Letter 20 - John Armstrong

This is the twentieth story of the book.

Inspired by the 2003 anime Gungrave

           My name is John Armstrong. I am a forty-eight-year-old African American man from The Bronx, New York. As a child, life with my parents was very tough for me living at a broken-down three-floor apartment complex in Tremont on Washington Avenue. Every day began and ended with my parents fighting both verbally and physically. It's like every day, I would walk through a home engulfed with a sea of blood. Out of anger, my father, Anthony Armstrong, would even take it out on me by beating me in the middle of the day. All I wished for was to be in a place of peace. Because I couldn't stand taking it being abused anymore, I ran away from home many times only to be spotted by police and to be brought back to my parents to deal with and endure even more pain.
          Because the police officers couldn't take anymore of bringing me back home and hearing about my father abusing me, they decided to arrest my father. My mother, Tiffany Armstrong, could not stand the sight of my dad getting arrested so she fought the police officers. Unfortunately for her, the police officers beaten her down to the floor with batons making her sustain many injuries to her arms and legs. This was a family that I needed to get away from. My mother began to see that in me, so she made the decision to leave me at a group home on East Tremont Street. I was fifteen years old that day. I hoped that life would be better for me from now.
           At the group home, I hoped that everything was going to be good, but it was not. The very first day of being there, the other boys began beating me up. "Look, why are you guys doing this to me? I have done nothing to you." Younger me spoke. "We always do this to the new guys. You are fresh meat." the bullies said. I thought that at that age that the treatment the bullies gave me was what I was meant to deal with. As the bullies beat me up, a lone slender Caucasian girl with red hair stood in front of them with the effort of making them stop. "Leave him alone." the girl said. "You stay out of this, or we will do this to you next." the bullies said. During the debate, a Caucasian boy, who was taller than me appeared and said, "How about you guys do what she said and leave him alone?" "Or what?" said one of the bullies who charged at the tall boy. The tall boy, however, punched the bully as hard as he could in the face, making him fall to the ground. "Maybe that will teach you a lesson." the tall boy said. "All right. We will leave him alone." the other bullies said as they picked up their friend off the ground and took off running back inside the main building. "Thanks." I spoke. "Anytime." said both the tall boy and the girl. "I like to ask why did you guys help me out." I spoke. "We got tired of seeing those guys push you around. It is just not right." the girl said. "Also, we did it to help give you motivation of standing up for yourself." the tall boy said. "I have tried doing that with my dad but because he's bigger than me he always took me down." I spoke. "Don't worry. I can teach you how to fight." the tall boy said. "Really. Cool. Thanks. My name is John Armstrong. What are your names?" I spoke. "My name is David Stone." David said. "And I'm his friend Danielle Nolan." Danielle Nolan. "It's nice to meet you David and Danielle." I spoke. With that, I played basketball with my two new friends David and Danielle.
            Two years have passed ever since I became friends with David and Danielle. Every day I got out of bed, I looked forward to what I would do with my friends. It did not take long for David, and I began to treat each other like brothers. Anytime someone tried to fight us, we stood against them.
However, our days of fun and excitement came to a halt when David was called over to the office. "I will be right back guys." David said as he headed back inside the main building. "Okay." Danielle and I said in unison. A half hour later, David returned to us sitting on a bench and talking. "Oh, hey David. Welcome back." Danielle said. David gave us a confused expression. "Is everything alright David?" I spoke. "You guys. I just had a talk with a man who claimed to be my dad. He said he wants to take me home with him." David said. "Really? That is great. You get to be with your father." Danielle said. "Yes, but I don't want to leave you guys." David said. Unexpectedly, the man who claimed to be David's father walked into the yard and stood behind him. I felt incredibly surprised at how he looked. He was over an inch taller than David with a slender figure and was wearing a very dark black suit. The man also had a pair of sunglasses that he caressed into his side suit jacket pocket. I kept my eyes fixed on the man and said, "Well hello sir. What is up?" The man looked right back at me and said, "Hello. My name is Ronald Stone. I just want to say that I am going to be taking David home." David looked at the man in the eye and said, "If you are really my father then why didn't you come get me instead of waiting this long. You left me when I need you the most." Ronald stood onto his knees, "I know that you are feeling very upset about me for not being in your life. Your mother took you away from me without letting me see you at all. I want to say that I am sorry for not being there for you when you needed me. I am sorry for not putting you to bed at night. I am sorry for not being there at mealtimes. I am sorry for not giving you any parental guidance like I should have done as your father. I am your dad, and I want to be in your life." David stood there surprised and smiled making him say, "Sure. I will give you a chance, but don't you ever let me worry about where you are ever again." "Okay. Agreed." Ronald said as he stood up to his feet. Danielle and I both waved goodbye to David and Ronald as they both walked away to a car parked outside the gate to leave. "Goodbye my friends. Hope to meet you guys again." David said as he got into the car. I smiled brightly when I saw my best friend reunited with his dad.
              Six months have passed since Danielle, and I have ever seen David. We both wondered what he was doing with his life. We also hoped that he would mend the relationship with his father. One Spring Day at the cafeteria lunch table, we were enjoying our meal together. "I can honestly say life here has been very quiet without David huh?" I spoke. "Yes, it sure has." Danielle said. "I miss him. He was like family to me.” I spoke. "I miss him too. I'm sure that we'll see him again. Say now that we are both eighteen, I like to ask: What are you going to do with your life now?" Danielle said. "I don't know. I never thought about what I even wanted to do. How about you Danielle?" I spoke. "I'm going to attend college and become a teacher." Danielle said. "That's great. Follow your dream." I spoke. "Sure. Thanks John." Danielle said with a big smile on her face. "No problem." I said as I stood up, threw the rest of my food into the nearby trash can and walked away. Since I was eighteen years old and officially an adult, I aged out of the system for the group home to be able to take care of me. During those years of being at the group home, I refused to go with any family that wanted to take me in. So, I had been sent off to move on to a bigger step in life.
              Now at the age of eighteen and having no other place to go, I thought I had no choice but to live out on the streets. I had no idea of what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I found myself sitting on a bench at Ronaqua park, pondering within my mind on what I must do now. Without David or Danielle by my side, I thought I lost a piece of myself. Unexpectedly, while walking throughout the streets of the city still dressed in the same clothes that the group home gave me, I heard a voice calling out to me. "John!! John!!! Hey John!!!!" the voice said. I turned around and noticed David was standing and waving to me across the street from me. "David? Is that you?" I said as David raced toward me. "Hey, my old friend." David said. The moment I saw David, I hugged him tightly. David laughed hard as he embraced me back. We hugged each other for a good two minutes until we finally let go. I looked at David and smiled as I noticed how well dressed, he was. David was wearing a completely dark black suit. David could not help but hold his nose noticing the awful smell coming from me due to the condition of my clothes and body that have not been washed in days. My hair grew to the size of an afro and my eyebrows formed a unibrow. "So, David. What have you been up to all this time?" I spoke. "I have been collaborating with my dad. Say would you like to come to my place to take a shower? We can catch up more with a nice meal as well after." David said. "Sure. That sounds nice." I spoke. So, I followed David back to a white house at Riverdale on West Two Hundred and Forty-Nine Street. I felt quite amazed seeing David had changed. I smiled as I bathed under the showers washing away the memories of the streets behind me.
              After finishing my shower, combing my hair, and changing into the clothes David left out for me, I headed over to the dining room where plates of food were already set out. David was sitting down in a chair waiting for me. I sat down in a chair and said, "It's so great to see you again David." "It sure is." David said as he looked at the blue shirt and white jeans I was wearing. We ate our fill of sandwiches and chips and drank soda. I could not help but stare at the picture sitting on the wall right above David's head. In the picture, David was standing beside an Asian girl near the beach tides. They were smiling together in happiness. "Say David who is that pretty girl in the picture behind you?" I spoke. David quickly turned his head around, grabbed the picture and said, "That is my girlfriend, Carla." "Wow. Your girlfriend? Really? I am happy for you David." I spoke. "Thanks. I should introduce you to her sometime. You should know Danielle was into you. If you see her again take your chances with it." David said. "I don't know David. I just don’t think someone like me is her type of guy." I spoke. "Oh, come on. You certainly are the guy for her. I know this because she always told me how much she liked the sight of you." David said. "Do you really mean that?" I spoke. "Yes, I do. I am not the man who lies to his friends." David said. I smiled and said, “Thanks David." "Anytime. Say would you like to come with me and meet a friend of mine?" David said. "Sure." I spoke. "Ok. Let's go." David said as he and I both headed out to the bar at Wilkinson Avenue in Middletown. I hoped and wondered what the people I was going to meet were like.
