Letter 1 - Rachel Washington

This is the first story of the book.

Inspired by the 2003 film Thirteen


        My name is Rachael Washington. I am a fourteen-year-old Caucasian girl with short brown hair from South Boston, Massachusetts. I live in a three-bedroom house with my mother Tea and my two older twin brothers Edward and Alphonse. My father Havoc Washington divorced my mother when we were just toddlers. My mom managed to keep full custody of us. Because my dad wasn't around to visit us like he should have, mom struggled raising us on her own. Dad’s absence affected me the most, because whenever I went to a friends’ house and see them with their fathers, my heart would be filled with a deep impact of melancholy and longing to see him again.
        I attended the seventh grade at the Worthington Middle School in Dorchester, Massachusetts. At school during lunch while eating with my friends, I would always notice how at the far end of the cafeteria all the popular kids would congregate with each other. I secretly wished that I had an even larger group of friends to mingle with and be an essential aspect of the crowd. “Say guys I have to go to the bathroom quick.” I said as I noticed the twelve-year-old long black-haired Heather Boggs, the most popular girl in the group, was walking away with her friends. I decided to follow them after her visit to the bathroom to try to get them to notice me. Because I was so fixated on trying to get Heather's attention, I didn't notice the roll of tissue that was stuck onto my shoe. So, I continued to follow Heather with a long path of tissue following me. Within a few minutes, Heather decided to turn around and she immediately saw me and looked at me in the eye for a split second. “Hey guys take a look at that.” said Heather while smiling and pointing her finger at the tissue stuck onto my shoe. All of Heather's friends immediately turned around and began to laugh at me. The entire school hallway was filled with the sound of laughter. I looked down and finally noticed the tissue on my shoe. I didn't care about it, but I did have hard feelings about being laughed at. I slowly walked away till I got back with my friends and took the tissue off my shoe throwing it in a nearby trash can. I took the unpleasant scene as the first step of trying to become the center of the crowd. I decided not to tell my two friends, thirteen-year-old Medusa Odell, and thirteen-year-old Kurz Pearce about it.
         One week after I embarrassed myself, I thought that maybe my clothes were also a contribution to the cause of Heather laughing at me. So, I decided to go up to my mother sitting in the living room and ask if she could buy me a new outfit. “Why would you want a new outfit when I could just hand you my old clothes from when I was your age?” she said. “Well mom, don't you think I am getting a little too old for hand me down clothes?” I spoke. “Okay you know what I will make you a deal. If you manage to do very well in school and keep up doing your chores then I will buy you a new outfit. How does that sound?” she said. “Yes, mom I will do that.” I said with a glazing smile on my face. So, for the remainder of that day, I helped my brothers with the house chores directed by my mom. While I successfully completed each chore, I kept the idea of getting Heather's attention in my mind. As the next term of that year passed for me making high honor rolls, mom went and bought me the outfit like she promised which was a pair of dark blue jeans and along with a matching sweater to wear for the cold. When I got the outfit from my mom, I showed high levels of gratitude to her by hugging her like I never embraced her before.
        One cold Autumn Day while wearing the outfit at school during lunch, I noticed Heather leaving the cafeteria alone, so I followed her again. As Heather reached the entrance to the bathroom, she turned around, noticed me and was completely surprised by the way I was dressed. “Wow you look great. Say how about we hang out together sometime?” she said. “Yes. I'd love to do that.” I said while smiling and looking Heather in the eye. “Awesome. May I have your number?” she said. “Of course.” I said while writing my cell phone number down on a small piece of paper. Heather did the same thing and handed me her number. I then left and as I did, I smiled brightly knowing I made a new friend and thought it would get me the wider length of attention that I desperately wanted.
          Later that week while resting at home on a Saturday afternoon, I heard my phone rang so I ran over to answer it. “Hello?” I spoke. “Hello, it's me Heather.” Heather said. “Oh, hi how's it going?” I spoke. “It's going great. Say would you to like to go shopping with me today?” Heather said. “Sure, hold on for a second.” I said as I left the phone to go ask my mother. Moments later I returned to the phone. Heather and I both smiled as we got permission to go shopping together. My mother drove me over to the Prudential center in Downtown Boston to go meet with Heather. My mother managed to pull her car over near the entrance on Boylston Street. “Okay thanks mom. I'll see you later.” I said as I opened the car door. “You be safe, and I will be back to pick you up right here before dark so be sure to be at this spot at that time okay.” She spoke. “Okay bye mom.” I said as I got out of the car and headed into the store to be with Heather. As I got into the Prudential center and walked into one of the many stores there, I noticed that Heather was conjugating with two other girls close to her age. “Hey Heather.” I said while approaching her. “Hey, what's up Rachael.” said Heather as she hugged me. “Oh, nothing much. Are these girls here friends of yours?” I spoke. “Yes, they are. Their names are Melissa Dougherty and Rebecca Crowe.” Heather said. “It's nice to meet the both of you.” I spoke. “Same here.” Melissa and Rebecca said. Moments later Heather, Melissa and Rebecca began checking out the merchandise by the counter at the front of the store when none of the workers were looking. Being the smart girl that I was, I looked at the price tags on the items that the other girls were looking at. “Girls don't you think that these things cost too much and besides I only have twenty dollars with me.” I spoke. “Yes.” Heather said as she quietly snickered. Sneakily, Melissa and Rebecca removed the security tags off items and put them in the pockets of their jackets. I noticed them doing it but didn't say anything. I felt both shocked and surprised that Heather joined in the thievery. Feeling a bit lost not knowing what to do, I exited the store, left the Prudential Center, and stood near the entrance to wait for my mother.
