Butterflies

Feels like the first time! It's odd the thing I do more than anything else (talk) is what I am about to do. I am a little nervous, I feel like a fool. Wrote this to calm my nerves, enjoy!

I feel a little nervous my heart wont rest,
Unfamiliar butterflies fill my chest.
About to talk to her for the first time,
A mess of thoughts running through my mind.
What will she think when she hears my voice?
Will she suddenly, regret her choice?
I'm afraid I'm going to give a bad impression,
I'm in my head, I've got to stop stressing.
I've read her words from various texts,
The thought of her voice had made me a wreck.
I need to calm down, and just relax,
I better lay down before I collapse.
It will be fine, just gotta shake the nerves,
I really am excited to hear that voice of hers.

Author's Note

Written for fun. I am open to thoughts and opinions. I love to hear your thoughts so review if you like. Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[ElizaB]

Hi Joshua,

You really capture those anxieties that surround a new love. To me, this spoke of a first meeting and I could not help but think an online connection/relationship had been formed and this is why neither of you had heard the others voice yet. Isn't somebodies voice a lure?... much like personality and appearance and all those other things we think that matter.

The AABB rhyme scheme creates a steady rhythm throughout the fourteen lines. I like that you have used the form of a sonnet (which was created to communicate love in the first place) to express your emotions. I hope that you keep writing :)

Thanks for sharing,
ELiza

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Joshua... butterflies sip nectar ... so go for the pretty flower... a calming will come over you. Flowers seem to bloom more eloquently when caressed with a loving touch.
truly, Pat

[WillaDanvers]

I am familiar with these feelings, however I feel they could have been... made bolder with a few different words. Over all it is a very good poem, but with a slightly different language palatte this could be an outstanding poem :) Keep writing :)

[Stan Lee]

Ah, the butterflies. I'm definitely no stranger to the feelings you have described here. Then when it's all over we wonder what we were stressing for! :D Great poem Josh. All the best!

[Joshua McNay]

Thanks! Yeah it went pretty well and I am happy. I was glad I wrote this first because I think it relaxed me. Thanks again for the review!

[Ted Kniffen]

I like it Josh. It made me feel what you were going through. The rhymes are good, but the meter is a bit off in spots. Try reading it aloud. Good write.

[Joshua McNay]

Actually thanks to your last review I did read it aloud to myself and it flowed well but it does need a little work. I wrote it pretty quick so I will go back and clean it up and work on trying to tighten up the meter of it. Thank you again for your input I think it is helping me be better, at least I hope so. You help me with the technical side I kind of want to call you Technical Ted haha. Thanks again for the input!

[Ted Kniffen]

I've been called 'Terrible Ted' so 'Technical' is a vast improvement. The 'technical' side of writing is an important tool. We learn from others, that's why we're here.

[Gee]

Each and everyone of us has stood in those shoes. Thank you, enjoyed reading

[Joshua McNay]

Thank you I am happy you enjoyed it!