              I found myself standing inside the local bar with David. There was an Asian man sitting down at a table. He was wearing a blue jacket covered with pictures of dogs and cats with a matching pair of jeans. He had a crew cut hairstyle, dark black eyes, and a straight neck. The man noticed David and said, “Hey David!!” “Hey George.” David said. George looked at me and said, “Who is this, David?” “Hi. My name is John Armstrong.” “It’s nice to meet you, John. I am George Collins.” George said. “It’s nice to meet you too. Say, I really like your jacket, George. You must really love dogs and cats huh." I spoke. "Thanks. I sure do love them. They are my life. They're like children that I want to protect." George said. "Great. May I ask how your life has been caring for these animals." I spoke. "At one side, it's been a great life and at the other a living Hell." George said in a serious expression. "Whoa. May I ask what has been happening for all that time?" I spoke. "Of course. I like to share my story whenever I can. So, when I was about ten years old my mother bought me both a kitten and a puppy for my birthday. That day was the best day of my life. I named the kitten Gloria and the puppy Tabitha. Every day, I would always look forward to looking after my pets. Because I was an only child, it was as if I had my own two little sisters. All of that came to a halt one day when I was in my room playing with my pets, my mother called me over to her. Being an obedient son, I walked over to her. Gloria and Tabitha, both followed me as I went. My mother apologized for the fact that I was never going to see my pets again. She took them away from me and handed them over some strange Caucasian man. The man gave me some evil satisfying grin as he walked out of the house with my pets in both of his hands. I followed him as he headed over to his car. I watched him throw my pets in the backseat of his car, grabbed a gun out of his inside pocket and shot them. I screamed and cried my heart out for Gloria and Tabitha. I loved them so much. They were my family. I begged and begged my mother for she let him kill my pets. She told me because she borrowed money from him to buy them in the first place. She failed to pay him back. I formed a grudge against my mother and didn't speak to her for days. I stayed in my room all that time crying for the loss of my pets. I swore revenge against the man who took my family away from me. I wanted to see him suffer. Finally, at the age of twenty-three, I got my revenge. I emptied the gun that belonged to my dead father onto that slime ball who took the lives of two innocent animals. That was ten years ago. Now I take out men who kill or mortally wound animals because they deserve justice too." George said. "That must have been very hard for you." I spoke. "It was. What I do now is my escape from all of that and it helps me cope." George said. "How did you meet David anyway?" I spoke. "One day while I was walking to a pet store on Cross Bronx Parkway to steal a kitten, David ran into me, stopped me and bought the cat for me." I spoke. I did all I could to hide the feeling of the impact that George's story had on me. 
             I looked at David and said, "I think you have found a great friend, David." "Great. Now I would like to ask you one thing. I want you to join us. Will you?" David said. "What?" I spoke. The moment David asked me to join, I went into deep thought about this decision. I looked at my life before I ran into David. I thought of all the things I had to do as a way of life to survive in the real world. I hated it with all my heart. I hated the fact that I had to steal food and drinks from stores. I hated the fact that I had to sleep on park benches and in bus stations. I even hated the fact that I was all alone. Throughout all my pondering David said, "Come on. Come on. Think about what you will have." Knowing that I would have food, water, clothes, and everything else I needed made me smile and say, "Yes. I will join you both." "Great. Now we have a trio. George, can you get John a glass of vodka for him?" David said. "Sure thing." George said as he went over to the bartender to get what David asked for. I began to feel even more glad for believing that I really became a part of a brotherhood. As I drank with everyone, I stepped into an adventure that would change my life forever.
             As I enjoyed the welcoming party into the brotherhood, David quickly yelled, "Everyone duck!!" Without question, we complied with David and ducked and covered behind the bar. Luckily, the bar itself could withstand the gunshots that repeatedly hit it. "What's going on?!!" I said as I covered my ears frightened in terror. "Traitors of the mafia are aiming to take me out because I'm the boss's son." David said as he pulled out a black handgun from the back of his pants. I looked at David, put my hand on his arm and said, "What are you doing?" "Trying to protect you." David said as he readied to shoot. "But what about you?" I spoke. "Don't worry about me. They want me so I might as well use myself as a shield for you and the others to safely walk out of here." David said. I gulped as I caught my breath and said, "Okay but be careful." David yelled as loud as he could and said, "Okay!”! Stop!! I give!!" Instantaneously the gunfire ceased and one of the extremists said, "Okay then walk out slowly from your hiding spot." David stood up and walked around to the front of the bullet hole covered bar. I could not help but feel frightened as I looked at the bartender lying dead on the floor spilling blood out of his head. I hoped that I would live to see the next sun rise. I wondered why this was even happening to me. The fear in my heart made me cover my ears and close my eyes. I thought that I was just having a nightmare. In a matter of minutes, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I opened my eyes, uncovered my ears, and felt incredibly surprised that David was still standing before my eyes unharmed. "Hey." David said. "David. You're alright." I said in a calm manner. "Of course, I'm alright. I told you I am trying to protect you." David said. Feeling curious I stood up to my feet to look. Lo and behold, I felt even more shocked as I saw the shooters lay dead on the floor. The sight of the brown hard wooded floor covered with the bodies of the other customers as well as guns and bullets made me gasp. "So, this is what you meant?" I spoke. "Yes." David said. I nodded and said, "Okay." I never thought that I would get myself involved in an unpleasant scene like this. The fear and worry in my heart quickly turned to gratefulness since David once again saved my life. I really wanted to be a part of David's group even more to repay my debt. 
           As the next week passed, I found myself haunted by what I saw at the bar. It would replay in my mind as well as my dreams. It was as if I cursed to relive that very moment till the day I died. Back in David's house, I walked over to his room as I heard my name coming from his own mouth. The moment I got closer to the room, I noticed that he was on the phone talking to his father. I felt a sense of worry as I kept hearing David discuss in the form of a debate with his old man. I was so curious about the meaning of the conversation; I remained standing at the entrance to David's room till he hung up the phone. Shortly after he finished talking to Ronald by phone, David found me standing at his doorway. "Whoa. You are noticeably quiet. How long were you standing there?" David said. "Sorry about that. I been standing here the moment I heard you mention my name. So. What's up?" I spoke. "Well even though I agree with you joining the mafia but recruiting new members is always up to the final decision of my father. He said to me that he doesn't think of you as someone fit for this, and he thinks that you should just get a job somewhere and live a normal life." David said. "The man in front of me protected me for two years from bullies. He also saved my life at the bar last week. I am staying here at this house because I want to repay him. Please take me to see your father and let me reason with him." I spoke. "Sure. If that's what you want." David said as he got up off his neatly made bed and headed out of the house to his car while I followed. As I sat in the passenger seat of David's white sports car, I hoped that I knew what I was doing. 
         During the car ride over to the place where Ronald was located, I noticed that David was driving through the High-bridge section of the city. I also recognized the buildings since this neighborhood was the place where I used to run away from the chaos that my parents put me through. I would sit on the front porch of the very first abandoned building that I thought would be comfortable to be in until the police found me. All the buildings throughout the had smashed windows, busted brick walls and stairway entrances that have been torn apart by people. Because I did not want to make David worry, I hid my feelings with a satisfied expression. "So, are you sure that this is the place your father is?" I spoke. "Yes, it is. Why do you ask?" David said. "Well. This place does give me memories. I used to come here a lot when I was a kid." I spoke. "What? Really? That is formidable. You really can help us out." David said. David stopped the car in front of a building with which I was quite familiar. It was the same property that I turned to as a refuge. I wondered why the mafia was interested so much in a place as desolate as this.           
        After an hour of anticipation, we arrived at the building that Ronald was hiding in. We 
got out of the car wondering what was going to happen. I noticed that Ronald was sitting on a 
chair surrounded by a dozen other men by the entrance to the building. "David!! How is my boy doing" said Ronald as he got out of his chair walking to hug David. "Now Pop, I am not a boy anymore okay. I need to talk to you about something" David said as he broke free from the embrace. "Okay 
what is it?" Ronald said. "Well...it's not me who needs to talk. He does." said David as he pointed his 
thumb at me who was standing behind him. I slowly approached to Ronald and said, "It's nice to 
see you sir." "And who are you?" Ronald said as he gave me a confused look. "Pop. This is the guy 
I was talking to you about over the phone." said David. "So, you are John." Ronald said. "Yes, I am 
sir. I am John Armstrong." I spoke. "So, what do you want to talk to me about?" Ronald said. 
 "Mr. Stone. I would like your permission to allow me to join your gang." I spoke. "What? Do 
you really expect me to allow someone as weak as you to join my party of strong men who aren't 
afraid to die? David told me about you. He told me how afraid you were in that bar. This life is not 
for you. Get a job somewhere and live a normal life." Ronald said. With no other option of 
persuading Ronald, I decided to get on my knees. "Sir. Please. I am begging you to let me join 
your gang. I want to repay your son for what he has done me by doing the same for him." I spoke. 
Ronald kindly lifted me back up to my feet and said, "Okay then. Are you serious with what 
choice you are making? You are gonna make choices that you will later regret in life. Are 
you willing to be in this under your own free will?" "Yes I am. I want to repay my debt to David. I will do anything." I spoke. "Okay. If you are going to be a part of the mafia then you need to be ready to face death head on. I don't need any punks who will just cling onto the corner when in danger. If you slow us down one bit, then I will have to kill you. I want you to remember that." Ronald said. "I will sir." I spoke. "Good. Now to ensure that you are able David will train you." Ronald said. David, who was standing there listening to the entire conversation, said, "Yes, I will do it." "Good. I will see that you do. Now go." Robert said as he returned to sit down in his chair. "Okay John, let's go." David said as he walked back to his car. "Okay." I said as I followed. We got in the car and drove back to the house. On the drive back, I felt amazed and shocked while I got the chance to return the favor to David. It was both a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I made a solemn vow to make sure to never let myself cry in fear ever again at the sight of danger.
