My Sunset

A slow song playing, my smiling face,
I thought I had found true perfection.
A painful memory I can’t erase,
As I saw you gaze in her direction.

Led on by notions that there was a flame,
a heart now sinks with the setting sun.
I have only one person left to blame,
Now it seems my woe has just begun.

I’ll try with intent to forget the days,
yet still anchored back by your ocean eyes.
From the brightest blues to the deepest grays,
It’s plain to see a fool was I.

But if you were to ask, most would agree,
That in the end, it should have been me.

Reviews

[Psychotic Lily]

The lines at the end just hit me like WOW! This was truly beautiful! I just love the emotion you display as you make the poem's story, keep making wonderful pieces like these.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

nice one! There were contradictions and im not enitely sure if it was intentional or not but it kinda worked so im not complaining.

[Drifter]

hmmm what contradictions? I can tell you whether or not it was intentional:)
I actually wrote this one for school a few years ago, so I had some guidelines to fill!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

well in the beginning you spoke of beauty and smile but them pain that kinda confused me

[Drifter]

That was intentional, actually. It was a situation in my life where I was very happy, only to find out I'd been led on by this person. I look back on it and feel like I should've known it would happen.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

ooh ok. you cudnt have known ya know? anyway alot of mine were school prompts too

[Drifter]

yes, I suppose. thank you for your review.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

no prob :-)

[Belle]

The appearance caught my attention thinking that it is a sonnet,
and yes with the rhyming scheme it also falls under the tenet of a
Shakespearean Sonnet but confuses me with the rhythmic pattern.

Okay I'll just take it a Sonnet still with just some evolution in it.