Letter 15 - Trisha Lucero

This is the fifteenth story of the book.

My name is Trisha Lucero. I am a twenty-eight-year-old Caucasian woman from Kansas City, Missouri. I grew up in a family where nearly everyone joined the United States military and served in combat. I always felt proud knowing the fact my younger siblings have served the country with honor, diligence and respect.
             One day while my younger brother Benjamin Lucero and I were enjoying a meal at a restaurant on Central Street, a middle-aged Caucasian man approached us. Since Benjamin was wearing his uniform after recently returning from service in Japan, the old man gave him his appreciation. “Excuse me young man.” said the old man. Benjamin turned around and said, “Huh.” “Young man. I just want to say thank you for serving our country.” the old man said. “Oh. Thank you, sir.” Benjamin said as he resumed eating his plate of food. I sat there and watched the entire scene, continued eating and acted like it was just a normal pleasant scene. Later that day, we were shopping for clothes on McGee Street and more people approached my brother to show his appreciation of military service. I stood there watching my brother get even more recognition, I thought to myself that maybe people would notice me more if I became a soldier.
           Two weeks later, at my family's home in Brookside, gave the news of my decision. “Everyone can I have your attention for a sec?” I spoke. “Yeah.” said the other family members. “I have decided that I am going to enlist in the military.” I spoke. My mother Ruth Lucero applauded me and said, “Really?!! I guess being a part of the military surely runs in the family and great minds do think alike.” “Thanks Mom.” I spoke. “Yeah, just like your mother said. Great minds think alike.” said my father, Eric Lucero. As I received praise and adoration for my decision, I smiled knowing that I had a family who supported me. I deeply hoped that I knew what I was doing with my life.
           A week later, I found myself standing in a room dressed in light green clothes with lines of bunks surrounded by other women of diverse nationalities at the military base in the Cape Cod area of Massachusetts. I smiled knowing that I was taking the first step being a part of the military. I kept myself as calmly still as I could I she heard the senior slender Caucasian drill instructor yell at all of this. “Attention all of you!! My name is Christina Callan, your senior drill instructor. From this moment forward you will be under my command! In my presence, you will only speak when spoken to. The first and last word that comes out of your mouth will be ma’am. Is that understood?!!!” Callan said. “Ma’am yes ma’am!!!” we all said in unison. I found the words Callan was saying very funny, so I kept a grin on my face. When Callan stood facing me in the eye, I felt totally angry as she saw my grin. “What is wrong with you? Do you think I'm funny?” Callan said. “Ma'am. No ma'am.” I spoke. “Then why are you smiling. Wipe it off your face right now!!” Callan said. I did all I could to follow the order, but I struggled and said, “I'll try to do it.” “No!! You do it or you don't do it!! There's no trying to follow an order!!” Callan said. “Ma'am. I just can't do it.” I spoke. “Okay then fool. I want you to imagine something. Picture that everything you hold dear being taken away from you like I am going to do now if you don't take that smile off your face.” Callan said. As I heard what Callan said, I found myself imagining seeing the entire neighborhood of Brookside being burned to the ground and my family being brutally murdered. The thought of the atrocious scene occurring made me turn my smile to a frightened expression. “Ma'am. Okay ma'am.” I spoke. “Good. Now you better yourself straight because I will be watching you. Do it or I will mess you up.” Callan said as she walked away and continued with her tutelage.   
            Two years have passed since I enlisted in the military. Every day of training was tougher than I thought it would. For every obstacle I faced, Callan closely watched me. Every time I made even the slightest of an error, Callan scolded me for it by saying, “You better get it right!” I faced every day hoping that I would make it even closer to earn the accomplishments that my parents and siblings have achieved. Luckily for me, I made friends with an African American enlistee named Kara Archer. I felt glad that I had someone to talk to while doing basic training. Little did I know that Kara had a reputation of breaking rules.
           One day, while I was doing my training with Kara, I found herself having a conversation with her. “Hey Trisha. How about we break some rules?” Kara said. “What? Why?” Trisha said. “Because it gives the chance to be able to have some fun being a part of the military.” Kara said. I went to deep thought and through the pressure of my friend it made me say, “Okay Kara. What do you have in mind?” “How about we sell some stuff?” Kara said. “Okay.” I spoke. Later that day, Kara and I sneakily sold drugs to other enlistees. We did it if we were able to. Because I failed to see the consequences for aiding Kara, I was caught. I was also dishonorably discharged for my pattern of misconduct and was sent back to Kansas City. When I returned to my apartment, I couldn't do anything but run to my room and cry my eyes out. The shame and guilt made me unable to tell my family what happened. I allowed my shame to make me want to live a life of dishonesty about serving the military.