          The next day, I found myself at a gun range remarkably close to David’s. I never thought that I would ever stand inside a place like that. There were guns hanging on each of the walls as well as bulletproof vests. There were also boxes upon boxes of live ammunition within glass cases that the workers used as a counter for the cash registers and other miscellaneous items. That day there was only one person on staff. He was a middle-aged Caucasian man who was wearing army fatigued clothes with his sleeves rolled up. The man behind the counter noticed David and said, "Oh it's you David. Here for your usual training?" "Yes, I am but I would like to have my friend here sign up for your beginner lessons." David said. "Sure thing. I will sign him up right away sir. What is your name young one?" man behind the counter said as he pulled out a clip board. I walked closely to the counter and said, "John Armstrong." "Okay. John Armstrong." said the man as he signed my name on the clip board as well as the list of hours of access to the range. I looked at the man and said, "Okay so is he ready?" The man said, "Yes he is." "Thank you very much sir. Anyway, what is your name?" I spoke. "My name is Kenneth. Kenneth Lewis." Kenneth Lewis. "Cool. It's nice to meet you, Kenneth." I spoke. "Anytime. You need anything let me know." Kenneth said. "Sure, will do." I said as I headed to the range. I hoped that nothing will go wrong as I began to learn how to use a gun.
         Feeling curious, I said, "So what gun am I going to be practicing with." "We'll begin with a smaller gun first." David said as he handed me a black handgun. Feeling ready, we walked right over to the targeting area. I could not help but keep my eyes on everything in the room. There were over a dozen lanes that lead to many hanging half body targets hanging from the ceiling. There were also booths that had walls to separate each of them. I followed David to a nearby booth holding onto the gun. 
         As I stood facing the target, I thought that it was the first step to the tremendous rocky adventure I set myself up for. "This is the first time I ever held a gun." I spoke. "You better get used to it because that gun is going to be your most important item." David said. "I will." I spoke. "Now before we begin the training. I would like to ask you. Are you sure you want to do this?" David said. "I have nowhere to go back to. This is my choice. I must repay my debt." "Okay then let's begin." David said as he pressed a button on the wall to make the targets move in a wide circular motion. "So, what am I to do?" I spoke. "I want you to take out these targets." With that, I aimed my gun and opened fire at the targets. Because it was my first try, I barely took out even one of them. "Look stop." David said. I ceased firing the moment I heard David. "I don't know what's wrong. I keep missing these targets." I spoke. "What can help you to hit them is to visualize them as real people. Think of them as someone you hate. Use that as your fuel to properly aim your weapon at the target." David said. I took one look at the targets. I took a few deep breaths and began to think of my failure as a father. Those thoughts brought back the memories of all the times he beat me down to the point of being unconscious as well as all the times of running away from that abuse. It repeatedly ran through my mind like a movie. In that moment, the visualization led me to say, "Stop!!" "Stop what?" David said. I aimed my handgun at the targets, opened fire and hit them right at the center with one shot. I smiled and said, "I did it! I got them!" "Yes, you did it!!" David said. The feeling of successfully hitting the targets made me want more. It led me to believe that I was getting even with my father for everything that he did for me. For fun, I continued to shoot even more targets at the other lanes for the rest of the day. Feeling exhausted, I fell to my knees and said, "There...I did it. They're...all gone." "Impressive!!" David said. "Thank you." I said as I gave David a smile. "Okay. I think we have done enough for today. Let's go back to the house." David said. "Okay." I said as I got up and followed David and handed the gun back to Kenneth who was standing by the viewing window watching everything unfold. "No. Keep it. It is yours. What you did today is proof enough to me that you were destined to use a gun like that." Kenneth said. "Really? I can keep this?" I spoke. "Of course." Kenneth said. "Thanks." I spoke. "No problem." Kenneth said as he handed me a medium-sized brown bag that contained clips along with boxes of bullets. On the way back to the house, I could not help but keep my eyes on my new gun. When we got there, I went to my room to be alone. On that very night, I sat on my clean bed and thought about where my life was going. Throughout all the experiences I went through being reunited with David, I could not help but think of Danielle. I missed her. I wanted to see her again. I desperately wanted to do all the things with her that made me feel like the special person I was. Her face ran through my mind as I laid down in bed to sleep.
           For the next three months I would go to Kenneth's gun range to practice my shooting. With each visit, I would become better than before. I would take out each target in less than ten minutes. One day, while I was doing my daily practice, David stopped me. "Hey John!!" David said. I looked at David and said, "Yes David?" "I have to say you have done very well. I believe you're ready." David said. "Ready for what?" I spoke. "Your first assignment." David said. "Really? Thank you." I spoke. "Of course, now let's go home. My father is waiting there for us." David said. I felt excited knowing I made an impression following David back to the house.
            When we came back to the house, Ronald was waiting there as David said. We saw the inconspicuous mafia boss wearing a black mask on his face along with his complete black suit sitting cross-legged. Ronald looked at me and said, "So nice to see you again John." "Nice to see you too sir. May I ask why are you wearing a mask?" I spoke. "It's for my protection." Ronald said. "Oh. Okay sir." "Anyway. Are you ready for your first assignment?" Ronald said. "Yes sir." I spoke. "Good. Well, there is a certain someone who has been a nuisance to me and I want him dead. Can you take care of him?” Ronald said. I pulled out my gun and said with a determined grin, "Sure I can boss." "Good. Good." Ronald said as he handed me a large orange envelope. I took the envelope and said, "What is this sir?" "Inside that envelope is the target I want to be taken care of." Ronald said. "Okay." I said as I opened the envelope. Inside of that envelope was a picture of a man. I felt an extreme level of shock as I recognized the person in the photo. That man was my father, Anthony. "You’re concerned?" Ronald said. "No sir. I like to ask why are you targeting this man." I spoke. "Well, that man use to work for me. He was my most trusted shooter. I relied so much on him till he betrayed my trust. I found out that he stole money from me. When I found out, I wanted to empty a gun on him myself, but I found out he got married and had a son. You are his kid, aren't you?" Ronald said. Hearing that question filled my heart with hate and rage. The rage me want to see him die. "Yes boss. I am his son. When do I start?" said John. "Tonight. One of my men told me that he is living in an apartment all alone and unprotected. He told me his wife left him. To ease his loneliness, he brings a different woman in his apartment almost every night." Ronald said. I could not help but think of how I am going to have to face going back to the broken-down home I grew up in. It was as if I was going back to face the monster who tried to kill me. "Yes sir. I will carry out the order." I said as I bowed my head. "Good. To make sure you will not be alone, David will accompany you. You do good, you will be well rewarded." Ronald said. "Yes sir." I said as I headed over to my bedroom to get ready. I put on a completely black suit that Ronald left on my bed and placed my gun in my side pocket. Twenty minutes later, I left the house and drove to Anthony’s apartment complex.
