Insomniak

Goofy...not my style.

It wraps around my toes

I get a feeling that it knows

The forced excursion as it grows.

 

Asking for a mild reprieve

Sometimes, they say, it helps to breathe

Without the sheep, I can't believe.

 

The ceiling turns into a show

It feels much better when I'm low

My god, insomnia really blows.

 

 

Reviews

[Tony]

Goofy isn't the word I would use to describe this. Fun would be closer.
I like your rhymes and good use of vocabulary to create this little reminder of those nights of tossing and turning.
The sleep I suppose I could lose, I just hate feeling all blah at work the next day!

[Bennett Logan]

I really like this.

"The ceiling turns into a show."
I know the feeling so well. On top of that, the line jumped right out at me.

It's definately relatable, so people can instantly recognize exactly what you're feeling in this poem.

The only suggestion I could make would be to change the rhyme scheme or take it out all together. A couple of the rhymes seem forced, like the rhyme made you write something you didn't neccessarily want to say.

Otherwise, I really enjoyed this piece. Have a good one and definately keep up the good work.

[James K. Blaylock]

I greatly enjoyed this piece. In fact, I often suffer from lack of sleep, myself. Years ago, I would stay awake all night, then only sleep for about 2-4 hours in the day. I was a living zombie lol!

jkb