I felt i was stuck, but not, i felt i lost but not...... truly I adore him.

i thought i could never talk to him, 

seriously when i was thinking i could never talk to him

and it used to make me hurt deeply, why he doesn't talk to me

he talks to every other but not to me

many a times i felt like crying why you dont talk to me

Eventually God has seen my pain

he knows i am missing him badly, 

suddenly a message pops up

it makes my eyes to see does he or someone else

even though my eyes sees his name and a message from his name.

he thinks he dont need to teach me, feels i know 

better than him, but unknowingly or intentionally 

he made me learn many a thing like missing, 

i never missed any other than him, he likes to play 

a lot making people missing him, but it is much hell 

with me, he is too conservative in showing off his love,

maybe he doesnt know how to love me by expressing

with a generation gap between us, he thinks why you want to know what more 

i have to do to make you feel my love, i assume but he feels actually

thinking she knows it. 

I felt if i could give my love to him, he will be safe, a thought made me 

not to worry about my son and do anything for him. 

I respect and it is known to anyone respect should be earned, and it is not just given away thing.

When i was in his control i felt more secured, never felt something wrong is going on, 

though something was going around, but i had trust in him, he will make it better. 

With that hope, i did everything for him.

when he left thinking we are going into much deeper thoughts which isnt necessary, 

he made me to come back, for a second when he left me it hurted me why he made me to be alone

divorces, marriages nowadays a piece of cake in a bakery shop, to buy one or other.

Two reasons i didnt like with my x husband, are when he didnt wanted to remarry and never to have one more child, and another is marrying someone whoever it is, like buying a cake if not a brownie. 

I believed to love and to be loved by someone, is a great gift by God, 

that very few people find that love, so i wanted him for my wish to marry God, and

feel his love, so i wished and went for him, it made me to take a wrong step in the middle of life,

though he wanted me but i went crazy in his love for his blink less eye stare at me. 

he just wanted me to feel him, see him, love him, i never thought why he needs me but only felt how deeply he loves me

thought he just loves me and never will cheat me or leave me. this confidence i had in him, 

and he proved so to be what i thought of him. 

I never thought he keeps himself out of life with me, i never thought this on the day i got my divorced stamp. 

he did all his fun, playing around funnily, that made me not to get angry though he did wrong to me. 

Trust people say it takes time, why a girl like me would fall for him at the very first time seeing, 

but that wasnt with him, he never needs his introduction to tell about himself and just think am i not looking handsom to think about me. Is it that everything you need from me, i thought, then why you are still struggling fighting inside just 

burning your heart for me, this is just what i wanted from you, and i know you are such kind when i came to in that second, i didnt worry and never thought i need to take permission of my X husband or my parents, for divorce or remarrying you. 

I wasnt rude to them (x husband or parents) but only felt in my heart that i am doing right and he is my right person for my soul. 

I never thought people would test my honesty putting me in their shoes and wanted to see how I am going to react to their situations.

If this was the prophecy that God arrived to bear problems of people and get judgement or forgiveness from his Almighty Goddess, then that Goddess did go through that pain, and could save her God and his disciples, never to do wrong and there is no other alternative to survive if you repeat it again. But people cross questioned God itself, and her judgement, and cursed them and proved them both God and Goddess are bullshit, mad and looks fool alike to each other. Then we both smiled, and started thinking whom we are saving, saving ourselves from Demons hands or people who are cunning. 

Both of us thought we stick to our law and do good. We continued doing it till now, and the time has come now, for my God what is the best judgement when those cunning people put him again in bad situation, where it would damage his worth. Will Goddess let him do wrong, then what is the wrong here, divorce or loving me?? it is difficult to think but we both decided what may come, end of the world, we will never do wrong, and our kids must hail in this world, so we suicided ourself like crucified like of Jesus, being Loin and lioness we arrived in 2012, the end of world was never to happen, life should survive and we kept our love so true that it protected us from darkness that would have drown us in storms.... 

Earth is safe we are together as Wife and Husband, what is it needed a thali (sacred thread) to tell I am wife or sindoor on my forehead which my father-in-law already showed to this world that I am Jessy Jacob and part of Jacob's family, and my husband is Jacob Jr. II 

I am part of him and he knows he will not be without me, his better half. 

See the fun, 

what world may see in this year, 

never fear nor insecure, or be jealous because that eats you away though it looks you are eating 

Jessy Jacob, 

with Love, 

ever and more ever life with him....