Oceans

something i started somewhere else

I'll act as if you never knew me

As if our lives had never wrecked together

Just let myself dive into a bottle

And let the ship built there take me away

Sail to the depths and never return

 

The waves will soothe the soul

And the fish will confort the spirit

The sand will cover those wounds

And the salt will burn them

But don't worry about me

 

I will eventually return to the surface

As the sun breaks into the sky

I will come back with shine in my eyes

And fire in my belly, scorching and hungry

Ready to begin again

 

As the butterfly who opens her wings for flight

I will begin anew to fly again

Never again will I see that ocean

or let the depths engulf me again

All in sight is the skies and future.

Author's Note

raw material deserves raw critics.

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Thanks for considering me a raw critic! Beautiful. I favorited this poem, I absolutely loved it! The metaphor of the ocean was fresh and original. The strongest part, that sang to my soul was:

I will eventually return to the surface
As the sun breaks into the sky
I will come back with shine in my eyes
And fire in my belly, scorching and hungry
Ready to begin again

(that is my motto for the hard times I am going through right now!!! Do you mind if I post this on my page by you? thanks.)

[paradise]

Hmmm I get it its good

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This comes from a soul of a survivor. "I will come back with shine in my eyes"-my favorite line. (Was hard to pick a favorite.)

[WritersSoul]

Oh my god, this is beautifl, it reflects me so much i cant believe i have gotten so mucked up! I am so blind to what's in front of me, and yet i still walk! I don't care if people care, i don't care if i hurt people around me and myself.
This poem told me a message, its helpful, but it wont register
Amazing!
Beth :3

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

A terrific, poem, most enjoyable :)

[TWISTED NIGHTMARE]

this was amazing...i really liked it

[HeIsWe]

This is awesome.

[Aly Jones]

This is awesome. I love the detail. :)

[Tyler]

vivid, forward, and relatable. your tone (or at least the tone i imagine) really sells the picture you painted. consider me a fan.

[Irfan Shah]

Happened to read it again and had a different kind of joy reading it this time.
Beautiful! This time the last stanza was turned out to be my favourite as it was full of beauty, hope and ambition :)

[Raven]

Great poem as far as I can see. "confort" should be comfort. Other then that, a really good job with a good payoff at the end.