          After a time of patience and anticipation, we arrived at Tremont. The moment we got there, we put on masks that resembled Ronald's. As I put the mask over my face, I took deep breaths. “You ready?” David said. I finished my breathing and said, “Yes. Let us do this.” We opened the complex door and walked inside. I could not help but cringe as I knew I was standing in the building where all the abuse my father put me through had happened. The darkness within my heart deepened as I walked up the floors step by step. When we got to the right apartment number, we stopped with our guns in hand. I knocked on the door as hard as I could so my father could hear. Within seconds, we heard our target's footsteps approaching the door. I prepared myself for the roller coaster ride of seeing my abusive father again. And with that, the door in front of us opened and there stood Anthony. He was wearing a light red short-sleeved shirt along with black cotton pants and light brown slippers. I could not help but notice that my father gained more weight making his shirt show his belly. “Good evening. May I help you all?” Anthony said. “Yes.” I said as I pushed Anthony away from the doorway. “Hey!! What are you doing?” Anthony said. “Our boss's orders.” I said as David walked up to Anthony and dragged him to a nearby chair. The sight of everything within the apartment fueled my anger even more. “Who do you think you are?!!” Anthony said. “Shut up!!” I said as I punched my father as hard as he could in the face. David, on the other hand, ran to close the door so no one could see the commotion. Anthony spat out a tooth out of his mouth and said, “I see. Ronald made his move.” “So, you figured it out. Way to go Sherlock.” I spoke. “It is finally time to accept my punishment. Can I ask a couple of requests?” Anthony said. “Sure. Name them.” I spoke. “The first one. Can you two take off your masks? I want to know who killed me.” Anthony said. We both replied, “Sure.” David and I removed our masks. Anthony could not help but gasp as he realized who I was. “John? Is that you?” Anthony said as he tried to stand up. David, on the other hand, pushed Anthony back onto the chair and said, “Stay down!!” “John. I cannot believe you. Do you mean to kill me? Your own father?” Anthony said. “Don't be stupid. Now tell us your last request.” David said. “Can I have one more drink before I die?” Anthony said. “Yes. Go ahead. Try anything stupid and I will put one in your head.” I spoke as I pulled out my gun equipped with a suppressor and pointed it at him. I then took steps back as I watched Anthony get up out of his chair and walked slowly to the large glass cabinet near the entrance to the fire escape. He grabbed a large clear-glass cup along with a large bottle of whiskey. I could not help but clench my gun as I watched my father drink his final cup. “Before you do what, you came to do may I say one more thing?” Anthony said. “Go ahead.” I spoke. “I will ask you again John. Do you really want to kill me? If you do this, you will not turn back. You are going to end up like me. Do you have any idea as to how many people I killed over the years? I took so many lives I could not count on my hands and feet. Soon killing did not mean anything to me anymore. I wanted something else. I drank and drank. I even did it after I married your mother. That is why we argued all the time because she knew I was stealing money from her purse. My alcohol addiction became my family, not you or your mother. I tried to quit so many times, but I failed to do so. So, John if you kill me for Ronald then I will understand.” Anthony said. When I heard those words, my father said it made me feel the angriest I had ever been in my life. Anthony put me through so much abuse all because he wanted to get drunk. The anger in my heart turned to hatred. Then hatred to rage. I aimed my gun at Anthony and said, “I do not care anymore. Bye.” With that, I opened fire on Anthony shooting him right through his heart. Anthony fell onto the floor making a faint thud with his back. To make sure my mission was complete, I walked over to Anthony's body and shot him two more times in the same spot. Since it was my first kill, I kept my face looking at the floor facing the corpse of the man who was my father. David walked up to me and said, “So, how was it? How was it taking out a real live target for the first time?” I looked at David and said, “It was hard. Extremely hard. But I had no choice if I am going to repay my debt to you.” “Are you sure you want to keep doing this? You may not get to live long.” David said. I smiled and said, “Well there is only one way to find out. Let us go.” “Of course.” I said as David, and I picked up our masks and put them back onto our faces and left Anthony's apartment. I could not help but slowly walk out of the apartment looking back at Anthony's body. That moment remained in my mind as I safely returned to David's house. Ronald was still sitting there in the living room surrounded by his minions standing by the windows. “So. How did you turn out John?” Ronald said. “I did it boss. He is dead.” John said. “Good. Good. For your success of your first order, here is your reward including a bonus.” said Ronald as he ordered one of his men to hand me a thick orange envelope. Money was in that envelope. “For me?” I spoke. “Yes. You earned it. You proved your worth. You are one of us.” Ronald said. “Thank you, boss.” I spoke. “Of course. Now I should leave you both. Excellent work. John, you need anything let me know.” Ronald said. “I will boss.” said John. “Good. Let us go boys.” Ronald said as he got out of his chair and left the house along with his band. David looked at John and said, “Well done John. Wanna have a shot of vodka to celebrate?” “No thanks David. I need to be alone for a while. I am going to bed. Good night.” I said as I headed over to my bedroom. “Okay. Well good night.” David said. For the rest of that night, all I could think about was my last look at Anthony's corpse. I noticed that he had a smile on his face. What the expression meant remained a big question to me for many years to come. 
          Ten years have passed since the night I killed my father. I worked my heart out for the mafia. As a sign of accepting my new life, I shaved my head bald. My skills as a shooter became the best out of all the men even the older ones. Each assignment I took was nothing more than a physical sport to me. The exerting of energy made me grow extraordinarily strong. The assignments I did were with David and George. Every day we took out any known criminal we could throughout the city. We soon became to be known as “The Wrecking Crew.” Our reputation became the most respected throughout the mafia up to the point of Ronald making us his new personal council. I never knew I would earn a job to protect my boss. I worked so long for Ronald; I looked up to him as my father. On the other end, even though I became phenomenally successful with my job as a hit man I believed there was still something missing. Danielle has been on my mind ever since I became a hit man. One Spring Day, while drinking coffee at the café on Riverdale Avenue with David, I did all I could to hide my sadness. “Say John?” David said. “Yes David?” I spoke. “You alright?” David said. “I’m fine.” I spoke. “You sure? You seem down.” David said. “Even after all this time. I am still in love with Danielle.” I spoke. “If you really are feeling this way about her then go find her and tell her.” David said “Really?” I spoke. “Yes. It's time you quit talking and start walking.” David said. “Okay. I'll do it. Let Ronald know about what I need to do.” I said as I paid for my coffee and left to go back to my house next door from David’s. When I got there, I immediately went to work to find the woman I loved. For the next two weeks, I spent my entire day looking for Danielle. I used search engines on my computer to look up information on her. I also took the liberty of calling the group home where Danielle and I were, and they informed me that she was working as a chemistry professor at a local university in Lower Manhattan. The moment I found out that information, I wrote the address down, dressed in my usual all black suit, grabbed my GPS, jumped in my car, and drove to Danielle's school. On the drive there, I felt a glimmer of hope that was getting stronger. I desperately hoped that the drive would not be for nothing.
         When I got to Manhattan, I noticed all the crowds of people everywhere on both sides of the street. I felt amazed seeing a city crawling with life. Luckily for me, the GPS brought me to Danielle’s school on One Hundred and Sixteenth Street and Broadway. The building I parked in front of was a five-story brick building covered with clean glass windows for each room. He looked up and down at the edifice standing in front of me looking forward to having the chance of reunion with the one I loved. I stepped out of my car and walked inside the building. After taking a deep breath, I walked through the hallways and byways of the building to find Danielle. I looked through each classroom window one by one. After an hour of seeking Danielle out, I noticed a lone Caucasian woman in the laboratory teaching an experiment. I fixed my eyes on that woman. Her long red hair ran down close to her waist as it hit her all-white laboratory coat. Under her coat was a well-made blue blouse along with a black skirt that barely covered her legs. I believed that the woman standing across that closed door was Danielle. With that belief, I waited outside the room till her class of students left. When all the students left for their next class, I made my move. The woman, who was sorting lab reports, noticed me standing in the doorway. “Hello there. May I help you sir?” the woman said. “Yes. I am looking for a Ms. Danielle Nolan.” I spoke. “Yes, that is me. What you want with me?” Danielle said. “Is that what you say to an old friend Danielle?” I spoke. “John is that you?” I spoke. “Yes. It is me.” I spoke. In that moment, Danielle dropped the lab reports in her hand, ran to me and embraced me for as long as she could. “I knew you would come and find me. I knew you would!!” Danielle said shedding tears. “Yes. I missed you so much.” I spoke. “I missed you more. Please let me look at you.” Danielle said as she let me go. She blushed at the sight of my clean black suit, the feeling of my arms and hands and the rubbing of my clean shaved bald head. “How do I look?” I spoke. “You look great.” Danielle said. “Thank you. Say would you like to go out and have a coffee or something?” I spoke. “Yes. I love that.” Danielle said. “Great.” I spoke. “I will direct us to this cafe my students go to.” Danielle said. “Wonderful.” I said as I headed out to the cafe with Danielle which was across from the campus. I could not help but blush as Danielle held my arm for the entire walk there. Now at the age of twenty-eight, I felt extremely nervous on what to do and what to say since it was my first time on a date with a woman. The first thought that came to my mind was to hold the door for Danielle. The second was to pay for Danielle's cup of coffee. The third was to get Danielle a chair for her at the table. I sat down at the table right after Danielle did. During our time together, we laughed about our memories at the group home. “Those were the days.” Danielle said. “They sure were. Say, I got to tell you this. I ran into David, and I am still in touch with him.” I spoke. “Really? How is he doing?” Danielle said. “He is doing great. David is now the second-in-command of a remarkably successful business owned by his dad. He is also married to a nice girl.” I spoke. “Oh really?” Danielle said. “Yeah.” I spoke. “Wonderful. So, tell me John. What have you been doing all this time?” Danielle said. “When I left the group home, I was homeless for about a month. Luckily, I managed to find a job that pays well.” I spoke. “Oh no. Well, I'm so glad that you're still alive. What job are you doing now?” Danielle said. To be inconspicuous, I leapt over the table to hug Danielle. As I embraced my long-lost love interest, I said in a quiet whisper, “I'm a hit man.” Danielle could not help but quietly gasp to make sure an unbearable scene wouldn't happen in the cafe. “Are you...sure?” Danielle said. “Yes.” I said as I sat back down in my chair. “How long have you been doing this?” Danielle said. “Since I was eighteen.” I spoke. “Why are you living this life?” Danielle said. “I am doing it to repay my debt to David. He is in this group too. He saved my life from people who could have killed me. I must tell you now before this gets worse later.” I spoke. “Well, I am so proud of you for being honest with me. I am sure it will take time getting used to this, but it will be great. You must have been so lonely all that time and I do not want you to ever go through that pain again. I love you John Armstrong no matter what you are.” Danielle said as she held both of my hands. “I love you too Danielle. I should have said that to you all those years ago.” I said as I embraced Danielle again. I felt as if I took another step ahead in life by reuniting with the woman I loved.
