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My first attempt at an English Sonnet (rhyme scheme ABABCDCDEFFEGG)

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“You love me? No. You love me not”, I cry,
For how can you be true to her and me?
So to whose face do you dare barefaced lie
With words you’d given her, though pledged to me?
Your eyes stayed faithful through your wicked games,
Gave nothing of the truth that lay behind
Those spheres; that on my heart did stake their claim
And sought to trap me there. They made me blind.
But now I see the depths of your deceit
I’ll free myself from your unfaithful hold,
And to your words I’ll find I am numb, cold.
Although I know you will not feel defeat
I shall move on and learn to love again.
I hope one day that she can do the same.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a nice effective piece, and I too would avoid repeating face in the aforementioned line.

[Dilan Gunawardana]

Hi Fergie, this is a very well written piece.
The only line I'd rework is "So to whose face do you dare barefaced lie". I think having "face" twice in the same line hinders the flow a little.
Other than that, I think it captures the moment of clarity that comes after someone you loved hurts you, very well. :)