I will always stick to when i decide.

Since i knew i was accountable, i took the part in serious. 

My father took VRS voluntary retirement, so i didn't said anything, but there was burden on me my siblings responsibilities, as my father couldn't earn any more with bare minimum pension. 

I was rejected twice visa to USA, my family was prime important to me. i was forced by few to get marry, well i was not satisfied with what degree i had  i couldn't find right job, so i was waiting patiently cried in my loneliness, my sister thought i am not getting married because she felt i am in love with my classmate, she scolded me why you are not getting married, I only know what pain i was going through because of not right job, my sister got job in campus placement though studied in private college which is not even top like my college, she cracked interview, but i couldn't do well in my interview. 

But patiently i waited for my pain that i should get visa to USA, i had hope i will definitely get visa, i humbly requested my dad that i dont want to get married now i want to do MS, then i will get good job. He allowed me to try. 

Luckily i got visa in 2006, all my sufferings gone, i know that if i go to USA i will definitely get job so before i graduate i got job, and graduated in 1.5yrs with research assistantship, without working parti time, i finished my MS with a GPA of 3.83. 

Then i helped my family slowly to have a flat, and then elder sister wedding and then one more sister for MS in USA and also my younger brother got job in Hyderabad. slowly problems solved. 

But that period of 2005 to 2006 December, was a hell to me, without settlement, whatever small jobs i did, people yelling why i am not getting married still burden to family, but my inner heart helped with my patience. 

Similarly was the time when i got divorced in 2015, left alone till 2016, a new hope arose but that too fell me apart from my son, left USA, without job, no place to live other than my parents, home, the man who was with me, couldn't do anything, i felt like where should i go now, even that place that taught me strength to live no more allowing  me to stay, with depression, the man i hoped for no message, no chat, no talk. I was completely left alone, with no hope, in that tough time i found job, tried to stay in rental home, that was also temporary, then all of a sudden i fell apart with my break down, i lost my job, then forced to go home, took break but without hope for new life with him, i thought  he is no more coming to me, i thought my son is fine with his dad, he will definitely take care of my son. 

then came to know he got married, 

them tried all means to see my son, F1 B1 H1b, i didnt rest myself, i thought i should stay with my son, what is that i am living here without him and my son, 

i struggled hard to see my son, lived there, again i was dragged down here, 

I am just repeating this story of my life only to inspire few, make right decisions, don't ever think of breaking families, realise your mistakes, tough situations come, patience only will teach you, never stop doing right, 

i didn't earn much money no savings, but i am in a position to earn to feed my tummy a place to live. 

to this point, i could do justice to my parents and siblings, to my son, and i am not angry on the man who taught me dare and to live happily and love truly. I still love that man, and i am not angry on his family too for the decisions they took for him, 

So still i feel it is my family, somehow i feel responsible to the family, he doesn't mean he doesn't marry why should i think of him, i loved him and i know he loves me too and feel responsible to me, and he cant be away from me for a second though miles away. He has not given me anything but i gave all my life to him and he is my family. When that family is suffering, it is my responsibility to be supportive in tough times to Triune, i stand beside my sister-in-law, though i may not support in Any way i pray to God give her strength to handle the toughest times and make the business to go with good time. 

Now i feel this is my third responsibility, to think of his family. I thought i will live rest of my life with my son near to him, but i think i am doing something wrong leaving my family without doing anything to the family, at least i care and pray and wishes come true with sincere prayers, people may lose hope in god but God will never neglect his devotees, there might be delay in getting good times but it will always happen. 

so i wish my dear family, its just matter of time, never lose hope sometimes it takes more hard work and patience, and we have to be smart and do good. 

I wish my family recovers from this tough time, i will stay here in india, watching removing all hurdles by praying to God, 

trust me,

Jessy Jacob,