Cinnamon

My eyes are still closed but my mind is buzzing. I can smell the doughnuts from 4.2 miles away. If only I could have one on my pillow by my head each morning. I jump out of bed (as much as a 401 lb. woman can jump) and make my way to my bathroom. I am convinced that it was built for a 3 ½ ft. 76 lb. baby. I jiggle my way over and skim the doorway (not quite squeeze through just yet). I prepare myself for endless gawks and glares by gazing at myself. I won’t go out letting them see anything I haven’t stared at first. I thump down the stairs and my keys drop as soon as I swipe them off the wall. I crane myself down and squeeze the keys hard in my hard, punishing them for misbehaving.

In the thick of my desire, the stretch to Krispy Kreme’s seems endless. Nonetheless, I’d drive for hours for you Krispy’s… I pass all the Skinnies, darting down the street, with sunglasses and sweat and spandex. The sun is a hot bowl of mac and cheese and I do so pity them. My white van is like me, round and plump and bright. I am happy to be big: I’m hungry, but I’m happy.

I’m on my last right turn when I feel it. Like an elephant rammed his tusks into my car, there’s a loud crunching noise and trumpets. When I push my way out, I see him, out of his car, hand still on his horn and he is Red and Ginger and Orange. His face is round and red, spit flying out far past his nose, creating rain for ants below. His ginger hair is frazzled but not moving despite 7 mph winds. His luminescent orange shirt nearly blinds me and I take a step back. I raise my hand to protect against the offensive coloring, with a slight urge to muss up his mane, and also in fear of contracting whatever bacteria may be lurking in that sailor mouth. All the while, I can smell the sugar and butter and dough.

My marshmallow van makes my mouth water and my stomach grumbles as I look at the caved in trunk of my van. “What the...” I mumble through names flying at me. Fireball is practically purple now; flailing his arms, he looks like a campfire… it’s quite amusing actually. I know there is no reasoning with angry cinnamon. I pull a long receipt from McDonald’s out of my wallet and he throws a pen at me from his side door. Quickly, I jot down my name, address, and number then hand him the receipt. He groans and moans as he writes and then rips the receipt in half. As he hands me his information, I can’t stop myself and the words “thank you” bounce off my tongue in sing song fashion. I realize I am laughing. At this point, it's like his head bursts into a million little carrot pieces. I’ll let him be there (I have more on my mind). His face morphs quickly with every nasty word and I shoot him my chubby pink cheeky smile as I get back into my violated van.

As I drive away, I see the chestnut staring at the torn receipt in my rear view. People are crazy.

It is true ecstasy to finally hold this little spherical heaven in my hands. Oh the sticky warmness on my fingers! I chew slowly and intentionally, savoring each comforting moment. I am in no rush, I feel light as a cloud, and I have a hot dozen by my side. 

Author's Note

This is my first short story, I typically write poetry. Don't nit pick my grammar!

Reviews

[Amie Ravenson]

I love your use of color and other visual cues to paint a complete picture. It shows that you normally write poetry, and I like that you've brought so much description to this story.

I can also empathize with your character, being a large woman myself, and her voice is very authentic. They way she doesn't prioritize the screaming man because she's more focused on her doughnuts is hilarious. Her smile and laughter at the end made me laugh too.

There could be a few more paragraph breaks, but that's a grammar thing, so no worries (per your note).

I would have liked to read a short description about the weather, though 'spandex and sweat' infers that it's a warm day.

Very relatable and funny! :-)

[julieartemov]

Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it and I will definitely edit and add more to it! :)

[julieartemov]

Oh and also, I actually would not mind some clarification and suggestions on where I should put those paragraph breaks. I'm concerned with grammar, but not as much as I am concerned with the story flowing in a way that the form would not distract the reader from the content, if that makes sense. I just put ignore grammar because people get really nit picky and I made certain grammatical choices on purpose, but clarification on proper paragraph breaks would be helpful! Thank you again for your feedback, hope you have a moment to help!

[Amie Ravenson]

I would add the paragraph breaks between the descriptions of the man's actions and your narrator's perceptions.The sentences where you're describing him would be their own paragraph, and the sentences where you're describing her feelings and perceptions would be their own paragraph. Does that make sense? It would just shift the focus cleanly back and forth. :-)

[julieartemov]

Makes perfect sense! I will work on that, thank you very much Amie! :)

[Amie Ravenson]

Any time! I really enjoyed the story. :-)