I Taste Tears

I close my eyes and

I hear your laughter ring through my ears

I see you growing older and taller

I feel your soft embrace

I smell your cologne and your sweat

I taste your love on my tongue, bitter like your end

I hear your groan of desire

I see your relief when you find needles

I feel you relax as waves of peace wash over your soul

I smell your serenity

I taste your escape

I hear you gasp like a fish out of water

I see you fall to the floor in desperation

I feel your clawing fingernails scratch at your chest

I smell your blood hot thick and flooding

I taste your sour breath as it fades like stars at dawn

I hear church bells and hushed whispers

I see your body limp and cold on a bed of flowers

I feel your skin no longer soft

I smell death as it clings to my black dress

I taste tears

Reviews

[Carolynn]

Wow - this is so powerful Jupiter and the more you read through each line the more it just sends you right into the emotion of it all. You did an amazing job with this - I'm not familiar with this topic and I can't imagine losing someone because of addiction but I know it happens. Thank you for sharing this :)

[Jupiter]

Thank you Carolynn! That's such a nice review(:

[-inactive now-]

Very poignant and haunting. Well structured and written, the emotions were captured flawlessly.
Good job :)

[Jupiter]

Thank you so much!(:

[Joey K]

I love this foreshadowing
"I taste your love on my tongue, bitter like your end."
I also love that this is almost going through time.

[Jupiter]

Thank you so much!!(:

[Elwyn]

Each stanza is its own time-frame. The before, the high, the withdrawal, and finally death. The repetition illustrates the changed in state flawlessly. You capture sadness and loss really well.

[Jupiter]

So glad you thought so (: and wow thank you so much!

[Firebird]

Not having any experience of hard drugs I didn't get this at first although I could appreciate its power and your obvious pain.. I read jesserose's comment and it became clear. So sad! I'm sorry.

[Jupiter]

I understand your view point there, definitely something to consider. Thank you for reading and thank you for your consideration. C:

[Firebird]

I think your poems are very good.

[Jupiter]

I've always hid my poems from everyone, just a little shy of letting people see what I write. You have no idea how wonderful it is to hear that. Thanks a million(:

[Firebird]

Please don't hide them. Write some more. x

[Jupiter]

I will now. You people are fabulous. I am so inspired.

[onmyway]

I don't know what to say - I read and re-read it - this poem can move souls - I don't want to say I like it because you can't like what the poem is about - but its so powerful - love the use of the 5 senses.. brilliant!

[Jupiter]

Oh wow your comment made my day. Thank you for reading and rereading! And thank you so much(:

[jesserose99]

Oh Jupiter maybe I read this wrong, but I saw a meaning of addiction in this. It was a beautiful poem..i could his life in the first stanza...then comes the addiction...the need...then the relief and you go through the steps so well of the pain that is felt in losing someone to addiction. I was swept away with your poem...and that was the effect that I felt it needed, because life is taken so swiftly.

This was a moving powerful poem Jupiter.

[Jupiter]

Thank you so much. I have tears in my eyes reading your comment. Your interpretation is spot on. So glad you enjoyed it!(:

[Relinqua]

A Really splendid poem about relationships, I really liked how you adopted the use of the 5 senses repetitively in your stanzas, it gave it a flow and an intriguing factor. Also the use of "I" repetitively is very powerful and your choice of figurative language and diction really well constructed to serve the purpose of conveying the tears behind relationships. Really loved the line " I smell death as it clings to my black dress". I prefer the way you wrote it and the use of simplicity to connect a lot, a minor consideration would be more punctuation to kinda guide how you want the reader to read your poem unless you wanted it to be free to interpretation.

[Jupiter]

Thank you thank you thank you. Your comments and observations are so wonderful. And thank you for the tip! I do try to avoid punctuation sometimes to keep it flowing but I definitely see what you mean. Thank you millions(: