I help if i can

when someone is suffering, even if that person is stranger 

we dont hesitate to give helping hand, and i am the same

I see when people are intentionally torturing someone

I try to help, 

i am seeing few people want to suffer they dont take any help

and keep suffering, i see they feel their pain is solace too, and never want to take help

if someone helps they reject and block them

these thoughts coming into my mind 

what is this life when it doesnt go as we planned

we strive for without hesitating to take risk, 

and we become toys in someone hands losing everything

when Meera bhai was in love with Krishna, she made

idol worship he was not born during her time

she could live singing songs on Krishna

I am in love with God too, he gave his look how he had been in this life

he talks he comes for me, he is not living with me

he says he is my husband, 

How many times i think when he has got married, i didnt want to disturb him

but another thought prevails and it hurts me the whole life i have to live alone, 

if i think path of Meera bhai, it becomes difficult for me to just see him in idol 

because he is alive in this birth where he talks to me. 

Sometimes it takes strength when people trying to block my own freedom, my friendship, 

i stay suffice with thought that i have my son and my parents and my siblings, and i am not alone. 

But he comes to me and says help me out people are hurting me, then i dont hesitate to help him

people them making me target and hurting me including family and friends. 

Only God knows what i am going through and what he is going through, i dont see people surrounding us 

know our sufferings. 

Actually when i think what is my problem, reason for his suffering is clear.

I am not knowing why i am not bothered about myself, only thinking his sufferings.

I bother about my son too where he is growing and too many thoughts where sometimes it distracts him,

i am doign every possible thing to work out for my son to be fine. 

I did making things to work out for him to be fine with food donation and fasting and reading religious books. 

Hopefully he is rescued from sufferings. 

At some corner, nobody thinks what i am going through and they dont have guts to think about my suffering, yes people say she can take care of herself, she is better, and why need to bother about her. Honestly am I fine? daily is not a day i miss him and my son, tears are drying up, my parents show concern, and noone else care about me. 

He wants to help me but if he starts thinking about me, lady sastry tortures me with pain, yea i can take medicine pain killer, sedative, in a way you are suggesting me to not even to talk to him when he wants. So i decided, to do strict fasting so that sastry stops hurting me and him, and she stays with her family never again coming to my family and hurt us. 

What i can do, i am reading nithya parayana of Guru dhatha charithra. 

I know she is creating problem to us since long time and still continuing and disturbing our lives. I just pray her mind stays in peace and never disturbs us anymore. 

Jessy Jacob. 

Reviews

[JessyJacob]

Now a days , focusing on work is getting difficult, people are torturing more, even medicine is not working, so i stay near to God with fasting only my mother Goddess will help me.