         As I stood at that entrance, I noticed that there were a crowd of people watching street performers across the street outside one of the corner stores. Feeling curious I decided to go over there. While watching the young men and women do all their performances, I thought to myself and said: “If I don't do what Heather is doing then it'll break the friendship I have with her.” So out of that thought, I began to sneakily take wallets from people. I took all the money out of those wallets and dropped them by a trash can. I smiled, ran back into the store, and headed over to where Heather and her friends were. “Can you guys come with me for a second?” I said as I led them back out of the store and headed through a nearby alley where no one could hear us. “What is it?” Heather said. “I just want to tell you all that I just stole all of this money.” I said as I flashed some of the cash in front of the girls. “Oh my God really?” Heather said. “Yes.” I said as I smiled at Heather. Heather and the others screamed out of adoration over what I did. I split the money with everyone. We took our shares and immediately went into the store and began to spend it. I just bought a cheap shirt along with barrettes for my hair. Mom arrived to pick me up as the streetlights came on. Heather and I embraced for a good thirty seconds. Mom smiled brightly believing that I made another good friend in my life. After that moment, I got into the car with mom to go back home. I kept my pick-pocketing charade a secret from my family from that day on.
          During another day while at school, I spent my free periods with Heather just as much with Medusa and Kurz. As we were walking through the school yard together, Heather began to insult other girls passing by us. Many of them just ignored Heather's hooliganism but some of them decided to retaliate and yell curse words back at her. I just stood next to Heather without saying a single word. After ten minutes of arguing, two teachers standing by watching the entire scene stepped in to stop the debate. I spent so much time hanging out with Heather I ended up being late for class. Since it was my first time being late for class, my teacher decided to be lenient and not write me up about it.
          Later that day at lunch, I sat at the table with all my friends. While we were enjoying eating our lunch, two boys walked over to us. “Hey.” said one of the boys looking at me. “Uh...who are you?” I said with an awkward expression. “My name is Sean Kendall.” Sean said. “And my name is David Bacon. We're both friends of Heather. Mind if we sit here?” David said. “Go right ahead. It's nice to meet the both of you and these are my two friends Medusa and Kurz.” I spoke. “How do you do?”  Medusa and Kurz said. For the remainder of that lunch period, Sean spent it talking to me. Sean's words sunk into my head, and I smiled at him as I heard them. After the bell rang ending lunch, Sean smiled and waved goodbye to me. Heather watched and assumed that Sean was trying to hit on me. “Wow. Rachael, you are one sly girl.” Heather said. “What do you mean by that?” I spoke. “I saw Sean wink at you. It's a sign that he likes you.” Heather said. “Wow you really mean that. He likes me?” I spoke. “I sure do.” Heather said. I smiled at Heather and said, “Thanks Heather. I kind of like him too.”
           For the next three weeks, I spent time with Sean. Heather noticed how much I began to develop a heart of care for Sean, so I decided to get the relationship to move on to the next step very quickly. One cold winter's night while I was alone with Heather in her bedroom at her mother's house, we decided to use that as an opportunity to sneakily be with Sean and David. That night, both of us were dressed in our pajamas while the two boys were wearing warm sweaters with matching jeans. “Say Rachael I can honestly say you are a very cool girl” Sean said. “Thanks. You are too.” I said as I blushed hearing Sean's words. Heather heated up the moment between us by pressuring us to kiss. Two hours later, I was lying under the covers of Heather’s bed having no idea what I had just done. Sean and David left to make sure they didn't get into any trouble. “Heather, I love you very much.” I spoke. “I love you too Rachael.” Heather said. “It hurt a lot, but it felt very good.” I smiled laying down to sleep. From that moment on, Sean and I secretly continued to have a sexual relationship.
