The Endless Cycle

Another oldie that I had shelved in the dark recesses of my vault...I wasn't too thrilled with it so today I revamped it a wee bit. It was originally 'Untitled' not sure if this title works.

“The Endless Cycle”

October 8, 2001

Revised September 30, 2011

 

 

I do not think I will fully comprehend

Why I torture myself the way I do-

Consuming myself with hesitation

A plague upon my character.

 

I might think sardonically that

I could become queen for a day,

save for the knowing looks flashing like cameras,

photographed verdicts for no known purpose.

 

I dig a never-ending trench to gather the rain

that inundates from the gateways of my being,

spilling over until my response is completely consumed

like a table drenched by an upturned glass.

 

My aspirations unfold like petals

that slowly writher and fade.

A feathery light elucidates the darkness

that carries my soul dispassionately away.

 

I wish my judgment wasn’t so shaded…

I wish your presence wasn’t so jaded…

I wish I wouldn’t hollow myself out for compliments

and allow the falsities to burrow within the tunnels.

 

I, being the hapless plaintiff within 

the trials of a so-called “love” with

a biased jury too uncommitted to give way to a candid heart

instead throwing out the case, the evidence inconsequential.

 

Why my insecurities devastate me so,

I will never know…

I sometimes feel as though I’d never be lovely enough-

Not that beauty is of much importance.

 

Are physical attributes more valuable

Than the internal desire, I forfeit?

Or am I purely a novelty that shall bore you over time;

a bronze trophy that will tarnish with age. 

 

When the feelings of exhilaration have receded

and the blemishes of imperfections shine through-

Shall I interminably remain a figment of contrived adoration?

Yet another conquest dead-set on defeat?

Author's Note

Now, don't be shy...I know the imagery is kind of all over the place within the stanzas, jumped from one visual to another. Not sure if that was too distracting or if the message was made clear using those many metaphors. Let me know what ya'll think!

Reviews

[luvingu01]

i think its pretty powerful. you paint the picture most inevitably perfect.

[Danelkahr]

When the feelings of exhilaration have receded
and the blemishes of imperfections shine through-
Shall I interminably remain a figment of contrived adoration?
Yet another conquest dead-set on defeat?

this stanza wakes up sleeping emotions. the nature within acknowledge the beauty of aspitraion as it unfolds petals.
the message was flashed out perfectly.

[Wynona]

"Why my insecurities devastate me so,
I will never know…
I sometimes feel as though I’d never be lovely enough-
Not that beauty is of much importance."

I love the contradictory nature of this line. The fact that the speaker makes a point to acknowledge beauty's fickle existence, almost hoping to protect themselves by diminishing the validity and passion of previous stanzas. It's incredibly revealing.

Good find in the vaults!!

[penless writer]

Yes u had ur legs on many boats at a time. And u handled it well.
Message conveyed and awesome read!!

[- - -]

I have trouble finding the hidden meaning in a lot of poetry but I can still tell an amazing poem when I read one. The imagery didn't bother me a bit, it's just...amazing, good job c:

[Your Perfect Disaster]

I think......... you did a wonderful job.
The imagery was a little shifty, but the after you got through the haze the message really cleared itself up.
I like it. Nice job(: