Dumbass

I had a blank slate

Then he called and left a voice mail

I couldnt resist the sound of concern

Now I know I am a bad a*s and a dumbass

Falling in to his arms and his kiss like shards of glass

The pain cut so good but the scars bleed too much like you would expect this kind of cut to.

I block you again

He says he cant tell her he would rather die

He gets one hour of freedom from the prison that is his life

I dont feel sorry for you anymore

Its all excuses, work on the cars, uber forever more, leave me alone

I miss the dream we could have become

That helped me through yesterdays pain

Made me feel nothing I became so numb

I dont need to be so emotional

This is a hopeless devotional

Abusive Wifey comments i love you babe

He runs to me the very next day

And he can't talk about it he pleads can't we just enjoy the passionate moment untill 6:15

We meet at 5:45 so I could kiss him goodbye

I cant do this anymore

I cut the ties and as all evidence fades online

He says please dont rat me out

I am a dumbass is all I can hear my insides shout

I hear it though loud and clear

why you had such a long hold on me I will never know my dear

We made love to Heavenly in the background

It never lasts as the song plays out

We feel like falling asleep in our satisfied hazy state

All I feel is shame babe

Shame that this is the way its gotta be

I am glad you can appreciate whatever moment you can with me

In this toxic poetry

Why I am hooked on a dead end destiny

The memories make me scream

So does the number on my bank account app screen

I tell myself this is what I deserve

For being a stupid girl

I dont want you now

I need to shake you off and out

Its a wonder when you would rather go back to the prison and the car

I tell you it hurts me you are breaking my heart

All you can say is sorry but he fixed the toilet

Stare the brown remnants of yuck

I made you look at all our dumbass bad luck.