"In The Eyes Of Many" Intro

I'm writing a book called "In the Eyes of Many" This is the Introduction, please if you read it comment and let me know what you think. Any feedback is great. Thanks so much

In the eyes of many, I’m just a normal girl. In the mirror, I can see what they mean, but in my mind, I’m so much more than that. They don’t know my secret. Nobody does. Here is my secret: I am a dream traveler. Being a dream traveler might sound ridiculous, but I can go anywhere, anytime I close my eyes.

As for dream traveling it is pretty cool because I can travel to any country, city, state or to another planet. In doing this, my body stays right where it is, but my spirit or my soul some may say, travels to where I need it to be. I’ve been able to do this basically forever. I remember particularly the day that I got really sad, when my father passed away, when I fell asleep, I was in a happy place. My favorite animal, my elephant that I call Ollie is always there with me.

This is very interesting to have at times, because when I am upset, I can visualize anything I want and be there.  If I’m having a bad day, I come home from school, close my eyes, and go to my happy place.

When this is happening, I actually feel like I’m there, not like you do when you’re in a dream.

I like to go to my happy place quite often actually. What people don’t understand  is that I get abused at home. My step father becomes drunk and it’s all downhill from there. My mom is reliant on him for financial support so we can’t leave.  

My real father passed away when I was eleven, my mother hasn’t told me why. I just know he was in the hospital for a long time.

I don’t like to tell anyone about Jared, my step dad, being abusive, not even my boyfriend of four years, Darren because of what might happen. If I were to tell someone it is scary because they might not know what to do about it then Jared would think that I am trying to get him locked up which would cause him to hurt me and/or my mother, so for now, unless things get too bad, I just won’t say anything at all, it’s not worth it to me.

Author's Note

This is the intro to my book. Any feedback is greatly appreciated and will be taken into consideration. Please enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.

Reviews

[Relic]

When you say happy place, do you mean as in meditation?

This was well written and slightly dramatic because of the revelation over your step-father. Men like that should be put away for good.

[FaeryQueen]

this is great, if you add some insight to your dream travelling idea, that would be nice!

[Jessica Ryan]

Thank you, I'm going to expand on dream traveling for sure

[Samuel Dickens]

I think you're off to a very good start. The writing is smooth, well paced, and mostly error-free. Maybe a missing comma or two, but that's about it. I know we often base our stories on real life, so I hope there's no or little truth in this one, for your sake.

[Jessica Ryan]

Hi Samuel,

Thanks so much for the feedback. I used to live in an abusive household, it was awful but luckily, we got away from that. Thanks again