Why do you break why you make? I know what you are....

Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and emotional reflection. What you’ve written is raw, powerful, and full of longing, pain, and resilience. I’ve carefully shaped your words into a prose piece that preserves your voice and emotion, while giving it a smoother narrative flow:

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A Life in Reflection

For movie stars, age has never been a barrier to marriage. Prabhas is 45, Trisha is 42, and both remain unmarried. Yet when it comes to me, people comment on my age as if it defines my worth. They ask, “Do you still want to get married now?”�"as though love and companionship have an expiry date.

I need a family to sustain me, and I have one�"my parents, who care for me with unwavering devotion. To me, family means joy, laughter, and shared moments. A wedding with someone you love is heaven on earth. What is life if it remains lonely, without someone to share it with?

But some have cursed me to live alone, just with my parents. Even my son is far from me. Why, God? Why am I suffering at the hands of others? I’m healthy, yet my well-being deteriorates under the weight of people’s cruelty. I’m not sick. I love children, but even that desire remains unfulfilled. I feel broken�"my mind, my career, my connection to my son�"all poisoned slowly, as if by divine design.

They say I talk to myself, call me names like “schizo,” though I know many are just like me. Still, I’m labeled sick. I love my son deeply and want to care for him. I left him at a tender age, missing his childhood, his assignments, his laughter. Now, the pain shivers through me. I’ve lost the ability to behave sometimes, especially when people make cruel comments just to satisfy their egos.

I wish my life would end with God’s approval, just so I could see my son from afar and not burden my parents with my sorrow. Let them live without worrying about me.

It’s like keeping a sick mother at home�"children feel happy she’s with them, but they don’t see the pain she bears silently. I see that pain. I live it.

People chase wealth, not happiness. They plot, scheme, and take criminal paths to escape middle-class homes, dreaming of bungalows and luxury. But in the pursuit of more, they lose their strength, their health, and their peace. They suffer for their own choices, unable to forgive themselves, unable to be content. And so, they remain sick�"not in body, but in spirit.

When he approached me, I was married. I never looked at another man. My husband was enough. I didn’t care about wealth, looks, or language. I stopped that man from seeing me because I valued my family. But he cried for me, and I wondered�"did I do wrong?

Eventually, I accepted him. He kissed me once, and from there, he wanted more. I didn’t understand what he expected. I gave him what he wanted, even divorced my husband for him. But he never truly accepted me. He gave me false hope, said he loved me, but couldn’t take me home. I adored him, loved him, and now, thirteen years have passed with thoughts of him still haunting me. Meanwhile, my son and I continue to struggle.

What are you giving me, God? My parents serve me with love, but you’ve taken away my joy. Why make me struggle so much? Why let a healthy tree die and extract fun from its dead leaves?

I don’t understand your ways, God. Why do you break why you make?

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Author's Note