The Overweight Me Pt.2

I can't change who I am...or can I? I am tired of being fat and tonight I wrote this.

 

It’s been roughly a year, since I wrote about the overweight me

Sadly, not much has changed, in fact the scale just hit 350

I know it’s not good, no it’s not great

I fear I may have ultimately sealed my fate

I still hate what I see when I look at me

Why is it I haven’t fixed the overweight me?

The motivation should be easy to find

Then why have I not changed my state of mind?

 

It seems like it would be a rather a simple fix

Eat better, no soda, start walking at night, that’s the trick

Yet the downward spiral continues

I do better for a while, then come the lies

You still sticking to your diet? They ask

Of course! I am doing good and staying on task

I am only hurting myself, by being dishonest

If I can’t even be real with me, how can I be real to the rest?

 

I want to do better, in my head I know I am strong

Yet I don’t seem to change, so what is it that’s wrong?

What holds me back from achieving my goal?

I have asked that many times as of late, its taking a toll.

I haven’t come up with an answer

My mental state feels like a cancer

It is slowly killing me, but why is it I can’t stop it

I need some real help. This ride, I want off it!

 

I look to my left and shake my head at the pizza box beside me

Yeah pizza, and what’s this soda too? Way to go fat me.

I know better, yet instead of changing I fall right back

I can blame it on everything but it’s me that’s off track

The time where my clothes didn’t fit should have been a red flag

I haven’t bought new clothes because when I do it’s a real drag

 

The last time I went to buy pants, I remember crying

I felt as though "that should fit me" the labels were lying

What should of fit me, sadly no longer did

I am a becoming mess, I can no longer kid

Whatever I do, I need to act it fast

If I stay fat, I’ll be leaving happiness in the past.

You want to be happy right? I ask myself in the mirror

Of course I do! Then open your eyes and see clearer

 

I am drowning in what I have become

I really should sit and talk to someone

Reach out and find some support

I don’t know where to start, where do I report?

I have no one to talk to about this, and that kills me

I need to let it out before to be blunt it kills me

I have been fat for as long as I have known

My weakness started before I was grown.

Time has come to find my fortitude, find the will

If I don’t change for me, I fear I never will.

 

Writing this feels like a step forward

If I can be real with myself and start to look onward

Who knows what awaits me

Will I finally say goodbye to the overweight me?

Will I have the willpower to actually do it?

Enough is enough it’s time I actually commit!!

Author's Note

Please feel free to review, this is an expression I share and love to hear your thoughts.

Reviews

[Cassie]

I do not know what to say here, I feel you, battling with weight, trying to put the pizza away and avoid temptations is hard and the first step starts with you, acknowledging that there is a problem is the first step to your journey of being whole. Do not lose faith, start by cutting off junk and eat healthy. Drink lots of water too, then exercise a little and before you know it. Those pants will fit and the labels will be right