A man smoking on a rainy day

your eyes

kill me inside 

my lips

pucker when i see your face

your scent

forever in my nose

you smell like a man smoking on a rainy day

your teeth are cracked 

your smile is crooked 

you look at me with envy

i look at you with disgust

nobody can see you

stop hiding

if you don't care

why should i

if you don't love 

why do i 

you hate

why can't i

you are a mixture of my emotions 

but they all can't get though

just love me

like i love you 

Reviews

[Bluefire]

Unrequited love, with someone torn with harsh years.
He hates you, but you love him, not showing it, though.
I love the story, and the lines,
"you smell like a man smoking on a rainy day"
"if you don't care
why should i
if you don't love
why do i
you hate
why can't i
you are a mixture of my emotions
but they all can't get though
just love me
like i love you"

Well done. ^^

[Julia]

Thank you so much

[Bluefire]

No problem. ^^

[Miquela Eberly]

I found this poem very enjoyable, emotion hung from every word, very well done.

[neigh9]

You're a great writer and this is a great poem. :)

[...]

i find this poem little funny and very emotional. i like your words how they seduce my emotional part of my brain

[JalousieJacinth]

I AM a fan!! This is the first poem I've seen on here since I joined a couple days ago that I really liked!

[Sami Khalil]

"if you don't care
why should i
if you don't love
why do i
you hate
why can't i"

[Julia]

Thank you a lot

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..................

[Kamari's]

This poem was simple yet the reason it won is the fact I could smell the man and feel what the person who saw him which was the objective of the contest bravo .

[A. Amos]

Love the sensuality and passion involve in this piece...great work

[Sami Khalil]

"you are a mixture of my emotions
but they all can't get though
just love me
like i love you"

A splendid read and write...Bravo................

[Julia]

Thank you so much

[Sami Khalil]

:)..........................