discernment

05/2011

you are my casualty, your eradication

my sojourn in your country 

has brought about my descent 

falling from your smothering embrace

your pallet of a thousand stakes

my surface dies underneath your taste

this com-mixture was difficult to fathom

but I will believe in you now, now that its over

now that its murder 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Layla J Omorose]

I love the last line of this poem and I enjoyed the entire poem. There's nothing better to me than a short poem with a lot of meaning. "You are my casualty, your eradication" strong and powerful opening line. I couldn't help but think of total chaos and destruction. And cause and effect. Very good poem.

[Gitana Deneff]

Very nice. I learned a new word: pallet!

[StarSandwich]

!_! Murder. Hehe, I like this one..

[Dahlia Phoenix]

F****n' epic and endearing!
The three stanzas that you wrote are pleasing and explain so many things in small words. :)

[CharlesMonroe]

I love this! :D it's full of raw emotion and power. Great job :D

[Elijah Gleaves]

"My surface dies underneath your taste." that line was gold. I like poetry that tells a story that requires interpretation. I'll be trying to unearth the buried meaning in this poem for the rest of the night lol

[clairvoyantmars]

this poem leaks emotion and the tears land on the reader... great work!! :))

[PetiteGemini]

This poem may be short, but has a lot of feeling. I really like it.

[Alicia Hirshey]

This is nicely written, I like how you captured falling away from the old and becoming something new.

[Helpless]

O.o frightening....

[Kenneth The Poet]

Very nice. Sounds like you are falling away from something old and are about to embrace something new. It's ethereal the way you described this fall.