ACHES

''EXPERIENCE''

                               ''ACHES''
                      
                    sweet pies and chocolate candy,
                    cakes,lemon,and strawberry
                    i bite them,and eat them,
                    and the result is a toothache.
                    i didn't see the canteen,
                    i just stared at the food that they prepared,
                    i really just forgot to lunch,
                    and i had a tummy-ache.
                    english,pilipino,and chemistry,
                    h.e,social studies,and geometry
                    health,scouting and y.d.t.
                    are all a headache for me.
                    and then i saw him
                    and my heart went spinning
                    but...with the other girls!
                    oh,ouch!it's a heartache
               

Author's Note

hey my friend,,i wrote what you wanted,,hoped you'll like it:)

Reviews

[bryandc15]

so cute:) I like how you use aches in this piece.....

[Ahmad Cox]

Very cute piece. It has an innocent quality to it.

[Jess]

thanks:)

[CecilA]

khicks'

This is great stuff. Of course you had me at "sweet pies" so that was easy. Never-the-less your "aches" were true to life and relevant to young love. I like that you included school subjects. Very interesting take on life: tooth ache; tummy ache; head ache; and heart ache. Life aches at times.

Great job.

Thanks for sharing your well written poem with us.

Cecil

[Jess]

Cecil,
thanks for reading..glad you liked it,,

[chuna]

I like this so much!
I really love that you relate in all the sides of life,,,
In physical,in mind, and especially in love,,,

very good work!

[Jess]

glad u liked it dude:)

[Frieda P]

What a delightful read, it made me smile, even though you have so many pains! :-)

[Jess]

thanks Madam F:)

[falling_toxic_rain]

Intersting how you olayed around with this. Nice

[Jess]

:))thanks for reading.

[falling_toxic_rain]

Youre welcome