         One year has passed since I reunited with Danielle. The love I had for Danielle made me complete every assignment even more precisely. We would enjoy every moment together with complete joy and bliss. Sometimes I would visit Danielle at her college. On the other way around, Danielle would sometimes drive to visit me. After weeks of dating, we got engaged. Two months later, we were married. I looked at the wedding ceremony as the best day of my life. Everyone from the mafia attended the momentous event. It was a scene that led me to look forward to what I believed would be a great future. At the reception, Danielle and I danced all night long to make it a tremendous scene of remembrance. A year later Danielle got pregnant. I left from being the fearful boy in the corner to be known as the greatest weapon in the mafia. Whenever there was an assignment given to me, I happily took it. The reputation of the mafia became so known criminals decided to surrender and give up their lives to the gang. The loyalty I showed was not noticed by Ronald. I smiled as I have been made second-in-command of the entire organization. At one point, I asked myself: “Is this it?” That began to fill my heart with uneasiness. It was too late for me to realize that there was an evil snake crawling behind me on my path.
         One Summer night, as I finished counting the rewards of my most recent assignment at Ronald’s hideout, David approached me. “Hey John.” David said. I looked at David and said, “Oh hey David.” “Have enough time to go have a drink?” David said. “Sure do.” I said as I followed David to Pelham Bay beach in his car. For the next hour, we laughed and drank our hearts out. “I have to say John that I am immensely proud of you. You become a great hit man.” David said. “Thanks David. I agree completely. I had a great mentor. I never thought that I would get this position.” John said. “Well, you deserve it. Say, how is it going with Danielle's pregnancy?” David said. “Danielle is doing great. The doctor told us that we are having twins.” I spoke. “That's even more great.” David said. I sighed happily as I held onto my glass of whiskey and said, “Say David. Can I ask you something?” “Sure. You can ask me anything.” David said. “I have been feeling a sense of uneasiness and I do not know why. I like to know what Ronald is really planning?” I spoke. “So, you finally have that suspicion huh?” David said. “Yes. Please tell me. I need to know the truth.” I spoke. “I won't tell you, but I will show you.” David as he handed me his iPad that he brought with him. “What is this?” I spoke. “Turn it on. Go to the video gallery. Watch one of those videos.” David said. So, I did what David told me to do. For the next half-hour, I watched over a dozen videos on the iPad. I could not believe what I saw that night. In each video were hundreds of people in a warehouse. They were pushing drugs in boxes on conveyor belts. Others were mixing them into machines while wearing gas masks. What made it all even worse was that at the end of each video David stood on a catwalk smiling and laughing like he accomplished something. That filled my heart with anger. I looked at David angry as I was and said, “So this is it?!” “Yes.” David said. “I didn't join the mafia to turn the city into a drug infested wasteland!!” I spoke. “What are you saying? Please join us with this plan.” I spoke. “Now I know why Ronald was in that area. He was looking for a new place to make drugs. Unfortunately, my answer is going to be no. I quit!!” I spoke. “What about repaying your debt?” David said. “I saved your a*s many times from being killed. I owe you nothing else. I got what I wanted to hear. I’m done. Consider this goodbye.” I spoke as I threw my glass of whiskey into the water, got to my feet and walked away to my car. David, however, followed me. “John wait.” I spoke. I opened the door to my car, took one more look at David and said, “What? What else do you have to say to me?” I remembered in that split second that I noticed David aimed his suppressed gun at me and shot me until the clip was empty. In less than a minute after the tragic scene, I found myself drifting off to the sea. My savior turned into my killer. I also remembered Ronald telling me at the beginning that I was better off at working a normal job for the rest of my life. I felt like I should have listened. As I sank through the depths of what I thought was my watery grave, I asked himself. Was that really the end for me or was it a step to making things right?       
          As the sun began to rise, I realized that it was not the end. I have not died. And with that, I swam out of the water and got back to shore. So, there I was. Alone, dressed in a thoroughly soaked black suit and unarmed. That made me remember all that time being homeless. I made up my mind to go seek help to make things right. I threw the bullet casings that failed to pierce the bullet proof vest Kenneth gave me onto the sand. I picked up my keys, gun, wallet, and phone off the ground, got into my car and drove off. The beginning of making matters right started with driving over to David’s house when he was not there. I did not care if the front door was locked. I kicked it open, so I could get what I needed. I grabbed a kitchen knife and approached Carla with it. “Oh my God!! Somebody please come help me!!” Carla said. I covered Carla’s mouth and said, “Shut up!!! If you do not want to die, then you give me David’s iPad. Now!!” I knew what I did was wrong, but I had no other choice but to put Carla to fear by forcing her to hand over the iPad. “Here just please do not hurt me. The password is written on a note taped on the back.” Carla said. “Good!! Now bye!!” I spoke as I ran out the door to get back to my car. Later that day, I made the choice to go to the only person I could rely on. Kenneth. So, I went over to Kenneth's gun range when it was open early and still vacant. Kenneth could not help but keep his eyes on me due to my damaged suit. “John is that you? What happened to you?” Kenneth said. “Don't worry about that. This is my consequence for the decision I made last night.” I spoke. “What decision?” Kenneth said. “I quit the mafia. I am no longer a hit man.” I spoke. “What? Why did you quit?” Kenneth said. “Because I found out the horrible truth. Ronald and David are trying to turn the city into a drug infested village.” I spoke. “Are you really sure about that?” Kenneth said. “Yes, I am. I must stop them. To do that I need your help.” I spoke. “I trust you with my life. If what you say is true, then you will have my help, but I need proof.” Kenneth said. “You need proof? Okay look at this.” I spoke as I showed Kenneth the iPad with the videos David himself recorded. “What is this?” Kenneth said as he shed a tear from his eye. “My proof. Now do you get it?” I spoke. “Yes, I do. I cannot believe the boss and his son were behind this all along. You are right. The mafia must be stopped. I lost a daughter to drugs, and I will be damned if I see any child killed by this poison.” Kenneth said. “If we are going to stop them, then we're going to have to attack them without them knowing it was us.” I spoke. “Right.” Kenneth said. “True but you will remain on the inside because I need someone within that I can trust.” I spoke. “Yes. I understand. I will write a letter to your wife saying that you have been killed.” Kenneth said. “Thank you. Danielle must not be involved in this. I cannot risk her life.” I spoke. “Okay but what is your idea of fighting the mafia.” Kenneth said. “My idea of taking the mafia down is foiling their plans.” I spoke. “Good strategy. Question is how we are going to know where to find these manufacturing sites.” Kenneth said. “We do not need to find out. I believe he is using condemned warehouses as well as old apartment buildings to conduct their business.” I spoke. “Yeah. That makes sense. Well, you better go hide in the basement before David or someone finds you here. I will go write the letter right now.” Kenneth said. “Okay.” I said as I headed through the stairway behind the counter to the basement. The basement room resembled a bedroom. It had shelves filled with books, a dresser full of clothes with a high-definition television set on top of it, a closet full of coats hanging inside, a queen bed and a table with chairs around it. As I sat in the room, I kept thinking about what it meant to make my decision. All of that made me shed a waterfall of tears all over the floor. It was as if I lost half of my soul. I desperately hoped that I at least knew what I was doing.
            One week has passed since I left the mafia. For that whole time, I stayed hidden in Kenneth's basement room. Twice a day, Kenneth would give me food so I would not stay hungry. I also had Kenneth withdraw every dollar from my bank accounts and put the cash in bags. Some bags were left at home for my beloved wife to use to take care of our future children. The rest were for me. As I sat on the bed, I would think about a plan to unleash on the group of people I once thought was my family. My planning was interrupted when Kenneth came into the room panting heavily. “John.” Kenneth said. I did all I could to calm Kenneth down and said, “Kenneth what happened?” “Ronald...is dead.” Kenneth said. “What?!!! How?” I spoke. “Earlier today, one of the customers who was working for Ronald, told me of this news.” Kenneth said. “This cannot be a coincidence. It has not even been a month since I quit.” I spoke. “Right. It cannot be.” Kenneth said. Hearing of this news made me go into deep thought. I seriously wondered how Ronald could die. It just could not make any sense to me. As I did my pondering I produced an idea. “I think I know what happened.” I spoke. “What happened?” Kenneth said. “David killed him.” I spoke. “What? Why would he kill his own father?” Kenneth said. “Think about it. He and Ronald are both behind trying to turn the city into a drug wasteland. David must have wanted to take control of the operation, but Ronald would not allow it. So, when he had his chance, David took him out.” I spoke. Kenneth looked at me in the eye and said, “That makes perfect sense.” “Yes, it does.” I spoke. “So, what are we going to do?” Kenneth said. “Begin our operation tonight by destroying the drug making warehouses. One by one.” I spoke. “Cool and I know just the first one we can take down with ease.” Kenneth said. “Where?” I spoke. “Ronald's hiding place. In High Bridge. I should have known he has been making drugs there. In one of those videos, I noticed that the room the people were making drugs in was the basement of that building.” Kenneth said. “Great. We will do that.” I spoke. So later, that night, we set out to Ronald's hideout. We brought explosives with us believing we could take the first step to save the city we loved. As a way of protecting my identity, I put on my restored black suit along with the same black mask I wore for assignments. When we got to Ronald's hideout, I hoped that I would succeed. Since I was no longer a part of the mafia, I had no care about killing the workers in that condemned building. Since it was just the two of us, we attacked the guards roaming outside the building and set the explosives around it in various places. When we finished, we regrouped, walked to a safe distance away from the building and hit the detonator to blow it up. We stood side by side as we watched the building engulfed in flames as well as collapse to nothing but a pile of rubble. “Whoa now that is what I call a big bang.” Kenneth said. “Yeah. Now that takes care of this drug making hideout. We must stop them by taking out the others.” I spoke. “Yeah!!” Kenneth said. “I'm changing my name.” I spoke. “To what?” Kenneth said. “My new name is Lazarus.” I spoke. “Okay Lazarus.” Kenneth said. As I watched the building burn, I believed that I had taken the first step in making matters right.
