we are watertowers

standing like bent old trees
improbable angles
water towers really
steeped in mud by degrees
and shades
manic anti depressants
aping deconformists
incredible wastelands
cover the landscape of mindframes
but they are infused with beauty
remembrance of late nights
disgusting cigarettes
and cheap booze
i don't know why
we ever went to sleep
 

Reviews

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

umprobable = improbable

You went rustic to urban angst. I think I can see where you are trying to go with it but you will have few that will. To better communicate the same idea I recommend using themes within urban environs that more easily lead to your ending.

You style here comes off as a dark, spoken rant on human conditions or just the one your are seeing. The emo coms when you tie what you see into something the reader can see too thus the connection.

My thoughts.

Thanks for sharing this.

Cheers!
Doc.