         Three months have passed since I was kicked out of the military. Even though I lost my chance to become a war hero, I continued to try to pass myself off as a soldier. Whenever I conjugated with my family at a public place, I would wear my uniform. I failed to listen to the voice in my head, which made me lie about my service in the military even more. Day after day, week after week, and month after month, I would give a lie to every person I ran into regarding my military service. My lie even got me a high paying job as a security guard at a convention center on West Thirteenth Street. Unexpectedly for me, my lying came to a complete halt on a windy day when I was approached by a strange African American man at the bridge Downtown. “Hey.” the man said. I looked at the guy and said, “Um yes.” For the next ten minutes the guy asked me questions involving the military. For every question I answered them with a heart of deception. For each answer I got, the man felt very skeptical which made him say, “Look. I have heard enough. Do you know that the stuff you're saying to me is a clear indication of stolen valor?” “I'm not committing stolen valor.” I spoke. “Yes, you are. Please don't lie to me. I don't know how long you have been doing this, but I suggest you stop before you get into serious trouble. I'm saying this because I have worn the uniform you're wearing, and I have lost many men who have been killed wearing that uniform.” the man said. “I'm not committing stolen valor!!” I said as I turned around and walked away. Benjamin, who was with me the entire time, felt that my claims about my military service were very questionable. “Big Sis. Is that man over there telling the truth? Are you committing stolen valor?” Benjamin said. “No. I'm not.” I spoke. “Trish. Please don't lie to me. You can lie to that strange guy, but you shouldn't lie to your family. I want to know the truth. Don't you know it's a crime to commit stolen valor?” Benjamin said. I sighed knowing that the jig of my lying was up. “Yes brother. I lied. I committed stolen valor.” I spoke. Benjamin tearfully replied, “Sis, I can't believe you. I can't believe you lied about that.” “Little brother. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.” I said as I approached Benjamin. Benjamin couldn't help but take a few steps back feeling ashamed of the fact that his older sister lived a life of deception since he's still serving in the military. “I forgive you, but I can't look at you right now.” Benjamin said as he turned around and ran away. “Benjamin!!!” I said as I reached my arm out to him. I stood there and shed tears knowing the fact my lie pushed my younger brother away from me. All I could feel from the moment was the shame and guilt of my lie and the wind blowing onto my face. The only choice left for me at that moment was me to walk back home with my face covered with tears. The next day I was fired from my job.
         Less than a week later, I received a phone call from Benjamin. “Hey Trish.” Benjamin said. “Hello little bro. I missed hearing from you.” I spoke. “Trisha. I'm calling because I told Dad and the rest of the family about your lie.” Benjamin said. I calmly sighed and replied, “Yes and what did they all say about it.” “They all said the same thing. They each asked how you could do such a thing. It's messed up Trish. It's really messed up.” Benjamin said. “I know Ben and I'm sorry.” Trish said. “I know you're sorry, but you did something that can get you some serious trouble and I don't think you understand why. A few days ago, I was on the internet searching up cases of stolen valor.” Benjamin said. “Yeah, and what did you find?” I spoke. “I found a case regarding a man who was committing stolen valor for years. He lied to investors, doctors and even his own family. He even got money out of it. He made millions of dollars out of these lies. Because of people who were very skeptical of it, they had to put an investigation into him.” Benjamin said. “What happened to him because of all that?” Trisha said. “He lost his job, his house and even the friends he made from that lie. To top it off, he even got a prison sentence that was no more than he deserved. That was a lesson that he needed to learn the hard way. You can learn it too Trish. I have a very good idea for you that was thought up from me and the rest of the family.” Benjamin said. “What is it, Ben?” I spoke. “We all think it's best that you do some volunteer work. By doing it helps you to think about this lie and gain some insight on never doing it again.” Benjamin said. I sighed again and said, “Okay Ben, I will do it.” Out of shame and guilt, I decided to tell my brother the truth about what happened that day at the marine corps boot camp. “Thank you for telling me the truth Trish. It's a great accomplishment for you to do that. Now I hope that you take our advice and do the volunteer work.” Benjamin said. “I will Ben. I promise you.” I spoke. “I really hope you keep your word on that. I will be keeping up with you on it. I love you, Trish.” Benjamin said. “I love you too Ben.” I said as I hung up my phone. Immediately after my phone call with Benjamin, I went onto my computer and searched for nonprofit organizations to volunteer for.
          Two months later, I gave it my all to keep the promise I made to Benjamin. I volunteered at various organizations throughout Kansas City. Doing so reconciled the relationship between me and my family. As a way of getting into the light, I destroyed the uniform I kept and forgot about the military indefinitely. I figured that the military life was never for me anyways. I learned a valuable lesson that living for a false persona can not only affect one person but a family as well.