           Sixteen years have passed since I began my opposition to the mafia. To protect Kenneth, I chose to hide in an abandoned warehouse near the first destroyed drug hideout. To show my hatred of the mafia, I let my hair grow back to what it was before. Every night we would destroy a drug hideout operated by a group of David's minions. I never forgotten the family I had left for this. I always hoped that they were somewhere safe and able to live normal lives. I would always sleep with a picture of Danielle at my side. Looking at the face of the woman I loved filled me with a glimmer of hope that one day the mafia would be destroyed. Feeling that my twins were alive and well made me glad but knowing they were not in my sight filled my heart with sorrow.
          One Autumn Day, as I sat on the couch in the warehouse, I kept thinking about Danielle and how much I missed her. The thought led me to feel a trembling within my heart. It was something I never felt before. That feeling led me to a hint of worry that something has happened to my wife or worse my children. Because of this feeling, I put on my mask, vest, and pants, placed my gun into my pants and took a walk. As I wandered throughout the streets, I could not believe what I was seeing. I saw children as young as thirteen using drugs, people beating and robbing each other, people vandalizing buildings. I realized that everything I did for the mafia was all for nothing. I lived to repay a debt only to be used by David as a tool for destruction. That horrible truth made me want to cry my eyes out. It was as if I was watching a movie but only in reality. When I could not watch anymore, I headed over to desolate Washington Ave where the chaos was less intense. As I walked down the street, I noticed children standing at the other end of the sidewalk outside an abandoned apartment complex. I mostly kept my eyes on the girl. The girl had red hair like Danielle's length. Her height also matched. She wore a dark blue sweater as well as dark blue jeans to match it. The boy standing beside her was as tall as me. His arms were exceptionally long and slightly bulky. He wore a red and black colored jacket along with a pair of blue pants. As I lived up to my curiosity, I noticed not too far down the road was a car heading straight down the way. There was something about that car I did not seem to like. It was a long black limousine with tinted windows. That dislike of the vehicle led me to a feeling of paranoia making me say to the kids, “Go hide.” “What did you say Mr. Masked Man?” the girl said. “I said go hide. Now.” I spoke. “Why?” the boy said. “Please. Do not ask questions.” I spoke. “Okay.” The girl said as she and the boy ran upstairs into the nearby apartment complex to hide. Just in time the limo stopped at the end of the street. I placed my hand onto the handle of the gun in my pants. Just as I suspected, the people in the limo who slowly got out of it were all mafia members. The moment the black-suited men stepped out was when I pulled out my suppressor-equipped black handgun and opened fire. The limo riders never expected that they would be under the mercy of a lone shooter. They thought because they outnumbered me, they would make me completely outclassed. The will to survive made me a deadly gun man. I successfully killed every man who was in that limo including the driver. After I killed them, I called Kenneth on my burner phone to come to my location. My partner raced there quickly. “I made it. I am getting too old for this running around.” Kenneth said. Kenneth could not help but look at all the bodies. As I stood facing the sight of my victory, I took off my mask and said, “I am tired of being unknown to the world around me. Okay kids you can come out now.” “Okay!!” the girl said as she and the boy got out of their hiding place. I looked at Kenneth and said, “Nice to see you make it partner.” “What happened here?” Kenneth said. “It seems to me that David sent some men to look out for me.” I spoke. “You do not say. I guess wearing that mask no longer means anything.” Kenneth said. Kenneth looked at the two kids and pointed his gun at them. I suddenly stopped him and said, “No. Put your gun away.” “Why should I? How do we know that she is not a threat?” Kenneth said. “If she were a threat I would have shot her too. I do not believe she is at all. So put your gun away.” I spoke. “Okay.” Kenneth said as he put his gun back into its holster. I returned to look at the young boy and girl. “Thank you for saving us.” the girl said. “Anytime. I do not know but you both look very familiar like I already know you. What are your names?” I spoke. “Lisa. Lisa Armstrong.” Lisa said. “The moment I heard that, my eyes flicked wide open and said, “Armstrong? What's your mother's name?” “Danielle.” Lisa said. When I heard that name, everything came together in my mind. I began to realize that the girl standing in front of me was my daughter. “And I am her brother. Joshua Armstrong.” Joshua said. “You both are...my children.” I spoke as I approached them. “Dad is that really you. Are you John Armstrong?” Lisa and Joshua said in unison. “Yes.” I spoke. “Dad!!” the kids said. “Yes, I am here. I am so sorry for not being there for you both when you needed me.” I spoke. “It is okay Dad. You did it to protect us.” Lisa said as she hugged me. “Yes, I did.” I spoke. “I have no hatred against you Pop.” Joshua said. “Cool. Please tell me where your mother is. How is she?” I spoke. “Mom...is dead.” Lisa said. “No...no that can't be.” I said as I took steps back. “Yes, it is true. She died protecting us.” Joshua said. “Danielle...” I said as I got to my knees touching the blood I spilled from my assailants. That truth made me cry my eyes out for her. It was so loud everyone throughout that area heard me. That day no one understood the pain and misery I felt over the loss of my beloved wife. Lisa and Joshua couldn't help but hug me tightly. With that embrace I understood that even though I lost Danielle, the memory of her lived on in the children we brought into the world. Kenneth stepped in and said, “Look, I am sorry to interrupt this reunion, but we should get out of here and go to the hideout Lazarus.” Hearing that brought me back to his senses making me say, “Yes. Let us get out here.” And with that, we walked back to the abandoned warehouse. “So, this is where you live?” Lisa said. I looked at Lisa and said, “Yes. I am so sorry that this place isn't more likable to you.” “Were sixteen Dad. We don't mind at all.” Lisa said. “Wonderful.” I said as I walked over to the refrigerator standing by the wall and got ready to prepare a meal for everyone. As I sat at the neatly covered table at the center of the room, I smiled knowing I got to have a meal with my children. “That was great. Thanks Dad.” Joshua said. “You are most welcome my boy. Now I'm sure you both have questions for me.” I spoke. “Yes. I like to ask why did you leave our mom and us.” Joshua said. “Like Lisa said, I left her to protect you all. I'm sure your mom read the letter that I left for her.” I spoke. “Yes. That is true. You wrote a letter to mom explaining everything.” Lisa said as she picked it up out of her backpack. Kenneth looked at Lisa and said, “Well sweetheart, I can explain that part. Your father did not write that letter. I did.” “What?? That was you?!” Lisa said. “Yes. It was me. Your father did not want to feel the misery of not being able to see you. So, he had me write the letter instead.” Kenneth said. I could not hide any level of guilt I had over what I had done. “I am sorry again to both of you.” I spoke. “It is okay dad. Now can you tell us why your name is 'Lazarus'? Your name is John Armstrong.” Lisa said. “I changed my name because it represents my rebirth after surviving being shot multiple times and beginning my destruction of David Stone’s drug campaign.” I spoke. “I see. Dad why would you spend your life doing that when we can just leave here?” Lisa said. “Sweetheart it is something that I must do. You saw what is out there, right?” I spoke. “Yes, I did.” Lisa said. “David is behind all of it. He planned this all along. I must end him and stop this unrest. I was one of the fools who helped David manage to achieve all of this. He is a threat born of manipulation, devastation, and deception.” I spoke. “Well Dad if this is what you want, I will not stop you. Can I help you fight the mafia?” Lisa said. Without even thinking I said, “Yes.” “Me too.” Joshua said. “Okay. But you both need to learn how to use a gun. I will teach you both.” I spoke. “Great!! Thanks Dad.” the twins said. I smiled knowing I had even more support in my endeavor.
