MY life has been at the expense of others But my God hold me with Him.

During my school years, I was devoted to my studies. I never cared much for dressing up�"I was simple, wearing just three outfits throughout college. I postponed my fun, telling myself that once I got a job, I would finally enjoy life.

But when I started working, my focus shifted again. I was intent on saving money and preparing for marriage. Fun was postponed once more, tucked away behind responsibilities and dreams of a settled life.

After marriage, I had glimpses of joy, but they were fleeting. My husband was a simple man, yet his anger had a sharpness that could silence me instantly. So I let go of my fun again, choosing obedience and quiet over conflict.

Then came the divorce. I found myself alone�"not just without companionship, but without joy. I cried out to God, asking why He wasn’t with me. In those moments, I felt abandoned, questioning everything.

Now, in this middle stage of life, people look at me and assume I’m finished. They wonder why I still cling to God, as if my time for love and connection has passed. But I ask myself�"don’t I deserve joy too? Everyone in my life seemed to take their share of happiness, often at my expense.

Yet my dear God whispers to me: now, you deserve my heart. He has made me His bride�"not in a way the world can see, but in a sacred, distant bond. I cannot show Him to anyone, but He lives within me, quietly, faithfully.

And in that indetermined love, I find peace.

Jessy Jacob.