         Four months have passed since I began dating Sean. It didn't take long for me to find out that Sean and his friends were using drugs at random parties in abandoned buildings in Dorchester. I cared so much about Sean, I decided to do the drugs with him. One day in the middle of April, Mom decided to take us along with Heather to a Boston Red Sox game at Fenway Park for opening day. Heather and I masked our true intentions with cheerful smiles on our faces. After getting tickets at the booth, we went over to our seats to view the game. As the game reached the third inning, Heather and I headed over to the bathroom. Before we went to the ballpark, we secretly called Sean and David to come by to indulge with them at the building. So, for the next half hour, we were doing drugs and engaging in sexual activities of nature in the bathroom. After we had had their fill of drugs and sex, we left the bathroom and headed back over to Tea and the others. We did our best to cover up what we did by spraying perfumes all over ourselves.
          Days continued to pass by for young me. My addiction to drugs became such a serious issue my grades began to drop from straight A's down to C's, D’s, and F's. Seeing the horrible change in my grades led mom to decide to have a private mother-daughter conversation with me in her bedroom. “Rachael, I am going to have this talk with you right now because I love you. Please tell me what's going on.” Mom said. “Nothing is going on mom.” I spoke. Mom began to shed a few tears because she knew I was lying to her. The changes in me were so obvious. I wasn't the same girl I was six months prior. I didn't even dress like a girl who loved to go to school anymore since I had on nothing but a light tank top and cut off shorts. I dressed like a girl who wanted to live a destructive life. “Rachael, you're lying to me because if there was nothing going on then you wouldn't be doing poorly at school. Edward is telling me that he's been seeing you walking through downtown at night with some boy.” Mom said. “What do you mean? I show up at school every day, don't I? Plus, Sean is my boyfriend.” I spoke. “Showing up in school doesn't mean anything. You must do the work assigned to you and you are only thirteen years old. You shouldn't be having a boyfriend now.” said Mom. “I don't care what you say mom. I love Sean and he loves me. He loves the way I look.” I said as I stood up and moved my body around like an exotic dancer in front of mom. “Rachael, you need to stop that!!” Mom said, grabbing my arm. I decided to stop as I heard mom yell at me. To get mom to be quiet I whispered to her in the ear and said: “I am in control of my life. I can do whatever I want with it.” Mom feeling very shocked by hearing what I said to her she decided to call Dad.
        The next day, I heard the footsteps of someone walking over to me, so I turned around and saw Dad standing by the gate. “Dad?” I spoke. “Yes, it's me.” Dad said. I immediately ran over to Dad and embraced him very tightly. “I missed you dad.” I spoke. “Yes, I missed you too Rachael. Let's sit down and talk now okay.” Dad said. “Okay.” I spoke. Dad and I sat down at the lawn table facing each other. “So, what's going on?” Dad said. “Nothing.” I spoke. “You say that, but your mother just showed me your report card. Why are you failing in school?” Dad said. I sighed and said, “I don't know.” “Well even if you don't know why you can please help me by doing better in school. I am working very hard for you and your brothers. I can't handle something like this right now. I want you to straighten this up for me and not just your mother.” Dad said. I looked back at Dad in the eye with complete deception and said, “Okay dad I will do it.” “Good that is my girl.” Dad said as he hugged me and went back over to Mom. As I was sitting in the yard, I looked down at the ground and smiled with all the evil intentions in my heart. Even after having the heart-to-heart conversation with my dad, I still couldn't understand how what I was doing was affecting my family and reliable friends.
       As the next week passed, I thought of more sneaky ways to live my double life. I decided to only smoke cigarettes when I was alone with Heather at her family's house. I continued to sleep with Sean not even caring what mom thought about it. My destructive life destroyed me up to the point where I couldn't spell long words or compute math anymore. Because of that, I thought that I had no other choice but to cheat in my classes. I allowed being the cool kid of the crowd and gaining attention from my peers control me up to the point where it made me an at-risk child. It was as if I allowed pride itself to turn me into a cripple.
        One month has passed since I saw my dad the last time. Through living my unhealthy relationship with Sean, I ended up getting pregnant. It didn't take long for mom to see the signs of my pregnancy, so she had another private talk with me in her bedroom. “Rachael, I need to ask you a very serious question and please be honest with me. I am begging you to tell me the truth. Are you pregnant?” Mom said. “Yes I am.” I spoke. “Do you see why I told you to straighten up? Didn't I tell you that?” Mom said. “Yes, you did. I am sorry mom that I didn't listen to you. Please help me.” I spoke. “Don't worry sweetheart. I will help you, but don't you think you will be seeing that boy anymore.” Mom said. I looked down and shed tears knowing the fact if I was going to get help raising my baby I had to leave Sean. It took conceiving a baby to realize the error of my ways. At that very same moment I confessed to mom all the thievery that I had committed. Mom cried and hugged me very tight seeing as how the weight of shame affected her too.