           The very next day, as early as the sun rose, I began training my children. With the help of Kenneth, I had Joshua and Nicola practice with guns from the gun range using old glass bottles standing on top of old barrels as targets. With every free moment besides eating or sleeping, we trained. I noticed how proficient of a shooter Lisa was getting to be than Joshua. As a way of helping my son, I approached him. “Hey son?” I spoke. “Yes Dad.” Joshua said. “Don't give up. You can do it.” I spoke. Joshua, holding onto a rifle, said “But Dad. I just cannot do it. I keep missing.” The moment I heard what Joshua said to me it triggered a memory I never thought would come back to me. The scene with my son was no different than the time David trained me. “I have an idea for you. Look at the targets as if they were your enemy. Visualize them as people you really dislike, aim, and then shoot.” I spoke. I smiled as I watched Joshua take his time to visualize, aim and fire his rifle at the targets successfully hitting them. “I did it.” Joshua said. “Great job son!! Well, done.” I spoke. Joshua looked at me and said, “Thanks Dad.” I kept the witness of the success of my son one of the best times I ever had with him. As I tried to help train my children's shooting, I looked at Lisa. I was very fond of Lisa’s aim as well as the way she fired a round. Even though I never got the chance to see Lisa grow, she was born with my abilities. Out of curiosity, I approached her and said, “Sweetheart.” Lisa looked at me father and said, “Yes Dad.” “I have to say that I am quite impressed with your shooting skills. Where did you learn that?” I spoke. “Back home in Buffalo, I used to watch action movies soon as I reached the age of thirteen. Mom bought me BB guns that year. The moment I got them I practiced with them non-stop.” Lisa said. “Oh...wow. That is very dedicating. What led you wanting to do all of that?” I spoke. “Because I always wanted a chance to be a hero and take out the bad guys.” Lisa said. “Right on. Well now you got it.” I spoke. “Thanks Dad.” Lisa said.
           As time progressed, my children became great shooters just like me. And with that they were ready to take a stand against David. One chilly night, while we were sitting at the round table eating dinner, I made an announcement. “Okay kids I got something to say.” I spoke. “What is it, Dad?” the twins said. “I am proud of both of you. You two have become as skilled as me with a gun these past few months. I think you both are ready.” I spoke. “You mean?” Lisa said. “Yes. You are both ready to help me stop David Stone finally. Kenneth told me that David would be marching throughout the drug-infested city just to get praise from the people who bought his poison. We must use this as a chance to take him out. We do that the mafia will be no more.” I spoke. The twins both nodded their heads and said, “Yes Dad. We are ready.” “Good. The march will begin in three days.” I spoke. “Right!!” the twins said. After we finished our important discussion, we began formulating a plan. For the next three days and nights, we practiced the scenario of how we were going to defeat David. With the given chance of finally putting an end to my enemy's reign of terror, I deeply thought of every angle of failure in the operation.
           After three days of anticipation, the fateful day finally arrived. Immediately after eating breakfast, we got dressed in our gear. We each put on tactical vests, headsets, grey shirts, black pants, and black boots. As I was holding a rifle in hand, I looked at the twins and said, “Okay children. Are you both ready?” “Yes.” the twins said. “Let's go.” I said as I led the twins to the car parked outside the perimeter of the hideout where Kenneth waited. “Okay, let's take this city back from David.” Kenneth said. “Yeah!!” we said as we got in the car. For the car ride, everyone remained in complete silence and thought about what we were going to face, bringing this plan into motion. After a long commute of driving, we arrived at our destination which was an abandoned apartment complex in Clairmont Village on East One Seventieth Street. With that, the twins and I headed inside the building while Kenneth stayed behind. We raced all the way to the roof step by step. As we got to the roof, we each stood at the edge of the building in view of the street below and waited for our intended target to come. Fortunately for us, we heard the incoming sound of applause and cheering from crowds of people. With that, we took our chance and began to take aim and look out for David. I got David under my clutches because our rifles were all equipped with suppressors. Throughout all the excessive cheering for the foolish celebration of death, I spotted David standing outside his personal white limousine equipped with tinted windows. “Joshua, take your aim. I see the target.”  I spoke. “Roger that, where is he?” Joshua said. “He is the man who is standing outside the limousine window waving to people. Open fire.” I spoke. “Right.” Joshua said as he began to aim his rifle. Within an instant second, I changed my expression of a cheerful smile to a shocked frown as I watched my only son fall to the ground. I failed to realize that the enemy took one step ahead of me and set up snipers of his own. Because I did not have enough time to find out where they were, I grabbed Lisa and ran back inside the complex to hide. We held desperately onto our lives by hiding in the building until the marching outside and the attendees dispersed. “Okay. They are gone.” I said in a quiet whisper. “Yeah.” Lisa said in a terrified reply. “Come on. Let us get out of here. We have failed.” I spoke. “Joshua.” Lisa said. We remained inside the building until night. We were both in complete sorrow over the loss of Joshua. I did all I could to hide the rage I was building up because the mafia took away my wife and now my son. On the car ride back to the hideout, we wept dearly for Joshua. I could not help but break windows with rocks to take out my rage in a positive manner. When Lisa went to sleep, I took Kenneth’s car to drive back to East One Seventieth Street to retrieve Joshua's body. I cried angrily as I walked back down the stairs carrying the body of my own child back home. When I returned, I laid his body on the ground outside the hideout. That night, I could not find it within myself to sleep because of the overwhelming melancholy that filled my heart.
            Three days later, I found myself brought back to my senses when I heard gunshots. Feeling curious, I walked outside and saw Lisa using clean glass bottles for target practice. I felt very sympathetic when I noticed that not a single shot hit any of the bottles. My sympathy grew when I watched Lisa fall to her knees and weep. Out of love for the only family I had left, I approached Lisa and said, “Lisa.” Lisa sniffled, blew her nose, and ran to hug me tightly. “I am so sorry about Lisa. I feel like I am the one responsible. I should have never let you two get involved.” I spoke. “No Dad. This is not your fault. I am not mad and I'm sure Joshua isn't either. So, you should not let this get to you.” Lisa said. “I think I never should have begun this operation. We should leave town and forget about all this.” I spoke. “Yeah, let’s leave and start all over. Thanks for bringing Joshua’s body back here.” Lisa said. “Of course, my dear. I will bury Joshua here.” I spoke. “I will help. You're not doing it alone.” Lisa said. “Okay.” I said as I sniffled and walked back into the hideout to grab shovels for Lisa and me. For the rest of that day, we dug a hole in the ground that was large enough for Joshua’s body to fit. As I dug the hole, I asked myself why something like this had happened. The loss of my son tore me in half. When we finished digging, we took Joshua's body and buried him in the hole. Lisa sang a song as a lament for Joshua. To bring closure to the loss, I placed Joshua's rifle beside the hole we buried him in.
            When all hope seemed lost, the despair came to a glimmering halt when Kenneth drove in and ran over to me. “Lazarus!!” Kenneth said. I looked at Kenneth and said, “Look Kenneth if this is about continuing this operation I decided to quit.” “Okay well how about this. David is out on the run. The mafia is trying to kill him. They are out looking for him now. With that you may have your chance.” Kenneth said. The moment I heard what Kenneth said I completely opened my eyes. They flickered at Kenneth like a blinking light bulb. “What did you say Kenneth?” I spoke. “I said David is on the run. You may have your chance.” Kenneth said. I wanted to see David die. That opportunity led me to go to Lisa, who was packing up her stuff. “Lisa sweetheart.” I spoke. “Yes Dad.” Lisa said as she was packing. “Kenneth told me great news. David Stone is on the run. I am going to find him and end his reign.” I spoke. “But Dad, I thought we were leaving.” Lisa said. “I want to stop him. If I do not, he will go to another city and destroy it like he was doing here. David has gone untouched long enough. Now are you with me?” Lisa said. “Yes Dad. You are right. Let us get David. For Mom. For Joshua. For everyone who have died under David Stone's hands.” Lisa said. “Yes!!” I spoke. “But Dad, how are we going to find David in a city this size.” Lisa said. “There is somewhere I believe he would go hide. There is a bar that he and I used to go to every night. It is located on Wilkinson Avenue. Ten years ago, David shut it down and be used for people to abuse drugs.” I spoke. “What makes you think he be hiding there?” Lisa said. “I just have a feeling he be there. Let us start there.” I spoke. So, Lisa and I prepared our gear and grabbed our weapons for our last stand. Kenneth came with us. I vowed not to rest until I found David. Finding David and confronting him will decide the fate of the city. So, we drove over to the old, condemned bar that used to be a place filled with merry. The sight of that old bar triggered a mountain of memories to my mind. The tables are now torn into pieces, the chairs scattered all over the room, and the bar in the center was now completely empty and covered with pieces of glass that used to be cups and bottles of alcoholic beverages. I sighed quietly due to the remembering of everything that took place that fateful day all those years ago. The acceptance into the mafia that ended up being a match against death. As I took my first step inside the old bar, my boot touched a pile of broken glass causing a noise. In that instant, two people jumped up from behind the bar pointing guns at us. Instantaneously, Lisa, Kenneth and I did the same thing. As I suspected, those people were David and his wife Carla. “I knew you'd be hiding here.” I spoke. “Yeah. Of course I would be. I have nowhere else to go. My house has been destroyed by the mafia. I have no other way to leave here so all I have is this rat trap. Leave now before I kill you again. I cannot believe you survived.” David said as he clenched his gun. “I always keep the toughest bulletproof vests for my