I am alone, but everyone has one or the other....

Maybe if i see every other has someone with them, 

i think God cursed me to stay alone

my parents are together lying on single bed

my grand mother has her kids staying with them

he has got his wife

his mother has her daughter

his sister has her husband 

even his father buried with his parents

no one is alone

why i am alone then

my son has his father

Is i am so damn sinful being to be cursed by everyone to stay alone

how much i cried for my family to settle better

how much i wished for my wedding left with divorce

how much i loved my son left alone him far 

how much i cared him, he away with his wife

why mother goddess why you made my life so sinful to stay alone

no happiness

 what for i am earning

what i should i do

so far i cared for so many but no one is with me 

i am only worried about others and they are left with families

what is this life 

even beggars have some company

when will i meet my shiva, which is my death departing this body at least  i will be feeling together with him

do i need this life

i feel so scared

i feel so alone

i feel so worried

i feel so cursed by every being, 

never i cared for bad 

never  i wished for death of innocent

i wished good for good people

why in this life  i am left alone

i know he wished and wanted me to stay alone

so blocked all my ways 

i think now he is happy seeing me alone

why amma why i am suffering

even lonely star has company in this sky 

why i am left alone

this life is hurting

when it would end my life

i dont wish to live

i am done with this life

i wish and welcoming my death....

o death take me with you and show me my shiva who will never leave me alone anymore......

Missing you so much kanna, my husband....

jessy jacob...