Away

 No one is around

 when a cry for help is heard.

 They all dissapear

 and no one knows where.

 

 They leave behind possesions.

 The one's that makes them human.

 Not caring for their going.

 Away from home they know.

 

 They travel many miles

 Searching for the place.

 They take their phone to dial

 Numbers before they're erased.

 

 Away they go,

 home they go

 Home where they now belong.

 

Reviews

[Sarah]

Hm, this is really interesting and kinda creepy in a way. o= I liked it & think it has a lot of potential! :) The only thing that I'd work on is making sure the meter isn't off anywhere - particularly in the second to last stanza, it was a little distracting. But your words and ideas are so unique, I'm impressed. =)

[Lucifer Jones]

I liked it! Has an angst to it thats very real(as opposed to the angst most attemp to relate). Well done.

[D Kupisiewicz]

Hi Mirui, I'm not really the right one to critique poetry.
I don't usually read it, and don't have a clue how to write it.
It is really nice though and I think the font was a great choice.

[Bud]

This is a unique perspective...I like it. It causes the imagination to come alive and paint vivid portraits. It, also makes the mind engage in deep thoughts. Great work!

[Dani]

i like this
the flowing script leaves enough room for a thought process to go on between what we're seeing and what we're reading.
it makes me wonder who 'they' are that's going away.
nice

[Andrew (not Andy, A.J. ..]

Interesting...good poem. I had a little trouble with a line or to, like this one;
"Numbers before they're erased." A little hard to swallow, but I realize it would be hard to change.
Rather strange type, you might want to change it, it's a little hard to read. Good for titles, not that great for whole poems.

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

that is a vry good poem. the txt does help the poem.
i wonder why there was a cry for help...very good

[Ralphy]

Mirui, this is a great write. The creative image is definately there...the home...My imagination can fill in the blanks as I look at a doom race. The first thing I thought of was Quarantined. I must add your writing skills are gathering strenght and the fonts accent the mood. Nice write...


BTW agree with Nicole

[17thWhitePrince]

Interesting indeed
Not bad actually
I wonder why they are leaving in such a rush
Strange
Must be something that forces them to leave in that manner
A good piece :)

[Jinx's Heart]

This sounds as if it were about a traumatic natural disaster taking a family's home away thus making the family having to search for a new "home". Please tell me if I'm wrong. I love the rhythm in this poem. Very nice.

[allonsy_doctor]

Awesome!! So full of detail, and truely amazing!!