         While at school, I made sure that I wasn’t anywhere near Sean. Throughout that day, Sean looked everywhere for me trying to hang out and by dumb luck he found me sitting on a bench waiting for mom to come pick me up. “Hey babe.” Sean said as he approached me. I tilted my head and noticed that Sean was approaching me and said, “Hey.” I kept my head facing the ground with a sad expression as Sean sat next to me. “So, what's going on babe you haven't been answering my phone calls or texts. Please tell me.” Sean said. “I thought that that was my way of showing what I mean. Leave me alone. I am breaking up with you.” I spoke. “But why babe. We've been having such a good life together. I love you. I want to raise this kid together with you.” Sean said. “The only part of me that you are going to have from now on will be this child and that's it. I should have never gotten involved with you in the first place. I realized my mistake and now I am fixing it by breaking up with you.” I said as I took off the bracelet that Sean gave me and returned it to him. “You know what. Okay then.” Sean said as he walked away from me. At that moment, I found myself distracted by the sound of a car horn. That led me to notice that mom was sitting in her car from across the street watching the entire scene. When I finally saw her, I headed over to her car, got in and hugged her very tightly. “I am so proud of you Rachael for doing that. You don't need him, and he doesn’t need you. You have your whole life ahead of you.” Mom. “Yes, I do. Thanks mom.” I said.
         One year has passed since I broke up with Sean. I quit hanging out with all the people I did unhealthy activities with, including Heather. I reconciled my friendship with Medusa and Kurz, and we continued being friends. Since then, I stopped using drugs and I managed to give birth to a healthy baby girl. Mom and I decided to name her Erika. My whole family stood in the room in awe seeing Erika for the first time. Sean wasn't present for the birth, but I didn't let that put me down because I knew that she was going to do a great job raising my daughter.
         On the day after fully recovering from the birth, I decided to go back to school. While I was waiting for mom to come pick me up from my after-school program, a man in a mask sneakily went behind me and grabbed me. I believed it was Sean but couldn’t prove it because the masked person never said a single word. While desperately trying to fight for my life, I screamed for help, but no one came. The masked man took me to an alley at the back of the school building and molested me. After he finished what he did, the masked man ran away and left me in the alley all alone. Sooner after that it started raining. I laid on the ground for a good forty-five minutes till I heard the car horn beeping. Since I knew it was my mother, I ran to the car crying my eyes out. “Rachael what's wrong honey? What happened?” Mom said. “Somebody hurt me mom.” I spoke. “What??!!! Who?!!” Mom said with eyes full of rage. “I don't know. He was wearing a mask.” said Rachael. “Come here we're going to the police station right now. We're going to file a report. I am going to make sure this don't happen again.” Mom said. So, Mom took me over to the nearby police station to file a report about the molestation.
            As time passed by for me, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened that night at school. On a particular summer Saturday, I dressed myself in a T-shirt and light shorts, went over to Carson beach on Morrisey Boulevard and sat down on the sand looking at the water. While sitting on the sand, that unpleasant scene remained in my mind and couldn't stop pondering on why it happened. I allowed the memory to control the way I thought about myself, and it made me say, “I am nothing in this world. I deserved what happened because I was a terrible daughter to my mother. I don't deserve to live anymore.” So, I closed my eyes and walked into the water till my body began to drift off to sea and allowed the river to carry my body along the way.
            Luckily for me, as my body was drifting off the shores of the river, a man on a boat saw me. He had long curly grew hair and a beard. He was average size and was nearly six feet tall. His arms were bulky, and his skin complexion was dark. Feeling scared knowingly he was seeing a human body in the water, the unknown man had his son pull me out of the water. The man ran right over to me and immediately gave me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I managed to wake up, cough water out of my mouth and said, “Huh? Where am I? Who are you?” I looked around and noticed that I was lying on a moving vessel.  “You are on my boat. My name is Solomon. I just saved your life sweetheart. You're very lucky I saw you drifting out there in that water.” Solomon said. “Really, but I didn't want to be saved. I don't deserve to live anymore.” I spoke. “What? Why would you say that? What would your mother or your father would think if they had found out they lost their daughter?” Solomon said. “My parents would be sad.” I spoke. “Exactly. What's your name little girl?” Solomon said. “It's Rachael.” I spoke. For another hour, I told Solomon about what happened the past two years. Because Solomon cared about others, he helped me understand that I am a special person just for who she is and what happened to me wasn't my fault. Hearing what Solomon said made me smile brightly and say, “Thanks Solomon.” “You are welcome. Now let us get you home.” Solomon said as he helped me get back home. When I got back home, I ran to hug my family tightly. During the group embrace, I promised never to allow anyone to push me down in the dumps. I lived on to attend counseling and therapy to become a mother my daughter could be proud of.