feeling is empty

Planted firmly, my roots in the sea
the sea that you taught me to walk upon
i lost all my leaves in the sea of defeat
a constant reminder,
of my constant loss,
a constant loss between my fists and the tide
my nose is enclosed as the water fills my bones
i promise to tread for as long as it takes ,
as long as it takes to put me in my place
but now all i have is that a feeling once so real
is what i have lost by mistake
on a voyage to die
die to mistakes
it is only you that i am now lacking
this disease is moving onward, its now all i know
an unwanted tribute of how it felt to be alone
numbness surpasses what my heart knows to be truth
and over my head these waves are still crashing
tread tread tread let the sea be your bed
rest your weary head in the waters so blue.

Reviews

[jordan lynn]

thanks, and yeah its supposed to be bed.

[J.P.O.et]

Very sad piece here.
'I lost all my leaves in the sea of defeat'
I really like this line and there is good imagery throughout.
There is a lot of room for inference as in the case of 'this disease' but just an
overwhelming feeling of loneliness and loss.
2nd to last line, 'bead' is bed I assume, thru me off for a sec.
Nicely done

J.P.O.et

[Jake Weller]

the ideas parrellel with the poem prior to this one partly although the focus is a personal one instead of a comparison between your self and another who has fallen. its good, i love things i can relate with especially when you appeal to my sense of vision (great imagery). i also feel like theres a message of perseverance here, that we should never give in to hopelessness, and always climb. thank you for writing