Its Never Easy

Meho...I'm sorry.

Let me just say,

That I didn't want to do it,

But right now my life is a colorless gray,

I didn't want to break up, but I knew I couldn't commit.

Right now, I can't be around you,

Because I need to figure my own self out.

You added vibrancy to me so that I wasn't so blue,

But I'm still stuck under a dark storm-cloud.

My friends are sad and falling apart,

And I'm quite sad too,

I recently found I have a real problem with my heart,

And those are things I first need to do.

I'm not saying the things I said as a cliche,

Because I know you deserve more than that,

But you're strong and can pave your own way,

So I hope you know what I'm getting at.

This is my apology poem lovingly addressed to my dear meho,

I know all those girls have fallen for you hard, so you have them,

But where we go from here, I don't know,

But from here on out we're probably condemned.

I ask that you forget about me,

And I'll try to forget your honey sweet voice,

And your sensitivity,

Because of what I've done, we have no other choice.

I do love you, Meho, I really do,

But I feel that right now I need to grow up some more

And me leaving only proves,

That maybe this was the last day, that I keep your love in store.

Truly, I am sorry.

Author's Note

About my longtime bf Victor, who I had to break up with because of my health issues. It was an internet relationship, but we really did love each other.

Reviews

[Delaney]

I like the blunt honestly in this poem- there isn't anyone analogies or metaphorical beating around the bush. And I think that is essential for an apology. It is very simple and direct, yet very powerful and is marinated in raw emotion. That is sometimes hard to come by. These days, some people just write and do not even know what they are say. They get lost in the structure and presentation, they loss the meaning, the feeling. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and remember we're living too, and therefore we have flaws and problems. You can reach people better when you present the reality of who you are and what you are writing, rather than how you are writing. Great poem!

Your truly, Delaney

[Riley Bray]

Thanks! I totally agree. ^^

[Shivam Murari]

You put his name in it! I know the pains of Internet relationship Riley. It really seems interesting that we have so many similar pains and joys :)

[Riley Bray]

We must be some sort of carbon copies of each other. xP

[Shivam Murari]

LOL.......

[Lina Grey]

i kinda understand. after a year of a stressful love triangle with my best friend, i got the guy. unfortunately i got him after i'd started dating another guy that i was gaga for, but didn't feel the same about me, so to speak. i found out real quick that i was not mentally ready to commit to a relationship like that, and now, five or six months later, things are finally getting better between the three of us. you're right; it's never easy. it's probably one of the hardest things i ever did, breaking up with this guy. i think this poem of yours describes pretty much all the feelings of it very well. great job hun

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much, and I'm glad you were able to find the time to review me. As I said to Minnie a few reviews down, we women can relate to a lot, can't we? It was really hard to break up with Victor, I've known him about three years now and I've loved him every second of it. I was elated when we started dating a few months ago but I just thought that it wouldn't be fair to him if I couldn't be there for him, so that's why I left. I just wish him the best, you know? And I must say, though I was the one who broke things off, there are always a lot of girls that hang around him and have fallen hard for him so I have to say I'm jealous once again. Oy. Anyway, sorry for the blabbering haha, thanks for the review!

[Lina Grey]

my pleasure :) i always get there, just a little slow, eh. and yeah, we can :P you're jealous hun, because you love him! and if he loves you too, he'll ditch them all for you... or so they say. i know how that goes ;) haha and i don't mind blabbering, i do it all the time!

[Riley Bray]

Haha. Thanks Lina. xP

[Lina Grey]

:)

[Kuro]

Everywhere I go, I find some reference to our past, Lina. :P

[Riley Bray]

Sebastian! You must watch Kuroshitsuji. X3

[Lina Grey]

@Kuroshitsuji, does that bother you?
@Riley, it is her screen name... XD

[Riley Bray]

Psssssssssssh I totally knew that. >_> Sarcasm. ;~;

[Kuro]

I love Kuroshitsuji SO much. I call it Black Butler because I watch it in English, but Kuroshitsuji is more fun :3

[Riley Bray]

