

It's relentless,

Slapping you over and over again,

Every step is another walk towards death,

The rain's stop,

You look up,

An umbrella is above you,

You best friend is smiling at you,

Saying, "You looked cold."

:)

 

Author's Note

This is my first real poem. What do you think of it?

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Awe this was a cute poem in my opinion. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing :)

[Sasha]

Aww, that's a cute little ending. I can see what you were trying to do at the start of the poem. You wanted to make the rain sound cruel and dangerous (which is a perspective I rarely see on it, living in FL), but there were a few times you used the same descriptor. It slapped you and a few lines later, it slapped you again. I would say try to switch it up in the future - even if it's just the word used. Let it slap you in the second line and throw tiny punches in the fifth. Know what I mean?

Other than that, this is really good for a first time poem and the twist at the end was too adorable.

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

I like it :) great meaning. Keep writing! I can't wait to see your next piece

[Marie Harrison]

I liked it. Seems like the real rain. Just when it seems it can't get worse, suddenly it stops and the sun pops out! Keep writing, this is a great start.