Stuck in My Dreams

I dreamed a dream that

Life was passing,

Now simpler times are gone

 

I dreamed of God

Of saints and sinners

Rising brightly with the dawn

 

Moons and moons

Circled the Earth

Changing shadows desires

 

I dreamed of monsters

Dark and cold, haunting

Patroclus’ funeral pyres

 

Autumn summer

Winter spring

Trudging, turning past

 

Dreams of suppressed

Desires, red hot fire

Warm repast

 

Struggling against the Current

Trying not

to drown

 

Dreams replaced by

Nothing, unbroken blackness

Not a sound

 

Not blessed with death,

I walk

Through the troubled day

 

Tossing

in the night

come what dreams may

 

I do not dream of lions

Playing, fighting

On the sand

 

I do not dream of compassion

The embrace of

A man

 

I do not dream of family

The people stenciled into

My life

 

I do not dream of the future

As a mother or

A wife

 

In my dreams, haunting me

Taunting me

Each night

 

Dreams of failing , fill my hours

And intensify

In in day’s light

Reviews

[Just Kim]

Wow this is really good for only being 14.
You have a unique style of all your own.
Awesome writing!

[Trigorin]

Not bad. You have a very clear image and you've expressed it fairly well. I think there's a few weak lines here and there that you could have worded a bit better or just cut outright, but overall, this is solid. I think the ending could be a bit more impressive than it currently is, but either way, your tone is good and you've used good imagery. Well done.

[JustGoingOn14]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review both poems. I really appreciate your feedback and will strive to not be so generic in the future. Thanks again!