Isn't Sebby so kawaiiiiiiii?????? X3

[Kuro]

YESSSSSS HE IS :DDDD I love almost everyone, but especially Sebastian and Grell :3

[Riley Bray]

I. KNOW. RIGHT???? KYAAAA. *Fangirls* And the TRIPLETS? EEEE!!!

[Kuro]

OH MY GOODNESS THEY ARE SOOOOO AMAZING *dies* BUT I WAS VERY CONCERNED AS TO WHY ONE CHILD NEEDS FIVE DEMONS RUNNING AROUND

[Riley Bray]

I KNOW right? I was like: HOW ALOIS? HOW???? I wanted to assemble a group of animals to stampede and trample Alois for being so cocky!!! And I hated Claude for troubling Sebby!!!!

[Kuro]

I love Alois though! I think there's a little bit of him in all of us. But he WOULD certainly deserve to be trampled. XD I hated Claude at first for what he did to Alois and for trying to take Ciel away from Sebby, but then I realized that my hatred was better directed towards Hannah. In the end, the triplets just did as they were told, and Sebby and Claude kind of had to unite against her. I really do not like Hannah one bit ;_;

[Riley Bray]

I like Hannah though!!! Hannah is the reason that Ciel is immortal now!!! (And also leaves the possibility for the rumored season three), although I am EXTREMELY furious with Hannah for the same reason because now Ciel and Lady Elizabeth won't get married!!!!

[Kuro]

True, I will give her credit for that. I cried and squealed when I saw that Sebby and Ciel are literally stuck together forever. XD I feel really really bad for Elizabeth. I don't think Ciel ever loved her as much as she loved him, which is already sad, but she'll never know what truly happened to him and that just makes it worse. AND IF THERE IS A SEASON THREE I WILL DIE BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CAN ANYMORE. I wonder what Sebby and Ciel would do in season 3? They literally have all the time in the world :P If there IS a 3rd, Grell must come back.

[Riley Bray]

Girl, if Grell doesn't come back, there will be A LOT of angry fans literally busting down some doors. xD It is really sad though, because Ciel totally didn't love her as much as she him, you're right. The poor girl was crushed and she's losing him AGAIN, with him still alive, (sort of haha), but purposely avoiding her. That little jerk!!! ;~;

[Kuro]

I would most definitely be one of those fans wreaking havoc. Grell is the male version of me. We both have green eyes and red glasses and I think we have the same personality. XD Nevermind how we both feel about Sebastian. In the fanfiction I write about me and a friend of mine, Grell and I are always best friends. We get into the occasional slap fight over who gets Sebby or who looks better in a dress, but other than that, we're twins. XD Sebby would dislike me for that. ;P As far as Lizzie goes, I hope she doesn't reappear in season 3. I don't want it to break her heart when she finds Ciel alive (because you know their paths will cross again if she comes back). I think she'd accuse Ciel of running out on her and abandoning her. And even if she believed the truth, I don't think she'd be able to keep it a secret. She's just one of those difficult characters.

[Riley Bray]

Yah, I agree haha. I think the character I'm most like is Mey-rin, the maid/vampire/sniper. xDDD We're both clutzy and we both have a major crush on Sebby. I'm also awesome at archery and so she and I are literally sisters haha. I would be captain of a pro-Grell raid!! XD I agree Lizzie shouldn't come back, the poor girl.

[Kuro]

...vampire??? 0__0 She's so cool!!! When they revealed that she was a sniper towards the end of season one it literally stunned me. But then it was cool when she just whipped out guns and started shooting up Alois's costume party. XD If you're captain, I wanna be co-captain!!! :DDD I love Grell so much X3 I kind of hope the series doesn't continue. The way I see it is, season one ended the way it was supposed to and season two ended the way the fans wanted it to. It's literally perfect as it is. *fangirling*

[Riley Bray]

That's totally true! And yeah, all of Ciel's servants are vampires except the old guy I can't remember the name of. xD Well, technically Finni is actually gentically altered, but Baldo and Mey-rin are vampires. X3 Okay, you've been inducted into the Grell-is-the-second-most-awesome-man-in-black-butler club as co-captain!!! X3 I want the series to continue. I agree it ended perfectly but I'm greedy and want to see where they could go with a third season, not to mention see more of my Sebby-kun.

