My life

My life
When I was born to my parents
I was bounded by my parents
My each decision was their advice

When I married to my x husband
He controlled me everything
My small shopping thing to buy was his choice

When I got divorced
I had my son too crush with me
Our both lives was under control by my x husband and my God.

Now under control of my God I see my life
Roaming cities here and there
But a pool of people also controlling my life

My life was never under my control neither my son's too
It is understood for kids parents make right choice
But my son still missing me and why mom is poor and in India
Why my mom is struggling with her own parents
Why mom is chatting with my God
He is in teens
I raised my son from far without negativity and hiding facts so that he doesn't gets disturbed
But he is my bold son who took pain and embarrassed within himself without sharing pain
Now he thinks my mom will not be with me and he thinks he would stay alone with arguments seen in home would buy a home and stay alone. Now he is in teens already fedup with life and people.

Few decisions entirely changed my life

I see God just asked me to leave my son and be in India
No matter delhi but with my parents so that I don't stay alone and he chose his love of life and got married
He had proved me that he loved me but can't marry for the people around him
I still respected his choice and decision though I was in belief he would marry me
I broke then with his decision and thought he never wanted me later I thought he just wanted me to stay in India.

But now I see I still feel two mistakes he did to me
He hasn't revealed what he thought of me
I was doing what he wanted me to do
He controlled every decision
He and people around me plotted to sleep with another guy, then I listened to him thinking it's guru decision because I never had anyone in my mind but just God... Later I was blamed for that decision I was a b***h can lie with anyone and people blamed i neeed a man to share bed.. ofcourse how much we ignore our emotions hurt us when people blame us.

God approached me again I am your love not a my Wife in society but to ourselves. I agreed

Now he asks me to help him
Asking me just be with my parents and your son is fine..but it is not true if I can't be with my son he will be depressed more because he is understanding things and he may get distracted and disturbed when he was kid he doesn't know what's going on .

Still God insists me to stay with my parents

I just wish let God stay happy and I take care of my son.

Whole thing a woman like me is never independent like a coin in chess board i lived for others and was never with my wish.. people made me to play the life and God too..

I struggled to take care of my son life but God taught me you are under my control.

Jessy Jacob

Reviews

[NikeLB]

There's some interesting repetition in this piece, especially in the beginning when discussing control. The grammar is a bit hard to follow, but you can feel the speaker's frustration with her circumstances.

I wonder, is there a theme to your book? I noticed your chapters range from emotional poetry to analysis of India's economy.

Happy Holidays!

[JessyJacob]

hi,
thank you for reply understanding my struggle, yes my book has a theme which my title of the book says. Chapters include my daily routine and struggle. Its sounds like my autobiography and i write i go through and it is just a modified journal. I could capture in my books for my self help and memoir.

Please drop your reviews, on my other chapters, but i have never written for others, but my write helped me in my self analysis and how i see others and their role in my life. I dont understand why you have selected this chapter to write your review, i see you have some pain. Anyways, with my writings, i could see no growth in writing but it made me a natural poet with my own experiences.

I tried to write poetry but never beed a great write. but i understood what is a poetry and what is a book and how to write a book.


Happy Holidays to you too.

Jessy Jacob.