I Did

A poem collaberation with John Stussy. Kudos to how smooth these words flowed with another talented writer.

Have you seen the rose whithering

She bloomed back to life

Have you seen the sky blithering

Sky sliced by the knife

Have you seen the bird with frailed wings

Wings healed to take flight

Have you felt the pain of life's stings

You still fight the fight

Have you conquered the deep valleys

Made it through the fright

Have you conquered all your journeys

Felt the chill of night

Have the stars taken to melting

Blurring in your sight

Is your mind already smelting

Never asking why

Did you ever see it coming?

I won't watch you cry

 

Reviews

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Exaltation! This poem is all hope, all refusal to allow the dying of the light, and I love it! You took the phrase, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself," and you show us a means of DOING that without TELLING us to just do that. It is a great use of writing to be capable of pulling out meaning like this. Benjamin Franklin praised the process of writing for how it makes you really think out the details of what you think you know. When a basic idea is stated with sufficient detail it becomes personal and a work of art. This is a very worthy idea, elaborated into a beautiful work of triumph. Rage, rage against the dying the light!!! Have your stars taken to melting, blurred in your sight? Rage, rage against the dying of the light! I yearn to conquer those deep valleys! Exaltation!!!

[Antoñyo]

Excellent piece, cleverly-written...I got, "some things can die and come back alive stronger..."

Thanks for the share

[Firestone Feinberg]

This is wonderful. The content speaks for itself. The use of the question and answer format is terrific. So is the rhyme scheme. This is a fine offering. Thanks for posting it! --David

[Healing Star]

So this was when you realized it was time to change and go in a new direction?
This was when you realized you wanted something different.
You need to continue the fight girl, you are worth it!
This is about healing and new beginnings, but for a time you thought may not be possible.
But now we know it is possible right? We are going to be the one that comes back to life, that heals and takes flight. I want to teach you to fly.

[Jeremia]

Wow. I really like this. I can answer yes to quite a bit of it.

[SarahSaysSo]

Very beautiful, especially the ending. The last two lines deliver that emotional punch, just enough to end on something beautiful without getting too dramatic.

[A.r. Bazian]

well, powerful feeling of conquer ! and pride! earned pride!
life's been more than rough for your stake! i admire your bravery!
God Bless you

[Rain]

Some word rhymes seems forced, but still a good Piece. Nice work.

[ff mark]

Very good you speak of the past and things to ccome but you refuse to watch someone suffer, good write

[justjenn_2u]

It means that one can only enjoy so many beautiful moment in an intuitive mode that it was all a facade. It reminds that person that this girl was nobody's fool.

[Steven Cash]

I like it, but I wonder the meaning is all

[justjenn_2u]

The meaning is that one person has enough finally.

[Steven Cash]

gotcha