[Kuro]

There can never be too much Sebastian and Grell. And thank you captain! *salutes* It's very sad that Claude won't be back though. Like I said, at first I hated him. But he grew on me T-T But we can always bring the Triplets back!!!! :DDDDD

[Riley Bray]

Girl we're rioting if the triplets don't come back. XD

[Lina Grey]

OH GOD FANGIRLS

[Riley Bray]

Haha you bet Lina!

[Lina Grey]

XD at least you're having fun...

[Riley Bray]

Haha exactly!!

[Kuro]

SOOOOO much fun! XD I made a new friend :DDD

[Lina Grey]

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!! XD

[Riley Bray]

Woop woop~!!!! XD :D

[Phillitup]

This is extremely sad, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I would say I understand but I don't and I won't lie and say that I want to know how it feels because I don't. I'll just leave you with sorry. I know it does nothing and sometimes makes it worse but it's all I have to offer...sorry :(

-Dell

[Riley Bray]

Thank you for your apology, but there is no reason for you to be sorry, it wasn't your fault, nor was it Victors, it was mine. I think everyone goes through this at some point in their life, on both sides, but I still wouldn't wish it on my greatest enemy. Thank you very much for the review. :)

[Phillitup]

I know I didn't do anything but I still feel as if I should apologize that you have had to go through this.

[Riley Bray]

That's very considerate of you. :)

[Phillitup]

:)

Would you mind reading and reviewing my latest poem for me? Thanks!!!!

[Riley Bray]

Sure I can. ;)

[Phillitup]

:) thanks for the review!

[Riley Bray]

Of course!!

[Savior of Time]

Aw, I'm sorry. :( Just a note, it's spelled mijo. Spanish is my thing, sort of. Anyway, I liked it. I'm sorry about what happened. I can't lie and say that I know what it's like, but I hope you feel better.

-Willa

[Riley Bray]

Haha actually meho is a name he and I came up for each other, so its not actually a word. :P I really like spanish too, I'm in honors classes for it in school. And anyway, thanks for reviewing and trust me, you'll probably go through something like this one day as well, but I'll stick around for you if you need me!

[Savior of Time]

Oooooooooooooooooh. Okay. I probably will go through a few, if I even get another boyfriend in the future.. -.-

-Willa

[Riley Bray]

Aye, you will. Just a sprinkle of self-confidence and you are all set!

[Savior of Time]

HA! I have no confidence. :P

-Willa

[Riley Bray]

And therein lies your problem missy~!!!!

[Savior of Time]

Yerp :P

-Willa

[Riley Bray]

Haha.

[minnie:)]

I'm just gonna say I know how you feel, it's hard to let go of someone you love. It's also hard to forget about them. Same thing happened to me, I fell in love with someone and I had to leave him. :( I hope you can feel better.

[Riley Bray]

Thanks for the review and kind words, I have a feeling us girls on this site can relate to a lot. :)

[minnie:)]

Agreed :)

[Horizon K.]

Really well written, and there is a lot of maturity in your words. It is never easy to explain to someone the whole "its me and not you," but we see what we see in ourselves and others, and when we can see clearly, it is hard to deny what is the right thing to do. So, good for you girl.

[Riley Bray]

I agree, its not. Thanks haha. Thanks for the review as well. :)

[William C Jones III]

This is really good. I can tell you're a living prodigy. The sorrow and forgiveness in this poem I understand but on the otherhand..... speechless and awe.

[Riley Bray]

Thank you so much, I was nervous about this one. :)

[William C Jones III]

Don't be nervous just know that you're gonna make mistakes along way, but know that there's a person who'll help you create your day

[Riley Bray]

I suppose that's true. Thank you for your wisdom.

[William C Jones III]

no problem ^^