Letter 19 - Christine Parker

This is the nineteenth story of the book.

           Inspired by the 2006 anime Welcome to the NHK


My name is Christine Parker. I am a thirty-two-year-old Caucasian woman from Methuen, Massachusetts. I lived there in the quiet neighborhood of Oak Street in a white house with my four-year old son Robert Parker. My husband, Larry Parker served in the military off in Saudi Arabia. While my spouse was out serving the country, I promised to raise my son with the utmost of care.
          I tried taking every day raising Robert one day at a time. Because being a stay-at-home mother was my goal, I didn’t work a job. Larry’s checks from his deployment did help with buying food for Robert as well as the bills. Some days living alone with Robert were very good while others were of hardship and exertion of energy. One Autumn Day while being at my best friend African American woman Lilian Williams' house while Robert was being watched by my mother, I opened to her about the current aspects of life. "Lilian, I love Robert so much but there are times I just wish that I can just get some peace and quiet to myself. I know Larry wants to serve the country and I respect that. I wish my hubby was here and we could raise Robert together." I spoke. "I believe that every mother in your shoes has that wish Christine. Say, I have an idea. Take this." Lilian said as she handed me a boxed computer game. "What's this?" I spoke. "It's an online computer game known as World of Warcraft. Give it a try when you get home. It's a fun game." Lilian said. "Okay Lilian. I will take your word for it." I said as I got up and left Lilian's house to go home.
          One week later at home while Robert was sleeping in his room, I thought about what to do for the rest of the night. Through the pondering in my mind of what activity that I could do, the World of Warcraft game came up. So, I took the game out of the carrying case and placed it into my desktop computer disk drive. I smiled and giggled as I made my profile avatar as well as entered all the rest of my information in it. The very next day, I found myself still sitting down in front of the screen of my computer playing the game. It took being slightly pulled by my sleeve from my son to be taken away from the screen. "Mommy!! Mommy!!" Robert said. "Oh. What?" I said, turning my head to look at my son. "I'm hungry mommy." Robert said. "Sure. I will make you your breakfast." I said walking over to the kitchen with Robert holding my hand. As I made a bowl of cereal for Robert, all I could think of was what I was going to be doing in the video game. After handing Robert his bowl of cereal and a glass of juice, I headed back to my room. “Thank you, mommy.” Robert said as I walked away. The sound of that bedroom door being shut was a part of the first step to my life of gaming addiction.
          Many days have passed since I began playing World of Warcraft. I clanged onto the game up to the point of neglecting my son’s cries and pleas of hunger. I ignored my husband’s bi-weekly video chat requests. My addiction to the online game was so awful I locked the door to my room. I closed the curtains on my window. I turned my cell phone off. I had even used earphones to make sure I was only hearing audio from the computer and not Robert. It was as if I glued my eyes to the screen of the computer just to see what was happening on it. Every day I would yell and cuss so loud whenever I made a mistake in the game or encounter a player I didn't like.
         Unfortunately my life of video gaming addiction came to a halt when my door was busted open by Lilian. The moment my bedroom door was pushed open, I couldn't help but yell at Lilian. “Lilian, what the hell is wrong with you? You don’t ever kick open doors in my house!!” I spoke. "My dear friend!! What has gotten into you? What have you been doing this past month? Why is it so dark in this room? What is that smell?!!!" Lilian said, doing all she could to hold her nose. “What smell?” I spoke. “You don’t smell that nauseating odor.” Lilian said as she endured the odor emanating from the room due to the smell of old pizza boxes, potato chip bags, candy bar wrappers, two-liter soda bottles filled with urine, and half eaten pastries. "What are you doing here anyway?!! Leave me alone. Can't you see I am busy here?!!" I spoke. "Christine!! I only came here because I felt worried about you. I haven't heard from you in a long time. Why haven't you at least called me and told me what you been up to?" Lilian said. "Give it a rest you dumb fool!! Go away!! You call me your friend! You are not my friend. All my friends are on World of Warcraft." I said showing all the anger and frustration on face. "Christine...do you really believe what you are saying?" Lilian said. "I sure as hell do. I don't need you. I don't need a family. I don't need anybody!!" I spoke. Hearing what I said to Lilian made her shed tears. "I love you anyway. What's between you and me isn't the problem. It's Robert. He...is dead. I checked his body. It appeared to me that he hadn’t eaten in days, but you had no problem buying yourself pizza, candy, pastries, chips and soda while your baby boy starved to death. You should be ashamed of yourself for that. I am going to call the police right now." Lillian said as she grabbed her cell phone and called the police like she said.
           I remained standing by my desktop computer looking at the ground staring at the trash without a care in the world. It didn't take long for police officers to come to the house, and they also held their noses tight due to the smell of Robert's corpse and the trash from my bedroom. "Hello, are you the one who called?" one of the officers said. "Yes. I have called you guys because my friend here starved her son to death because all she wanted to do was feed herself and play video games all day!!" Lilian said. I felt a wave of shock hearing Lilian say what she said about me. The arrest itself wasn't an easy one because I held onto my desktop computer like it was my very life. "No! No! Leave me alone!! Don't separate me from the computer!" I spoke. Within seconds I was tazed by one of the officers making me scream, shake and get hand cuffed. Lilian cried her eyes out over the death of Robert and the arrest of her best friend. Even while being arrested and taken to the police car outside the house, I failed to realize that I gave up my life of reality for a fantasy.
         In the local courtroom on Appleton Street in Lawrence, I found myself sentenced to twenty years in prison. I remember hearing the shouting of obscenities from Larry’s family as well as the sound of tears over Robert’s death. “What’s wrong with you? Why would you not feed your son?” one person said. “Yeah. How could you do that? You’re a monster!!” another family member said. “This is all my fault. I should have never given you that game.” Lillian said as she was crying. When the bailiff took me away, all I could think about was not being able to play video games. They were more important to me than anything in my life. I was sent to the Correctional Center for Redemption in Boston. I walked over to my cell without saying a word to anyone. I had a cell mate who was a young African American woman with long braids sitting on the top bunk. She appeared around the same age as me. She was slender built. “Hey cell mate. My name is Andrea, but my family always called me Ann.” Ann said. “My name is Christine.” I spoke as I put my things on my bunk. "So, what they get you for?" Ann said. "Starving my son to death." I said without any conviction in my voice. Ann got off her bunk, grabbed me by the collar of my orange jumpsuit, pushed me to the wall and said, "What? Why did you do that? Do you know what you done?" It took being physically grabbed and a more closely confrontation about what I did made me shed tears. "Yes...I finally know what I did. I destroyed my one and only son. I promised that I would take care of him, and I failed him. All because I wanted to play video games. What have I done?" I said as I cried my eyes out. My addiction to video games made my heartbeat very hard up to the point of resisting those who weren't living the same life as me. "Looks like you are beginning to understand what you did. I did what I just did to you because I murdered someone too. A child. I was so intoxicated from alcohol that night. I made the dumb decision of getting in my car and accidentally crashing into him when I lost control of my car. I must live with this for the rest of my life. Now you must live with this, but it was your own kid. I have a kid myself who I can't see because I am here. I hope that you get comfortable and get to know everyone." Ann said as she walked back to her bunk. At that moment, I thanked Ann heavily with a heart of gratitude because it helped bring me back to reality. I looked out the window of my cell, hoping that I would get a second chance at life and rectify my awful decision.