November 7, 2016 · If I only knew what was at the bottom, if I only knew? - Julius Fann, Jr

I find myself smiling while writing this piece. Its journey's me to the point when I deeply consider mental projections of identity are not bad nor good things per se. What these words have brought also to me is to view of myself, if I dare to step out of the darkness of fear, is my characters.  We wear many masks, it has been said but die with only one. I will run with that; you do what you will with it yourself.  Let's go for a walk and talk a bit while doing so. Just a little bit, it could be an interesting trail and enjoyable sights, or just the opposite.

From the very moment we become independently aware of people, places and things, we have been injected with thoughts from outside ourselves and have lived from a conquer and divide mentality. We form our identity one way or the other by reasoning and compiling human history in the form of writings and exploring old ways of living.  We dig the ruins and interments of war, and continue traditional mental destruction given us by our ancestors. Yes, conquered is a good word for stagnant minds, for such minds can never conquer ignorance outside of itself?

Ignorance is a terrible thing. What else do I have but my mind? It is not a very good mind, but it is all I have. Ignorance - it is like a dark hole that nothing can penetrate. "if only I knew" I say to myself.

Yes, stagnant minds have divided humanity in many ways. It has divided the good from the bad. But in ignorance what is good and bad is like a coin without a face or symbol representation. If only I knew what was at the bottom, if only I knew that outside of me nothingness represents nothingness.  It is not true that nothingness outside of me is a lie when it causes people to believe when they reach outside of themselves, they can find fulfillment.  No wonder this physical body gets hungry for the meat of the world. It is a dangerous world out there to the ignorant.

In our hearts there is an aching coming from our minds as we .......  look up and see the moon, stars and sunrays.  We wonder how did they get there and maintain their station?  What is there beyond our vision of awareness, and why? We wonder if our mind can figure these things out and conquer its lack of knowledge or ignorance. We all know within our depth what we individual are aware of has nothing to do with anything nor anyone but ourselves, because our knowledge of good and evil is entirely what we have experienced.  So, we repeat over and over again, if only I knew?

What it comes down to is the reality of it all is: All things exist beyond the line of identification, even oneself, until self can move above itself and be absorbed in the stillness of the silence.

Never give power to anything a person believes is their source of strength - jufa