customers. You should have shot him in the head.” Kenneth said. “I would never shoot a brother in the head.” David said. “See babe. I told you I was not lying to you.” Carla said. “Not this time. I came here to put an end to you and the mafia.” I spoke. Lisa, also with her gun in hand aimed at David, said, “Yeah. That is what we are here for.” “Keep your hands away from my husband.” Carla said. “I am sorry David, but you have lost.” Kenneth said. “Kenneth!! I should have known you turned against me, but I could not prove it but now I don't need to.” David said. “David, you have done something you can never undo. You destroyed this city with your drugs. Children have died from them. Don't you understand?” Kenneth said. “You killed my mother, and you killed my brother.” Lisa said. “I do now. All I wanted was money. I would kill a thousand children before I let myself go broke.” David said. “What kind of man?” Lisa said. “You are a disgrace to mankind.” Kenneth said. At that moment, I began to feel sympathetic for David because I knew that my former friend's wife never bore any children for him. “David I'm going to have my daughter and Kenneth lower their guns if you and Carla do the same. I want to talk.” I spoke. “Promise you won't kill me.” David said. “I cross my heart and hope to die.” I spoke. And with that, everyone in the room put their guns aside. Feeling safe, we approached David and Carla. In an instant, cars drove and stopped right in front of the bar. In a matter of seconds, men armed with machine guns jumped out of those cars. The moment I seen the men, I yelled and said, “Everyone duck and cover!” Immediately, we all hid behind the bar there as the men opened fire. “John. I cannot believe you. You should have just let me die. Why didn't you just let those people kill me?!” David said. “Because my murdered wife would not want me to do this. I can never get even with you. You do not deserve it.” I spoke. “But Dad, I thought killing him was what you wanted.” Lisa said. “Sweetheart. Killing him was what I wanted but I finally realized that if I do this, I am no different than David.” Lisa said. “Okay that is it!! I am tired of running away. It is time to face my punishment. John, I am sorry for all of this. I hope you can forgive me someday.” David said. Carla, on the other hand, went over to David and hugged him saying, “Don't do it. You promised you would never leave me.” “Honey. I must do this. It is time I accepted the punishment I ran away from all these years. You all stay here until it is over.” David said as he began to get up to his feet. I watched David raise his hand. “Babe.” Carla said. “I surrender!! Stop!!” David said. “Hold your fire!!!” a voice from outside said. Immediately the shooting stopped. I gasped as I recognized the voice from outside. “I am coming out.” David said. “Good. Now come out of the old bar and with your hands up.” The voice said. I watched David raise his hands up. His gun was in his hand in plain view of the shooters. I watched Carla hold onto David from behind. “David please don’t go.” Carla said. “I told you. I must go.” David said. “But.” Carla said. “You must let me go. You must live on for my sake. Find a man better than me. I never deserved you. All I did was caused chaos and the city suffered because of it.” David said. “I don’t care what you are.” Carla said. I pulled Carla away from David and said, “He made his choice Carla. Let him go.” I spoke. “Thank you, John. Farewell.” David said. “Farewell David.” David smiled at me before he walked outside of the bar. Lisa helped me with keeping Carla away from David. I closed my eyes as the shooting resumed. That moment was just like before, I was nothing more than a good and innocent boy hiding behind a table in that same bar. My savior ended up being the one staring down at the barrel of a gun. My fear and worry came to a halt when Lisa tapped him. “Dad! Dad!!” Lisa said. I opened my eyes and said, “What?” “Dad. They stopped shooting.” Lisa said. “Okay.” I said as I let Carla go. “You three behind the counter. You can come out now.” said the voice. And with that we walked out and stared at all the gun men. A tear rolled down my eye as I stared at David’s corpse lay face-up on the floor. I did all I could to ignore Carla scream and cry her eyes out over the loss of her husband. I then look at the man who called me and said, “George. I knew it was you.” George, still dressed in his clothes covered with cats and dogs at his present age. “Of course. I am so glad to see you alive. I should have seen David for what he was. He did not care about any of us. All he really had faith in was money.” George said. “Well. It is good that you saw the truth. Now David is gone what are you and the others going to do?” I spoke. “Vote for a new boss.” said George. “Well good luck with that.” I spoke. “We have already picked one. You John.” I spoke. “What? Me. Take over the mafia? I am sure David told you that I quit.” I spoke. “I know but we feel like you will be an even better boss than David. We are ready to take any orders you give.” George said. As I heard that that made me say, “Okay I accept.” I spoke. At an instant, everyone cheered in excitement knowing that they had someone new to lead them. This moment of accomplishment was another step in achieving my goal. We left David’s body at the entrance to the bar. I slightly flinched as I heard a lone gunshot coming from inside the abandoned bar. At that moment I finally understood what the smile that Anthony and David left behind. Accept your comeuppance with a smile.  
           That very same day, I gathered every hit man who had any kind of connection to the mafia outside the old bar. “I'm glad that you all came here.” I spoke. “Of course, boss. We will do anything for you.” said one of the men. “I like to make an announcement to all of you.” I spoke. “Sure. What is it?” said another man. “I am declaring the mafia disbanded.” I spoke. “What? What are you doing?” said another man. “I am doing this because the city needs to be reborn. We have allowed the tyranny of David to last for far too long. Instead of being murderers let us be saviors. I have a mission to destroy the drugs that have wrecked this city. We must let the police get back to work to retake their job in fighting crime.” I spoke. George stepped aside next to me and said, “Guys. What this man is saying makes sense. I am tired of being a weapon. I want to truly save this city. Come on. Let us put it back together the right way.” “I promise that each and every one of you who agrees to this will be rewarded the same earning from completing an assignment.” I spoke. With that all the men in that crowd cheered even though they knew they were going to be out of a job. I was going to bring out a revolution that no one ever expected. I kept a grin on my face as George led a large heavy white box truck. Within the back compartment of that truck was filled with money. “Dad what is all this?” Lisa said. “Half of this money is what I need to save the city and put it back in order.” I spoke. “Really?” Lisa said. “Yes.” I said as I looked at the money.
             Later, that very same day, we went to the local precinct on Laconia Avenue. We immediately walked over to the front desk. The female officer at the front desk looked up at us and said, “Can I help you guys?” “Yes, you can. We would like to see the commissioner.” I said while carrying a briefcase. “Okay I will call him.” the officer said as she picked up her phone to reach the commissioner's officer. We sat down on a bench by the door waiting to be called. As I waited, I felt a hint of gladness as well as sadness. I loved the fact that the mafia was finished but it cost him the lives of my wife, my son, and my friend. My pondering was interrupted when the receptionist approached me. “So can we see him?” I spoke. “Yes, but he only has time to speak to one of you.” “I will go.” I said as I stood up and walked up to the commissioner's office door, opened it, and walked in. Inside the office sat the commissioner. The interior of the office was of extremely high class. On each of the walls were covered with framed certifications regarding a variety of triumphs. At the far end of the room by the window sat the commissioner behind a desk. The commissioner himself was an African American man with a completely bald head. He wore a long white button up shirt along with dark blue pants. His eyes were dark black. The commissioner's desk had framed photos on both sides. The devoted police officer looked at me and said, “Hello my name is Commissioner Richard Jordan. How may I help you?” “It's great to meet you sir. My name is John Armstrong. I came here to issue you a request.” I spoke. “What is that request?” Commissioner Jordan said. “I know how the city can be saved but I can't do it alone. I need your help.” I spoke. “And how can this city be saved?” Commissioner Jordan said. “The drugs being destroyed along with the plans to make them.” I spoke. “If that were to happen the crime rates would stabilize. It sounds like a clever idea. What is in this for me and my force?” Commissioner Jordan said. And with that, I picked up the briefcase and placed it on the commissioner's desk. “I will make this worth your while.” I said as I opened the briefcase showing him the money. The moment Commissioner Jordan saw the money, his eyes flew wide open. “So much money. You are giving all this to me?” Commissioner Jordan said. “Yes. I do not expect the police to help me for free. What you see in this briefcase is not all of it. There is more in a box truck outside the building. You can split all that money with everyone here if you agree to help me.” I spoke. “This sounds like a good deal.” Commissioner Jordan said. “Yes. Do we have a deal?” I spoke. “Deal.” Commissioner Jordan said as he shook hands with me on our agreement. “Great so when can we begin?” I spoke. “Today. Let's start today. We have a city to save.” Commissioner Jordan said. “Yeah.” I spoke. “Wait outside for me while I go prepare my team.” Commissioner Jordan said. “Sure. I will go and prepare my team.” I said as I headed back to the waiting room where the others sat. Lisa approached me and said, “So. How did it go Dad?” “It went well. We have a chance.” I spoke. “Yes. George. Prepare the team. We are going to begin saving the city today.” said Lazarus. George smiled and said, “Yes. I will do that.” As George headed outside to inform the group, Commissioner Jordan and as thirty heavily armed officers approached me. “Ready!!” said the officers in unison. I looked at Commissioner Jordan and said, “We're ready too.” And with that, we began the operation. We scattered through the four winds of the city and stormed every other household where drugs were either being manufactured, used or both. Anyone who resisted was arrested by the police and placed into vans. To ensure that the city would never be under the tyranny of the toxic substances we piled them all up at the local garbage dump on Bassett Avenue and burned them to ash. I collaborated with the police to protect the city for the rest of my life.