Sunrise Song

Fill me up
Remind me I'm whole
Adam has his rib
Eve has her soul
Gone in a flash.
I can't despair...
for every morning the sunrise is there

Reviews

[Eichendorff]

It's really short and sweet. What do you mean by Adam and Eve? How are they connected to the sunrise?

[jesserose99]

Good question! I was filled up and made whole by myself...but also a partner in this poem...who was gone in a flash...but it was ok, because life moves on and the sunrise was still there in the morning. Maybe it would be clearer as 'he fills me up, reminds me I'm whole'..I love a good critique that makes me think. Thank you friend! let me know what you think about that little revision if you get time.

[Eichendorff]

Ah ok, so you mean there was a man, but now he is gone? But still the sun rises?

[jesserose99]

yes..you got it. Im glad you reviewed this, because it is kind of ambiguous. Thank you!

[Lydia Shutter]

Uplifting thoughts and the staccato lines rhyme smoothly. I liked it. Lydi**

[jesserose99]

Thanks Lydia!

[Jimmy Yetts]

Hopeful and inspiring.
An impressive bit of work!

[Nadia_2]

Wow, gorgeous poem! Well done!

[jesserose99]

Thank you so much!

[andrew mitchell]

I think the flow of this rhyme certainly lets the sunshine in!

[kcalel825]

short and meaningful... i admire this poem

[jesserose99]

thank you for reading!